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I've just realised that I may be thought of as "grabby". Help!

(28 Posts)
MrsParty Tue 13-Nov-12 16:57:53

Ive invited dd's whole class to her birthday party next weekend.

As we invited the whole class, there are quite a few children coming whose party dd wasn't invited to. I didn't want anyone left out when invitations and so that's why invited everyone.

Now another boy in her class has a party and his mum has just text to tell me that there is no need to bring presents for his party. I just read her text and immediately felt a little embarrassed. I hadn't even thought people would bring presents as I've been so busy organising everything. I've just had this horrible thought that I'm inviting everyone to get presents for dd! I feel sick that people might think this.

What should I do? Should I message her back and tell her ill bring a small gift anyway as it doesn't seem right not giving a birthday boy/girl a gift?

I've spent over £300 on Dd's party to make sure all the children have decent gifts in party bags. I'm not a greedy person so why do I feel like it all of a sudden?!

gordyslovesheep Tue 13-Nov-12 17:00:49

seriously ...maybe just ask them to bring a grip grin

YABU and a bit daft

Spatsky Tue 13-Nov-12 17:01:41

Everyone brings presents to parties, even if host says no need to bring presents.

Don't understand the issue if I'm honest..?

MaxPepsi Tue 13-Nov-12 17:01:42

What the other mum means is she doesn't want a load of 99p shop tat in her house.

I would always send a child to a party with a gift.

She's being unreasonable, her child will wonder what he's done wrong when he gets nothing. Poor Kid

MrsParty Tue 13-Nov-12 17:02:01

No should I take her son a gift anyway? I don't want her to think ill take things and not give. I'm confused.

FutureNannyOgg Tue 13-Nov-12 17:03:04

I would think you wecre being generous hosting them all. Unless your invite included a present request I think you are doing just fine. The mother asking for no presents is the unusual one, but that's fine too as it's her choice, she is probably trying to avoid accumulating lots of stuff.

Spatsky Tue 13-Nov-12 17:03:34

I would take a present, everyone will. I have hosted and attended kids parties where the invite says no need for presents, but the pile of presents is always taller than a house anyway.

Spatsky Tue 13-Nov-12 17:04:48

or trying to be thoughtful.

I said not need for presents on my sons invites because it was 2 days before Xmas and I figured people could do without an extra present to buy at that time of year - the all brought one anyway.

amck5700 Tue 13-Nov-12 17:07:07

Some parents give their kids a birthday present or a party on the basis that they will get gifts at the party instead of from them - that's reasonably normal - what age group are we talking here? Would a gift card inside a birthday card be appropriate?

MrsParty Tue 13-Nov-12 17:08:37

Amck, he's going to be 5 years old.

Convert Tue 13-Nov-12 17:10:35

I would buy the other child a book, I don't see how the other mother can object to that. We invited both reception classes to DS1s birthday party last year as the classes mingled a lot and we didn't want to leave anyone out and ended up with three bin liners full of presents!

MrsParty Tue 13-Nov-12 17:11:23

At my dn's birthday a lot of children gave him one pound coins stuck inside the card, one for each year. Maybe £5 inside the card?

Justforlaughs Tue 13-Nov-12 17:57:19

Don't worry about it, no-one is going to think taht you have invited the class just so your DC gets lots of presents! Most people going to the other party will take a present anyway, and if they don't then they probably wouldn't have taken one regardless.

Fluffy1234 Tue 13-Nov-12 17:59:27

Was the text just for you (meaning let's not buy for each others children presents to save the aggro of buying domething and money) or was the text to everyone?

mummyonvalium Tue 13-Nov-12 18:06:02

It would be weird to not bring anything to a party - if someone spends a lot of money hosting a party it is only polite to bring something and seeing as it is the kids birthday party entirely logical to bring a present (I hope that makes sense).

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 18:12:06

you dont sound grabby at all. people expect to have to bring presnts for birthday parties. in your shoes i woul dbring the boy a present as others will. tehy always do.

coldcupoftea Tue 13-Nov-12 18:12:34

When someone says no presents I always take that to mean 'no plastic crap please' so I get a small present of something that will get used up iyswim, eg a sticker book, some novelty bath foam, chocolate, an activity book or crafty set.

But no I wouldn't think you were grabby to invite the whole class!

BeatTheClock Tue 13-Nov-12 18:14:24

No presents for a party?? Sorry but I'll give a present if I want to. I can't be doing with all this competetive worthiness re kids birthdayshmm. My dc like to give a birthday present. Also it's implying that whatever you give will not be good enough.

She can ask for no presents when its her birthday.

JudeFawley Tue 13-Nov-12 18:15:44

I would put £10 inside his card.

Job done.

Inertia Tue 13-Nov-12 18:37:39

Maybe they don't have room for loads of toys - could you get a voucher or book token instead ?

thebody Tue 13-Nov-12 18:51:04

She sounds like a bloody daft loon.

Hope she doesn't get any presents either on her birthday.

Hope your dd gets loads.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Tue 13-Nov-12 19:09:21

You are waaaay over thinking this

Most people will give a present regardless of the text. Give a book or a book token/voucher in case she sent the text to try to avoid to much plastic stuff. You can never have too many books.

midseasonsale Tue 13-Nov-12 19:30:16

book token?

rogersmellyonthetelly Tue 13-Nov-12 20:50:55

Giving a gift list with the invite is grabby. Not mentioning gifts/asking for no one to bring gifts is fine (but a bit shit for the child IMO but I'm sure there is a valid reason)

freddiefrog Tue 13-Nov-12 20:55:58

It never occur to me to have whole class parties to get more presents. I wouldn't think it was grabby.

Both my girls had big, whole class parties for their birthdays in Reception class, then smaller parties as they made closer friends as they've gone through school.

We hired a hall, had an entertainer and just got on with it without much more thought than what to put in the sandwiches

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