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"school snobbery"

(584 Posts)
dinkybinky Tue 13-Nov-12 18:48:22

I think it’s hysterical that some people think that if you child doesn’t attend a Grammar school or selective independent then they’re not academic. The level of “school snobbery” that goes on is quite bewildering sometimes.

OwedToAutumn Tue 13-Nov-12 20:54:11

I really dont get all the angst!

Don't most people just choose the best school for their DC from the options available to them?

thekidsrule Tue 13-Nov-12 20:58:38

i choose the nearest wink

thebody Tue 13-Nov-12 20:59:51

Wtf1981, well just because I am so glad am a TA in reception as found year 3s maths a bit challenging shall we say!!!! Even I can manage a number line!!

freddiefrog Tue 13-Nov-12 21:10:42

We don't have any grammar schools here, so i don't have to listen to local friends banging on about it, but it does cause a lot of angst among friends back where we used to live.

There is a lot of inter-primary snobbery here.

2 primaries within spitting distance.

One has a dodgy reputation due to previous head teachers and bad teaching staff.

The other is supposedly 'fantastic' and people would kill to get their kids in there.

DD originally went to the fantastic one. She and I both hated it, moved her to the one with the dodgy reputation and she loved it. I can't praise it highly enough.

People used to slag off my daughters school something rotten, based on an outdated and unfair reputation

We got a new head a couple of years ago who has worked wonders. An outstanding Ofsted inspection last June and excellent SATs results has soon changed a few hypocrite's tunes. Unfortunately the school they used to bitch about is full and they can't get their kids in there.

Mintyy Tue 13-Nov-12 21:17:59

"If you live in Kent your choice is between Grammar or Secondary modern as there are no Comprehensives to cater for children of all abilities. A certain madness takes over some parents in year 4/5 and the school gate is best avoided."

Exactly why the grammar system is just plain wrong imo. Even wronger than the private v state system in many ways.

Toughasoldboots Tue 13-Nov-12 21:21:03

Notimetotidy- are they building a new grammar near you?
I have probably got this completely wrong but I thought that new grammar schools weren't allowed?

I am in Kent and there is huge pressure for a new grammar in Sevenoaks, they aren't allowed to create a new one, so it will be a 'satellite' from an established grammar.

I agree that it is madness in kent from year 5, especially for superselectives near me.

VirginiaDare Tue 13-Nov-12 21:30:18

and your aibu is?

mam29 Tue 13-Nov-12 22:56:23

My dd used to go to highy regarded local faith primary.

was oversubscribed last 2reception years

dds year weirdly was undersubscribed.

spent lots year 1 unhappy
then 8weeks of year 2

shes just doing 2nd week at new school.

yet local people keep telling me im mad

30mins walk too far

Its too small

mixed classes

out catchment for younger siblings

have freind who lives close to new school who openly slates it

I think many years ago it wasent as good.

but ithas better sats and good ofsted than old school.
Yet people still say im mad old school was dowgraded ofsted last term and when compared local sats even the less thourht schools people turned nose up at got better its all about perception.

A school can change a lot in a few years

diffrent schools suit diffrent children

parents want diffrent things i wanted more sport, music, encrichment, smaller, less formal and more positve and luckily for me took plunge and got it if I listen to what everyone else said she still be unhappy.

I guess i expect negatives from people at old school.

1944girl Tue 13-Nov-12 23:04:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBolter Tue 13-Nov-12 23:12:36

I live in an area with excellent state schools, but I know some parents who seem borderline obsessive about making sure they send their little dumplings to the 'raite school' at 13... they all seem to have finally chosen a v well known boarding school fifty miles away. I have had to listen to many a conversation held between them over the drama and dilema of their choice! Despite the fact their children are happy, socialising well, and actually thriving at the local states.

Their reason for moving them are, I quote, "because they will learn how to mix in the right social circles", "because it was the done thing in our family", and, "because we have the money to give them the best education they can possibly get".

OK, ok, perhaps I'm jealous of the fact they clearly have so much money to spare on what I would consider the height of luxury given that we live in such a good area for local schools. However I think I mainly see the red mist because they have no idea how unbelievably crass they sound in front of parents who have no option other than the local states. I would probably understand if the local schools were shit, but their implication is that they aren't good enough for their children even though they always hasten to add that they are 'wonderful'. Another implication that seems to come across from hearing their conversations is that state school children grow up socially inept.

I have to add that they are also some of the most insecure people I've met, so clearly their social education at some of the country's best boarding schools wasn't that great. grin

<<Disclaimer: not all parents who sent their children to private school are insecure!>>

missingmumxox Wed 14-Nov-12 01:34:14

sue52 I am in Kent and it make me chuckle the angst over it, I moved back to Kent in the 70's when all children did the 11 plus, my Mum was told I didn't have a hope in as I entered the system in what is now year 5..she was not wrong,
My Boys have lost a year and a half of British Schooling and Schooling in general as they where in the States and they entered Year 1 having done 2 1/2 months of 2 !/2 hours a day.

they now in year three 1 has caught up and excelling, 1 can't read, can't write but fabulous at math, I think maybe DT 1 will be able to take the Kent Test, maybe pass? Dt2 no way, he is as intelligent as his brother but Dyslexic like me.

