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I wish I had nice neighbours

(36 Posts)
ROUS Wed 14-Nov-12 17:44:18

My neighbour has just deliberately picked a verbal fight with me. It's not the first time. Evidently we said 'Good Morning' to his wife in an aggressive manner. His shed is botch job, upside down wall and bad felt job but somehow it's our fault it leaks.

I don't want a 'best' friend living next door but it would be nice to have someone to occasionally smile at and be nice to my children.

sweetkitty Thu 15-Nov-12 16:52:20

After years of living in flats with neighbours from hell, the first house we bought we were insistent it had to be detached, ideally detached in a field away from everyone else but funds didn't run to that unfortunately.

ROUS Thu 15-Nov-12 16:45:54

How about a Mumsnet approved neighbours scheme?

Pleasant smiles.
Willing to help in an emergency.
Pleasant chat twice a year at community events.
District Zoombie defence plan in place.

StuntGirl Thu 15-Nov-12 16:19:52

I know the feeling! Our neighbours on one side are nice to us and we chat when we see them, but they hate each other and scream and shout every single night. Then blast loud music for hours on end.

The neighbours on the other side took a dislike to us before we ever even met them, no idea what we did. They don't argue as frequently as the other side but before the husband moved out they had awful slanging matches too. They're just noisy and loud, will holler at each other rather than just speak normally. Dog barks all the time for hours on end. They think nothing of just coming in our back garden without asking. Absolutely hate them.

When we next move I'm determined it will be a semi detached, at least if our neighbour is a dickhead there'll only be one to deal with!

sweetkitty Thu 15-Nov-12 15:46:53

We actually do have a prostitute living on our estate, apparently according to her neighbour she has a website! The house across from us contains the perfect neighbours, they don't actually live there, in the 7 years we've lived here no one has stayed there, every few weeks a man drives up, then a woman, they stay for a few hours then leave, don't know what's going on there then wink but it's a 3 bed family home, don't know who could afford that to be empty for years, it's very tidily kept though.

MammaTJ Thu 15-Nov-12 13:25:54

Oh it is Duchess. These are an improvement on a previous neighbour. The house behind used to be occupied by a delightful person who shouted in front of my DC 'I will throw a brick through your fucking window and make sure it hits your fucking kids', set fire to her house several times and only moved because she was offered a three bedroom house just as SS took her two children from her. She set fire to that house during a visit from the children and did so several times until she burnt it out completely!!

DuchessofMalfi Thu 15-Nov-12 13:17:57

The one right next door is fab, I couldn't pick her out of a line up!! I'm starting to think that's the best kind of neighbour MammaTJ grin

Pinkpeacock Thu 15-Nov-12 13:13:02

Bad neighbours are awful, I am so sorry. Mine has just brought round 6 bottles of wine and a bottle of brandy because he wanted us to sample the lovely drinks from his country (South Africa). As we live in the Middle East, alcohol is not cheap and it was such a lovely gesture. Am just waiting until a respectable time to open one...
I hope they calm down, it is a horrible feeling. I have a theory that not very nice people make bad neighbours, it helps to think you wouldn't want them to be your friends anyway.

BonaDea Thu 15-Nov-12 13:12:11

OP, that's horrible. Be sickly sweetly nice maybe?

We're so lucky with our neighbours, they're lovely.

MammaTJ Thu 15-Nov-12 13:10:58

The ones opposite me are obsessed with playing ball games in the road and on occasion deliberately kick it against my house. They report me to the RSPCA, SS, the HA and anyone else they can think of.

The funniest was when they decided to report me to the HA, yet again for my dog barking. The only reason my dog barks is because they are banging the ball against my fence. So, they banged tha ball and filmed my dog barking!! They also filmed themselves banging the ball. They still showed it to the HA! I didn't get in trouble, they did!!

Of course I look after my DC and my dog so those reports make no difference to my life.

The one behind me is their friend and took to saying 'wobble wobble wobble' as I walked down the road (I am overweight), until I said she should pay more attention to her daughter weight than mine!!

The one right next door is fab, I couldn't pick her out of a line up!!

TheInvisiblePoster Thu 15-Nov-12 13:08:04

After 4yrs with lovely neighbours we have recently had a young couple move in next door to us.

They are inconsiderate arseholes!
We've had to ask them not to drive over our lawn to park infront of their house.
They come home and put their music on at 2am.
scratch around like rats in the bedroom joined to ours till 3am on a regular basis so I have to sleep wearing earplugs.
They have loud sex that not only can be heard in our bedroom but you can hear the bed springs and banging out in the back garden.

I dream of winning the lottery so I can buy a house in the middle of nowhere.

SugarplumMary Thu 15-Nov-12 13:01:28

I suppose you at least know the cause sweetkitty and it may well die down when the work is all done with and the disruption is all over.

Our crime seems to be to exist - that we were a family. I think DuchessofMalfi’s DH is on to something - may try and factor that in when we move.

It’s not the original buyers on our estate who are now quiet old that cause the issues they often seem to like young DC it is the second wave like our problem neighbours.

Now I think about it the two other families down our road trying to move have neighbours like ours - family late teenagers early adults DC with late 50 early 60s parents. You get noise from the teenagers/young adult for few years while they live there or visit but open hostility lack of consideration to young DC from the parents.

You’re just not going to get that age range buying these houses they are family sized.

It is hard not to take it personally at times –though I understand from the things they complain about its not based on any logic it’s just ‘us’. We will move away soon hopefully.

