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To be miffed at DH or AIBU?

(27 Posts)
mosschops30 Tue 13-Nov-12 20:16:17

Left work at 4pm went to new dentist
(he was gorgeous and i jokingly wrote on FB hot dentist = happy patient)
Picked up ds1
Then ds2
Got home, sorted washing
Dished up tea
Prepared tomrrow nights tea
Made lunch for next couple of days for us botg.

Its now 8pm and ive just sat down and made us both a cuppa (he bathed the dcs and put them to bed) and he said 'i cant believe you wrote that on FB' and is now in a mood over my apparent 'double standards' hmm

WTF???? Ive just spent the last 3 hours preparing food, washing etc, i sit down and thats it! I am fuming! AIBU?

2aminthemorning Tue 13-Nov-12 20:22:37

What you've done in terms of housework has nothing to do with it. Either this is the way you both behave or it isn't. Think you'll have to take responsibility.

Bit shaming for your DH. Unless he also does the same sort of thing.

myroomisatip Tue 13-Nov-12 20:26:44

smile well I am totally on your side!

Visiting the dentist isnt the most fun thing and I am very lucky and am very appreciative of the fact that my dentist is absolutely drop dead gorgeous and not only that he is incredibly gentle he is very professional and I have the most amazing teeth to prove it smile

Apart from my unhelpful comment I don't know what else to say smile I do really appreciate my dentist as I do my doctor.... does not mean I would want to jump into bed with them! smile

SavoyCabbage Tue 13-Nov-12 20:29:12

I am in total agreement with 2am. It makes no difference who makes the tea! Either the two of you feel comfortable saying things like that about other people in public or not.

mosschops30 Tue 13-Nov-12 20:30:49

Thanks myroom thats exactly what i meant, its not like im about to jump into bed with him or lay seductively on the reclining chair. I just thought 'hmm youre quite easy on the eye' end of.
Im sure being a bloke dh prob has this thought about 100 times a day.

Yes i can see that my unending donestic duties have norhing to do with it but i just though 'oh ffs ive just sat down'

piratecat Tue 13-Nov-12 20:31:31

what would your reaction be had he written that about a female dentist.

squeakytoy Tue 13-Nov-12 20:32:41

sometimes its better to just think things than go racing to FB to tell the world..

if your husband had put "great trip to the dentist - really hot dental assistant" how would you feel?

SauvignonBlanche Tue 13-Nov-12 20:33:24

Don't know what the housework has got to do with it, would you be happy about a similar comment about a female HCP?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 13-Nov-12 20:33:52

Do people really say this stuff on FB

How boring

mosschops30 Tue 13-Nov-12 20:34:51

Yes yes i take the point, which is also his point!
Will remove post - and just keep my thoughts to myself in future

DaveMccave Tue 13-Nov-12 20:35:26

YABU. Like others have said, what has housework got to do with it? If he went to the hospital and was on his phone facebooking 'hot nurse' would you like it? Maybe you wouldn't mind, but doesn't mean his feelings are not valid. I wouldn't like it. Especially not to the whole of facebook where friends and family can all see.

PuddingsAndPies Tue 13-Nov-12 20:35:32

Not sure why a woman working at the dental surgery would automatically be a dental assistant confused

StetsonsAreCool Tue 13-Nov-12 20:40:07

Hmm, it's a tough one. Dh put a similar status after he saw our new dentist for the first time. To be fair though, she was beautiful, and we both made a joke about it at the time. I didn't mind that status, but I'd probably feel differently if it was a dentist I'd never seen. I don't think I'd like it if it was on fb before he'd told me how it went. It's like he's only finding about your life through fb. Which I presume isn't the case, but you know what I mean.

I think yanbu to say it, but slight unreasonable to not say it to him first.

squeakytoy Tue 13-Nov-12 20:40:29

I have never yet met a male dental assistant, but I am sure they do exist. There is also nothing in the OPs post to say that her dentist is a man either though... wink

mosschops30 Tue 13-Nov-12 20:43:30

Status removed smile

Hassled Tue 13-Nov-12 20:43:59

You have two problems here: a) your DH is jealous of you commenting on the attractiveness of other men. And that's not necessarily a problem - I can't say I'd be too chuffed if DH put on FB anything about our hot female dentist (we do have one - but while she may be hot she is a shit dentist).

and b) bathing the DCs and putting them to bed is not the same as all the stuff you did. You need to share domestic tasks more evenly. He gets the fun with the kids, you get the drudgery.

OldMumsy Tue 13-Nov-12 20:48:47

Moss your DH needs to lighten up. Mine would take it as a joke.

YuffieKisaragi Tue 13-Nov-12 20:49:34

Separate issues.

I'd not be happy with my other half commenting on someone attractive on his fb status, and I wouldn't do it myself. I often think that someone is attractive, and I'm sure he does too, but sharing it on fb feels disrespectful somehow.

And as others have said, your household "duties" need to be shared more evenly. It's not fair on either partner to have one doing less, or only doing fun stuff.

LivesInJeans Tue 13-Nov-12 20:51:10

Totally depends whether a) he'd put similar and b) how you'd feel about his 'hot dentistry' experience

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 13-Nov-12 21:00:34

If you wouldn't say it in real life them don't say it in fb is how I think. I see nothing wrong with a good humoured post. My DH gets miffed at what I post (sense of humour bypass is family trait) so next snarky comment and he will go the way of his sister, his other sister, oh yeah his other sister and so on.

BigCrisps Tue 13-Nov-12 21:01:10

YABU. If he doesn't like you perving on people (and posting about it on FB) then you hurt him and I can see why he was upset. However many hours of housework you subsequently did is irrelevant to the discussion.

OpheliaPayneAgain Tue 13-Nov-12 21:02:27

Double standards indeed ... if your bloke perved over a bit of totty and put it on FB ... I feel sure there would be a thread

HoolioHallio Tue 13-Nov-12 21:04:57

You've removed it but have you told him that you understand how he felt? Agree that you'd be pissed off if he commented on his hot bank manager hmm

ihavenofuckingclue Tue 13-Nov-12 21:14:42

So you are annoyed he waited until you had time to discuss it?

Should he have mentioned it in front of the kids?

You know yabu.

mrskeithrichards Tue 13-Nov-12 21:15:49

You can think what you want, we all do. Dh and I even comment on other people in front of each other at times.

But I think putting it on facebook is the issue. I wouldn't do it, dh wouldn't and I do think it makes an arse of the other partner.

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