So what to do...spend £6000 which seems to be the norm in tuition from next year (3K each) or think stuff! it I am the boss at my work, I failed, I found my stride at 19 and worked hard and , I am the boss of 2 ex Grammar school contemporaries of mine in Kent, 1 older grammar person who is about to get on the curve to a job like mine, 2 compie kids our Doctors! and 2 young Kent test fails, who's jobs are on a par with the Grammar contemporaries, and like them 1 has a degree and the other doesn't.

I think personally I would like a school which suit my children, not the other way round, and I really can see that DT1 would thrive in a Grammar, Dt2 needs what I had, excel at something, and not constantly working hard to find you are bottom of the class, gave me a self worth, which gave me the confidence to move on from school.

for the record I moved to a high School in the Midlands on the intake year at age 13, I bloody hated it, I was good at Maths and Science so in set 3 out of 10, made to do French but had done German previously, and not "allowed" to do German as you had to be in one of the top 2 sets for French.

To allow me to do science and math in the top 5 meant I had to be in top 5 for English so the time table worked out, I am Dyslexic, It was a nightmare, the good thing about failing my 11+ I was able to do all my subjects at the pace I could cope with, so top set for Science, debate, Math, history and Geography, middle set for German and bottom for English.

Oh and I was team Captain for sport for my year....don't even get me started on the way I was treated in my High school on this...still bitter

missingmumxox Wed 14-Nov-12 01:36:46

PS I have just noticed the salt and pepper punctuation on this, typing to fast ..should have checked smile

Startail Wed 14-Nov-12 02:42:06

I too have friends who, I suspect think I'm mad sending DD2 to the comp with her sister rather than subjecting her to stupidly long days then tons of HW at the Grammar school.

I went to a very ordinary comp and on to a RG university. There were several other past pupils there.

I think pretty much all my year got the course they wanted including medicine.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Wed 14-Nov-12 04:04:40

It's what's right for your child. An 'outstanding' school might be the wrong choice for your child, then again it might be the best. People are too quick to judge on an ofsted and pressure their kids

LaQueen Wed 14-Nov-12 08:49:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notimetotidy Wed 14-Nov-12 09:32:39

Toughasoldboots - I'm in Northern Ireland. There are still grammars here. The 11+ was abolished 3 (I think) years ago. The grammar schools then decided that they would continue to have transfer tests - totally illegal. But hey, the old school snobbery system is alive and well here and as long as parents continue to PAY for their child to sit these tests it will continue.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 14-Nov-12 09:34:55

Is this an English/Home Counties/London thing?

It certainly doesn't go in Wales (where I grew up) or in Cornwall (where I live now). I went to a bog standard comp and got very good results and was generally considered to be pretty academic.

dinkybinky Wed 14-Nov-12 09:37:51

Is this an English/Home Counties/London thing?


rotavirusrita Wed 14-Nov-12 09:40:48

Thank god I live in the middle of nowhere and my children will go to the local comprehensive school with their friends.
Mumsnet education boards seemed to be skewed towards london the home counties and associated angst about type of school and whether PFB is being pushed enough of levels and reading bands and all that rubbish. It completely the ignores the (?vast majority) of parents who send their children happily to their local school and then get on with their lives!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 14-Nov-12 09:41:08

Another reason I'm glad I live where I do. It may be a rain-lashed, bleak, cultural desert but at least there's no school snobbery grin

Toughasoldboots Wed 14-Nov-12 09:41:19

Ah, ok thanks notimetotidy, yes, still alive and kicking in Kent too, but they are not allowed to build new grammars. Hence a new one by stealth.

ByTheWay1 Wed 14-Nov-12 09:50:35

Plenty of snobbery over here in the Cotswolds - London-in-the-country - but us ordinary folks don't really care that much - some kids go to grammar some to comp - if you live the right side of town you go to any of 3 high achieving comps happily, if you live the wrong side you tutor like hell to get to grammar, or go to schools with bad reputation..

(but schooling and education are not the same thing.)

Everlong Wed 14-Nov-12 09:54:11

OP I have never seen that on mumsnet. Ever.

Lots derisive comments about why people choose private above state but have not yet seen a thread/post stating a child isn't or can't be academic if not attending GS or private..

Where have you seen it?

seeker Wed 14-Nov-12 09:57:08

"I think it’s hysterical that some people think that if you child doesn’t attend a Grammar school or selective independent then they’re not academic. The level of “school snobbery” that goes on is quite bewildering sometimes."

As far as I am aware, there is only one-or possibly two- poster who thinks that!grin

seeker Wed 14-Nov-12 09:58:38

Well, actually, there are lots of people in RL round our wqy who think like that- but the system is so crap that they do sort of have a point......

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