OldBagWantsNewBag Thu 15-Nov-12 12:56:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TantrumsAndBalloons Thu 15-Nov-12 12:54:50

My new neighbours are running either a brothel or a crack house.

Its not much fun watching a seemingly endless parade of men going in and out.

sweetkitty Thu 15-Nov-12 12:50:40

Apparently according to our builders extension jealousy is rife, he said it is often the wife who objects. We've tried to be as sympathetic as we can, there's no windows along their side so to speak (were detached) its just the houses will look closer together but there's nothing we can really do about it (we couldn't build the other way).

DuchessofMalfi Thu 15-Nov-12 12:46:25

There's nothing like building works to get the neighbours hating you grin. That's how our nextdoor neighbours started their (one-sided) feud with us.

They objected to us extending our driveway (nowhere near their property, but they still thought there was reason to moan), and then they objected to our plans to extend our kitchen, issuing threats to the builders, us, the kitchen fitters/suppliers, the Council's Building Control officer and anyone else concerned. A vile jealousy thing we concluded - they couldn't afford to do any works to their house so thought they would just try and scupper ours. Bastards angry.

sweetkitty Thu 15-Nov-12 12:40:08

Our neighbours probably hate us grin

Were building an extension, the 1st set of plans they objected to, wrote a huge letter to the council most of it untrue, council agreed to extension! It was going to cost too much do we've downsized it, they were fine with this but are stilly unhappy about how close the extension is to their house. We are building legally to our boundary, there was issues with access as well.

But the best bit was when I sent a text to DH moaning about the neighbour and sent it to her angry I was in tears. I've since apologised but they still hate us!

DuchessofMalfi Thu 15-Nov-12 12:19:30

Sugarplum - I think what DH was thinking was that on housing estates there are people who are moving upwards into bigger houses, and people downsizing who were used to bigger houses, more space around them, all being thrown into the mix.

Whereas some people downsizing are absolutely fine with the reduced space, others struggle with having neighbours "in their face" as they see it.

We've gradually moved upwards to our house and have been met with hostility from various neighbours, mostly elderly who see the estate as being a retirement estate even though the houses are family-sized. Our children are young and don't play outside but our neighbours' children did when they first moved in but don't now because of the open hostility and aggression they received when playing out on their bikes/scooters etc. It's an increasingly uncomfortable situation which won't improve unless more families move onto our estate.

SugarplumMary Thu 15-Nov-12 11:11:30

"DH has a theory that it's living in close proximity on housing estates that brings out the worst in some people "

Interesting - first time we've lived on an estate - something built at same time and first time we've had issues. It's our first semi-detached and it's the neighbour we are not connected to who can't leave us be. They refused to talk to us but can't seem to stop talking about us.

Lived in flats and much older terrenced house with huge mix of people there with no issues what so ever.

freddiefrog Wed 14-Nov-12 20:51:48

Ooops, posted to soon.

They don't get invited, but then moan we don't make them feel welcome. Is there any wonder?

We don't all have to be best buddies, but we do all live in a smallish estate, in the middle of nowhere so have to get on to a certain degree. They don't have to be our friends, or even speak to us if they don't want to. Just stop acting like complete and utter wankers

freddiefrog Wed 14-Nov-12 20:47:43

My parents always got on with their neighbours too. They're still in touch 10 years after they moved away. One side were really close.

The neighbours we had before theymoved in we're lovely and all the rest of us get on really well.

They are just complete and utter arseholes. Rude, obnoxious and generally unpleasant.

They are roundly ignored by all of us now. We have several get togethers with the rest of the neighbours - New Year's Eve parties, BBQs in the summer but they'd never come to any of them. Following the Royal Wedding street party stunt, they don't get invited

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Wed 14-Nov-12 20:44:09

We moved into our house 3 years ago, our neighbours were so offended by our outrageous behaviour they sold up and moved. Our list of crimes included

(1) existing.
(2) breathing.
(3) not being invisible.
(4) passing in front of their house to get to ours (at the end of a lane, so no other option).

They used to completely ignore my little girl who would toddle up to them at aged 2 or 3 to say hello angry . They are not on our Christmas Card list.

Our new neighbours are lovely smile

ROUS Wed 14-Nov-12 20:40:00

My parents always got on, with a bit of give and take, with our neighbours. I still get Christmas cards from them, both sides.

One summer it was really hot and one lot got a load of concrete for an extension, - it had got 'lost' on the way to widening the M25. Half the street pitched in to barrow that to the right place before it set.

ROUS Wed 14-Nov-12 20:36:41

At first we thought it was just us and we kept a dignified silence. Gradually people started to ask about them and accompany it with a look hmm

It's comforting to find we are not alone.

DuchessofMalfi Wed 14-Nov-12 20:16:18

There really are some bastards out there, aren't there? DH has a theory that it's living in close proximity on housing estates that brings out the worst in some people (and the best in others I hasten to add smile). Some people, lile our neighbour and yours freddiefrog and Letty simply should not live on estates. No-one should have to put up with that kind of attitude from a neighbour.

freddiefrog Wed 14-Nov-12 19:39:59

Our next door neighbour is deeply unpleasant. We completely ignore them now.

They're arseholes to everyone, and as there's only 8 houses in our little estate, he sticks out like a sore thumb.

They've offended everyone here since they moved in 2 years ago

We had a street party for the royal wedding. They were invited but instead of joining in, getting to knitter neighbours, etc, the bloke came out of his house, drove his car off his drive and parked it in the middle of the communal grass area we were all sitting in before buggering off back indoors. Most strange

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