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To think I should report this to school?

(38 Posts)
missboring Tue 13-Nov-12 20:04:35

Today when I was walking home, there were a group of 4 or 5 boys probably aged around 10 or 11 walking home from school. At the top of my street is a very busy main road, and they started running across the road to the other side and back again. One of them actually stood in the road and waited until the cars were getting close and then ran back on the path. If I was in one of those cars I would have stopped and gave him a right telling off!

They ran off just I was getting close to them otherwise I would have said something to them. I know which primary school they go to - should I report this to the school? Just think something needs to be done about this, I can only think it's a matter of time before someone gets hurt.

MamaBear17 Wed 14-Nov-12 19:42:13

Please report it. I am a teacher and can assure you that, at my school anyway, these phone calls are gratefully received and always acted upon. Our children are all bused in and we do loads on road safety. Unfortunately, we have at least one accident a year, usually because of kids messing around because they think they are invincible. The last really serious accident was because a girl ran out in front of a car during a game of 'chicken' and didnt see that a car in the other direction has just pulled away. Luckily, the driver of the car was only travelling at 15mph or so. The girl was still in hospital for several weeks though sad

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 14-Nov-12 19:27:29

Oh i laughed at my DS1 the other day for his theatrical strop and rant. It could have gone either way, but luckily I got so hysterical that he joined in. We were laughing so much one of us wet herself and the other was holding his sides. Happy days

nokidshere Wed 14-Nov-12 19:21:19

Children were playing chicken 45 years ago when I was in primary school. One girl got killed! Its not a new game or one of boredom.

I would tell the school for several reasons (although I also would have told the boys off at the time).

1. You dont know the individual children but presumably can identify the uniform
2. The school can do a whole school assembly so that everyone gets the message
3. The school can follow it up with a note in the newsletter or individual letters home

HecatePropylaea Wed 14-Nov-12 19:18:50

No, and I think that's a shame.

I remember shitting myself if I'd been messing about and an adult came over to tell me off. I wouldn't have dreamed of giving them any lip about it.

Something has changed in the way we raise our children. We are of course responsible for the generation below us, so whatever if anything is 'wrong' with teens today (eg your example of responsibility) - look no further than us. We did it. hmm or didn't do it but should have done.

But I maintain it's a crappy, confusing and emotional time. I wouldn't go through it again, that's for sure.

Mind you, I'm still suffering it. My children are 12 and 13 and I'm getting the tude grin I had my eldest screaming at me this evening. It's very difficult to deal with.

I did the worst, most awful thing you can do tonight though.

I laughed blush

I couldn't help it. Full on teenage tantrum. Screaming and yelling. Not one of his autistic meltdowns, which of course I handle differently, but a proper teenage strop.

I tried everything to stop myself but I couldn't. blush

Dominodonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 19:08:43

True I am sure- I am only 33!
I genuinely really like most teenagers but I do think they have a growing lack of responsibility.
Stuff like playing chicken has happened for years but as you said most people won't pull them up on it now.

lljkk Wed 14-Nov-12 19:05:28

There's not a lot the school can do, but I would still report.

HecatePropylaea Wed 14-Nov-12 18:53:01

grin you sound like my dad.

Dominodonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 18:47:14

Yanbu report it to the school. However I would be far more concerned for the innocent drivers who would be traumatised than for the boys themselves.

hecate if they are so bored why don't they join the scouts or one of the other youth organisations around the country? Or they could
Volunteer and do something useful. There are also excellent youth clubs in the majority of areas. I dont think teenagers are demons either and would be perfectly happy to tell one off but this pandering to them and making out their lives are so hard is ridiculous. They are drowned in material goods, have no responsibilities and mostly their
Own rooms. Compare that to our grandparents generation, the problem is they have it too easy.

teacherandguideleader Wed 14-Nov-12 18:37:50

Yes please report to the school. We had this at my last school - some year 7s were behaving very dangerously. The whole year group were then given road safety sessions, and those identified as behaving badly were reprimanded.

Road safety should be something taught by parents, but sadly, many parents do not.

HecatePropylaea Wed 14-Nov-12 18:36:03


I think teenagers are treated really unfairly, tbh.

