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to be angry with my GPs?

(9 Posts)
Breadrollsbuns Wed 14-Nov-12 13:34:10

I suspected that I was having a miscarriage two weeks ago. I tried to get a referral to the early pregnancy unit through my GPs but I couldn't for the life of me get an appointment or a telephone appointment for a referral, despite explaining my concerns re: ectopic pregnancy to the receptionist. I managed to make a self-referral in the end.

As I suspected, I was having a miscarriage and the EPU sent me home with a pregnancy test to do 10 days later to make sure that my pregnancy hormones had gone/were going. All very upsetting, but I was doing ok until...

...yesterday I had a message to call the district nurse at my GPs. I called back but she was busy, and the receptionist told me that there was a message on the system for me but that she couldn't give it to me because the district nurse would want to talk it through. Fair enough, I thought, and waited for the district nurse to call me back.

About an hour later, I had a call from a male employee of the GPs. He's not a receptionist but not a health care professional of any sort. He has called me previously to ask me to come in for blood pressure tests etc when previously pregnant.

The conversation went something like this: ^Cheery voice^ "Hello love, the hospital say you need to do a pregnancy test ^abnormally cheerful here, as if it was a good thing^ so can you bring a urine test in please love".

I was so upset. Before you start with me (smile), I am not annoyed that it was a man who called or that he called me 'love' (although this didn't help the inappropriate tone given the context). I'm annoyed because the district nurse clearly previously thought that she or another nurse needed to speak to me, given the request and the context surrounding it. Maybe (god forbid) she was also going to enquire as to how my miscarriage was going - whether there was continued bleeding/clotting/anything else.

For whatever reason, it was then decided that this wasn't important, so someone was told to call me and either (a) didn't know that he was asking for a pregnancy test to confirm that MY BABY HAS GONE, or (b) hadn't had sufficient training to deal with this sensitive issue. My general (and less emotional) view is that a trained professional should follow up on these things, which is clearly what they originally thought.

So, for my sanity, AIBU? I

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 14-Nov-12 13:41:46

I am so sorry for your loss.

Yes, I do think that is a bit rotten. I'd expect someone in that situation to have had a bit of sensitivity training (or common sense!) just to take the time to say they're sorry, rather than talking to you as if it were nothing.

If he can't see on his notes why you're taking a pregnancy test (is that possible?), I think it should be changed.

Can you write to the GP surgery and make them aware it's an issue?

Breadrollsbuns Wed 14-Nov-12 13:51:33

Thank you LRD, I am going to write a letter, although they also had a ranty call from a very emotional breadrollsbuns immediately afterwards blush - most unlike me, but I was so upset I was dialling before I knew it blushblush

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 14-Nov-12 13:52:18

Oh, love, don't beat yourself up, you were upset and you ranted, it happens.

Fakebook Wed 14-Nov-12 13:56:26

Sorry for your loss sad I think your rant was well deserved. Lets hope they learn to be a bit more sympathetic to patients like you from now on. Oh and you're not being unreasonable at all.

Breadrollsbuns Wed 14-Nov-12 14:48:40

Thanks LRD and Fakebook, that's made me feel a lot better thanks I'll give myself a while to calm down and then highlight my concerns to the practice manager to hopefully avoid anybody else in a similar situation being upset

BattlingFanjos Wed 14-Nov-12 16:22:20

Sounds like (I hope) he wasn't aware of the mc, so possibly not directly 'his fault' but surely a GP surgery in general has to deal with sensitive calls/conversations/information everyday! YANBU and I am so sorry for your loss and the complete disregard from them! Sounds awful!

Hope they learnt their lesson after the ranty call (which they so deserved!) And they think twice before a call like that again. Good idea re the practice manager. Hope you're ok xxx

Fakebook Wed 14-Nov-12 16:56:37

Having had a few miscarriages myself, I found a majority of the hcp's were really kind and sympathetic. I did come across one or two unsympathetic nurses and doctors, but quickly realised they can't understand what a woman goes though during and after a miscarriage unless they have experienced it themselves.

MrsMuddyPuddles Wed 14-Nov-12 17:14:18


Your "rant" is amazing well contained. just add an intro and conclusion and send it in.

I am so sorry for your loss.

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