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Me or DH (about sex TMI sorry)

(69 Posts)
BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 20:05:52

Have name changed for obvious reasons (I think so anyway). Really need to know who is BU?. DH has one of those male sex toys which occasionally we use. (On him only) I have no problem with it and will happily climb on top, but I draw the line at me putting it in him,- he can do that I think (once its in it stays there). He thinks I should be open minded enough to put it in, I think he should be grateful I have no problem with him using it. So am I a prude??

Whatnowffs Wed 14-Nov-12 20:49:59

ooh, where can i get me one of these?

WaitingForMe Wed 14-Nov-12 20:53:51

It'd be nice (for him) if you were open to the idea but he's wrong in saying you "should" be open to it just because it's what he wants.

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 20:56:36

binful I think it's because I'm a nurse it just feels "clinical" and it doesn't seem like something you should do to a person for pleasure, even though he is my partner. (Have I worded that ok?)

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 20:59:10

whatnow any sex shop- look up rude boy wink

BonkeyMollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 21:01:37

This ?

I actually have one similar to this....Not a bum one though! grin

bedmonster Wed 14-Nov-12 21:07:45

OP, how long has he had it for, and did he have it before he became your DP?
Or did he buy it when you were together? And do you use any toys yourself, either with/without your DP?

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 21:08:19

Yes bonkey that sort of thing blush

BonkeyMollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 21:09:37

Don't be blush , I can think of a hell of alot worse! grin

FrameyMcFrame Wed 14-Nov-12 21:12:32

Yuck sorry bur it would be a NO from me

RavenVonChaos Wed 14-Nov-12 21:15:15

guess what - lots of gay men don't like things shoved up their arses! being gay is not all about bum sex.

TerracottaPie Wed 14-Nov-12 21:15:50

I can very much see how the being a nurse would make it feel too clinical. Now that you've said that I'm imagining how I'd feel about doing it.

There'd possibly be too much of a 'On your left side please' thought process and checking whether it was lubed up well. Oh and wondering if I'd get a fart in the face on doing it grin

<reminds self to stop bending down so low when doing rectal exams>

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 21:16:40

bed we bought it together about three years ago, we have been together 14. We have a "bag of tricks" I suppose, with a rabbit and a wi vibe, he fancied trying something more male focused which is why we gave it a go. We do use them together, more than his one, but not all the time. I have been known in the past to use them by my self, but really not since having the DC- too exhausted!

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 21:20:44

That's it exactly terracotta and it just feels wrong to not consider gloves either which then turn off my "sexy thoughts". He thinks I just think too much about everything…

bedmonster Wed 14-Nov-12 21:22:12

Then I don't think YABU. You sound pretty open-minded regarding sex tbh, and accepting of what he likes, and I think he should accept your opinions too. After all, it's not like you're asking him not to use it.

nurseneedshelp Wed 14-Nov-12 21:35:36

I think you have to completely trust one another and feel comfortable with toys!

Each to their own I suppose, I blindfolded my DP earlier in week and used a but plug for the first time, he's deffo not gay either, built like a proverbial shit house and covered in tattoos. He loved it and it was a massive turn on for me.

I'm a nurse and it deffo did not feel like a PR exam that I do daily!
I don't associate anything we do in the bedroom with work!

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 21:38:35

If you don't want to do it then just tell him.

Fakebook Wed 14-Nov-12 21:39:11 don't want to butt fuck your husband. Yanbu.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 21:40:33

Does he use a rabbit on you OP?

ErikNorseman Wed 14-Nov-12 21:46:49

YAnbu! (Other people's) Anuses are not erotic to me in the least. I like bumsex and for some reason lots of men seem to find anuses sexy and that's fine. But if I was asked to put anything in my partner's bum I'd just feel gross and creeped out. Yuk.

Bluegrass Wed 14-Nov-12 21:48:18

I bet if he were being all squeamish about using a vibrator on you people would be saying he wasn't a real man and was obviously feeling threatened!

BooyhooRemembering Wed 14-Nov-12 21:59:06

how much do you bet?

<could do with a few quid>

worklifedifficult Wed 14-Nov-12 22:06:02

1. its not prudish, 2 He should consider himself lucky that your not having an issue with it 3 he should respect the way you want to participate. 4 now how do I get buy-in with DW to have a try.... hmmm!!!! could be fun we'll have to see

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 22:08:56

bluegrass that is so true- double standards. Shouldn't be but it is.

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 14-Nov-12 22:13:16

Ah, right. Butt plug. Gottit.
Well, if it feels too clinical, and it's only now and again, I say-buy him a strap-on, flip him over, and ride him like the bitch he is.
Wear a cowgirl hat while you're doing it. Nothing clinical about that! grin

BonkeyMollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 22:15:42

grin IfNot


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