They're kids. Not demons.

Most of them are nice. Even the loud ones hanging around the shops grin

There's bog all for teens to do. Too old for the park and most other fun activities. They're in some sort of dead zone hmm

And everything they do is wrong. and people expect to treat them like children yet expect them to behave like adults.

Being a teenager is a hellish time. Hormone city. Wouldn't go back to it if you paid me millions. And not only do they have to cope with growing up, with new feelings, with becoming independent (a scary thing!) but they have to do it all with adults acting like they're the Children Of The Corn or something.

It's really sad.

Eglantyne Wed 14-Nov-12 18:32:47

Yes, report it. I reported the new year 7s who kept making me do emergency stops back in Sept. Clearly they'd never walked home alone before. I rang the high school and the deputy head rang me back to thank me. They got a couple of PCSOs to patrol for a bit.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 14-Nov-12 18:30:56

tell children off

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 14-Nov-12 18:30:36


I'm sure you are right. It's sad though, if people are seeing a group of silly lairy boys as potential attackers. I tell children of - firmly but respectfully, and most of the time they cop on to the fact they are being silly and stop it or apologise.

And I live in an inner-London borough

I am more nervous of girls though grin

HecatePropylaea Wed 14-Nov-12 18:27:05

I think it's because so many people think that they'll be putting themselves at risk by doing so.

Whether that's true or not isn't the thing - it's the belief that it's true that is causing the problem.

And the more adults fail to step in when they see teens behaving badly - the more they feel they can.

When I was a kid, I'd stop messing about if an adult was around, cos I knew I'd get told off.

Nowadays, people feel like/fear that they'd just get a mouthful of abuse or worse from the kids, followed up by more of the same from the parents.

So people walk by.

TheReturnOfBridezilla Wed 14-Nov-12 18:26:31

When I was about nine a boy in my class was killed playing a game like this. I still remember him, it was tragic. sad

HecatePropylaea Wed 14-Nov-12 18:23:30

How do you report it to the parents if you don't know the children, lovely?

If you report it to the school, they can deal with it as appropriate. But they probably won't be able to identify the children either. So that only leaves a talk about road safety.

(I'm assuming she doesn't know who they are, or she would no doubt have included that.)

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 14-Nov-12 18:20:18

And it worries me as a parent, too. If my DSs are messing about and everyone lets them, and I never hear about it, then they are vulnerable

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 14-Nov-12 18:19:06

What worries me is that adults no longer tell children off. They leave it to someone they think has more authority. In this way, children get the message that no-one can tell them what to do, and indirectly, we are reneging on our responsibilty to care for them. I think this is a big societal shift.

Not talking about you, OP, you say they ran before you could say anything.

I also wouldn't advocate putting yourself in any danger.

But I notice how few adults tell pre-teen or teen children off in the street for dangerous or anti-social behaviour

mamamibbo Tue 13-Nov-12 21:12:11

i would have told them off, i shouted at some kids messing about on the road,probably shouldnt have done but i couldnt just walk past

thebody Tue 13-Nov-12 21:07:20

I would do the school even though its not their responsibility and hope they would get the local police to talk to the kids..

We found out our ds2 was crossing the local railway line with mates aged 11, not being silly but just using it as a short cut.

A neighbour recognised them and told us.. I brought her wine and we all as parents blasted the arses off our kids.

Please tell.

drcrab Tue 13-Nov-12 21:06:56

Yes report!!

pudding25 Tue 13-Nov-12 21:06:05

Lovely, I agree with you but she doesn't know the parents and neither would the police if she called them. The best way is to contact the school and let them deal with it.

lovelyladuree Tue 13-Nov-12 21:03:12

Interesting how everyone thinks they are the school's responsibility. What about their parents? How about calling the police? It is exactly what someone did when my DS and his mates were having road races on their bikes, and quite right too. After the police officers had given them a good talking to, it was the turn of us parents. No more road races.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 13-Nov-12 20:36:58

not not bot

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 13-Nov-12 20:36:43

I would have said something to them, and I would report to the school.

I have a 9 years old and a 12 year old boy. IME, most boys this age will bot give you a mouthful of abuse or anything like that, but will repond to a calm, firm telling off

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