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AIBU to feel a bit upset

(12 Posts)
Joolsy Wed 14-Nov-12 20:18:43

My stepmum's b/day is a couple of weeks (it's a big one though she doesn't want a fuss made, ie. no party/surprises etc). I rang my dad to find out what she's doing & he said they are going out for a nice meal and her 2 daughters plus their partners & kids are going too. I feel a bit upset that me & my family haven't been invited. I don't think it's that she doesn't want us there, I think they genuinely haven't thought to ask us. I'm sure if my dad had mentioned it to her she would have said yes as I love her to bits even though we're not especially close. My partner said maybe it's cos she'd rather have her daughters there but it's not like there is a limit on numbers and it would still be a small, intimate get-together. AIBU?

frootshoots Wed 14-Nov-12 20:27:34

It's her birthday, she gets to choose who to spend it with. Would you really go along now knowing that you had to ask for an invitation? I wouldn't confused

whois Wed 14-Nov-12 20:28:05

Like you said they probably just didn't think, why don't you ask of you can go?

Joolsy Wed 14-Nov-12 20:31:05

Yes frootshoots I agree, I wouldn't go along unless they'd asked us off their own back. But I don't think they have chosen NOT to invite us, I just think they concentrated on her family & didn't think of us.

Joolsy Wed 14-Nov-12 20:32:36

I would also add that the main reason I'd like us to go along is I was going to get her something & would like to see her on her birthday and don't know when else I will see her as they don't live close.

frootshoots Wed 14-Nov-12 20:34:18

Mention it then, in a lighthearted way. Just not quite sure how she would forget to invite her stepdaughter, especially if she is still with your dad.

Narrowboat Wed 14-Nov-12 20:35:05

If there's too many people it all gets a bit chaotic, ESP with kids. Why not call back and suggest another celebration date of their choice and take your bd present along then?

I can see why you are upset but it's probably cock up rather than conspiracy

MammaTJ Wed 14-Nov-12 20:36:17

Tell your dad that you think enough of her to want to celebrate her birthday and leave it with him. I am sure then the invitation will be forthcoming!

Joolsy Wed 14-Nov-12 21:03:38

Thanks everyone! I like the suggestions.

ihavenofuckingclue Wed 14-Nov-12 21:08:54

Maybe they didn't because you don't live close.

JaneFonda Wed 14-Nov-12 21:12:18

It's always tough when step-family are involved - I'm sure she meant no offence by it. If partners are invited then it could turn into something really big, and if she doesn't want a fuss made that's understandable.

I would maybe take her out for a nice afternoon tea, that way it's special and you can spend some nice time together and also give her a lovely gift.

I'm certain it was nothing malicious, but I can understand why you would be a bit upset about it. smile

Joolsy Wed 14-Nov-12 21:37:12

Myself & her other daughters live the same distance away. I'm sure it's just an oversight on their part (at least I hope it is!).

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