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To not want the world and his wife at DD's 1st birthday party?

(95 Posts)
SneakyNuts Wed 14-Nov-12 11:12:54

DD is 1 next month and we have hired a small hall with pre-school inflatable thing for her and other toddler friends to play on. The hall is pretty tiny, with enough space left for a table of food.

DP wants to invite his Nan, cousins, aunties, uncles etc which I think is unnecessary for a 1st birthday (I am inviting Mum, DD's two aunties and a couple of friends with babies).

I've told him I think it's too much for him to invite all of his family, that DD wont notice and will just want to play. Also that perhaps we could invite those people to our new home another day for a bit of cake etc although we will be seeing them a few days later for Christmas anyway.

DP thinks IABU and I must 'hate his family' hmm to not want them all crammed into the hall like sardines.
I've avoided mentioning it since because of the argument that will most certainly follow..

Wearyworker Wed 14-Nov-12 11:15:03


SavoyCabbage Wed 14-Nov-12 11:16:05

Yabu I'd you want to invite your family and friends and not his.

SavoyCabbage Wed 14-Nov-12 11:16:25


WorraLiberty Wed 14-Nov-12 11:17:51

The entire thing is unnecessary

You baby would be just as happy bouncing on a mattress

I don't see why inviting more people makes it any more unnecessary?

NoTeaForMe Wed 14-Nov-12 11:19:14

YANBU to not want lots of people crammed in a small hall to celebrate a 1 year olds birthday. However, YABU to have booked a small hall when your husband (presumably the birthday girls father?) wants his family there to celebrate a very special family day. You are also BU to invite your family and friends and not his!

izzyishavingababyAGAIN Wed 14-Nov-12 11:21:01

YABU - I wanted the world and his brother at DC1s part and DC2s etc.

Justforlaughs Wed 14-Nov-12 11:21:18

Why would you have a party for a 1 yo anyway? As you are hiring a hall YABVU to invite your own family and not his.

HollyHopDrive Wed 14-Nov-12 11:21:19

I think you need to reach a compromise. If your mum is coming, why can't his nan come? If you are only inviting relatives from your side that is quite unfair and I could see why he's pissed off, but it depends just how many relatives he wants to invite as to the size of the hall.

Its her 1st birthday and relatives will want to celebrate with you and her,

SneakyNuts Wed 14-Nov-12 11:21:39

What I mean is, his Mum, Dad, Brother etc fine and other baby friends, but are his cousins, his aunties and uncles etc?

The hall is really small, he admits it would be silly to have a room full of adults.

Whether you think what we've planned is unnecessary isn't really relevant.

fosterdream Wed 14-Nov-12 11:22:16

They are your dd family also I think if you normally get along then why not?

Justforlaughs Wed 14-Nov-12 11:22:19

Is this a reverse AIBU thread? Would anyone think it was reasonable to invite their own family and not their DH's?

SneakyNuts Wed 14-Nov-12 11:22:23

To be clear, I have never said I'm inviting his family and not his...

izzyishavingababyAGAIN Wed 14-Nov-12 11:23:17

IT depends if he is close to them. I have never met DHs cousins (well I met 1 he was a total wanker), as they live far away, I am very close to mine so I would invite them.

izzyishavingababyAGAIN Wed 14-Nov-12 11:23:38

Find a bigger hall.

WorraLiberty Wed 14-Nov-12 11:24:20

I think it's completely relevant since you said, "I've told him I think it's too much for him to invite all of his family, that DD wont notice and will just want to play."

DD won't particularly notice any of it anyway.

Is the hall the size of a phone box?

If it's really as tiny as you say, I suppose you'll have to cut the cousins out.

squeakytoy Wed 14-Nov-12 11:24:22

How small is a hall that only a handful of people can attend.

YABU unless there are dozens of cousins, but it seems unfair that he cant invite his Nan..

SneakyNuts Wed 14-Nov-12 11:25:05

NoTea I didn't book the hall, we booked it together. He knows it's small.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Wed 14-Nov-12 11:25:41

If the room can accommodate them comfortably then YABU, if not, YANBU.

HollyHopDrive Wed 14-Nov-12 11:27:20

If it is that small then why not agree a fair number of relatives from each side, plus friends with babies? Does the hall have a maximum capacity published somewhere?

SneakyNuts Wed 14-Nov-12 11:28:05

Worra Sorry I was a bit blunt there, DD was homing in on my coffee!

What I mean is, whenever we see them, they don't let her roam- always picking her up when she just wants to play. Obviously everyone will want a cuddle and it just makes me wonder if she'll actually have time to play?

squeakytoy I do feel IABU about his Nan, thinking about it.

ticktockcroc Wed 14-Nov-12 11:28:39

I don't see a problem with a first birthday party with mainly adults - dd1s party was like that. I'd just be pleased so many people want to celebrate it.

Unless it's the cost of feeding everyone that bothers you? Though you haven't said that inthe op...

Fakebook Wed 14-Nov-12 11:29:25

I don't see the point of a birthday party in a hall for a 1 year old. Chances are she'll sleep all the way through it. Why not do it at home with all your family and let the poor baby rest when she gets tired.

Btw, YABU.

(Wow I just got de ja vu writing the last few lines. Can't believe MN is in my subconcious and is involved when the matrix changes...)

WorraLiberty Wed 14-Nov-12 11:29:25

When I say "cut the cousins out", I don't mean phone the fire brigade btw

Though if it's as small as you say, you might need the cutting equipment on standby...

SneakyNuts Wed 14-Nov-12 11:29:45

That's what I was hoping for Holly, but he doesn't seem open to any compromise.

I don't think so, but they did show us how much room the soft play things will take up and it's a large proportion of the hall.

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