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Not to give my 3.5 yr old a snack?

(77 Posts)
NoNoNoMYDoIt Tue 13-Nov-12 10:24:48

She is crying and whingeing that she is hungry. She is a nightmare at breakfast time and eats very little. I am sick of it because then I end up giving her a snack at 10 and then she doesn't want lunch at 1140 (has to be then as nursery at 1245). Then she cries she is hungry after school so another snack and then she won't eat tea.

So AIBU not to give her a snack now even tho she ate no bfast and is going to cry for the next hour and 20 mins that she is hungry?

Distracting her isn't working. So if I ABU can someone tell me wtf to do with her for the next while? I have tried arts / reading / telly. Nothing is working!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 13-Nov-12 10:27:15

I'd give her a snack now and then a smaller lunch, she is too wee to go right through til lunch without anything and she maybe isn't very hungry when she first gets up.

Nancy66 Tue 13-Nov-12 10:27:39

I'd just give her the snack and enjoy the peace.

SavoyCabbage Tue 13-Nov-12 10:29:19

No I don't think yabu. I would wait 20 minutes, tell her it's lunchtime and give her her lunch. She won't know it's early so she won't have 'won'. Then remind her tomorrow to eat her breakfast so she's not hungry 'like you were yesterday'.

goingupinsmoke Tue 13-Nov-12 10:29:33

snack but just make it light like an apple.

squeakytoy Tue 13-Nov-12 10:29:42

She is a child, she is hungry now, give her something to eat!

I am not hungry immediately on waking, neither are plenty of others.. but a couple of hours later I will be ready for food.

Give her what she would have had for her breakfast.

You sound like you are tying to run her eating to your clock, which is never going to work.

ClutchingPearls Tue 13-Nov-12 10:30:32

Feed the child. You can't let her cry for food.

Have you tried waiting a while after she wakes to give her breakfast? My DD2 needs about 1/2hour before she thinks about food, if you feed her before she'll just sit and stare at it and won't eat it.

StepfordWannabe Tue 13-Nov-12 10:31:18

3 year olds are grazers - they don't do the whole three main meals in a day. My daughter (3 next month) eats around 5 quite small meals a day - cereal/porridge at 7, fruit/cheese/yoghurt etc at 10, dinner at 12.15, little sandwich/soup etc at 3ish and then a supper at 5.45 ish. Snacks don't have to be junk food - I regard them as a mini meal

NoNoNoMYDoIt Tue 13-Nov-12 10:32:14

Thanks. I usually give her a snack but after one snack she whines for more and more and then she won't eat lunch.

I will hold out and give her lunch in an hour

If she ate some breakfast I wouldn't mind her having a snack but she refuses everything and then expects snacks all morning. I have simply had enough of it. It spoils every morning because there is so much whingeing about food.

Imnotaslimjim Tue 13-Nov-12 10:33:08

I think YABU, its unfair to make her wait. She doesn't understand, she just understands that shes hungry now. Whats wrong with eating little and often? Shes still only little herself

Raspberrysorbet Tue 13-Nov-12 10:34:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoNoNoMYDoIt Tue 13-Nov-12 10:38:03

She gets up at 6.30 and we have to leave at 8.30 for the school run for her brother. I have to get her to have bfast by 8.15 to allow for teeth brushing. She won't. I have tried offering her bfast when she gets back from school at 9 but she won't eat it then. She wants it at 10. But because of afternoon nursery she has to have lunch at 11.40. If I let her eat anything at 10 she wants more and cries for more until she gets it. Then she won't eat lunch. Then after nursery she is starving and wants more food then. We have after school activities for her brother so tea isn't until 5 when we get back. I can't give her tea immediately she comes out of school.

I honestly wouldn't mind her having snacks if it meant she ate meals. But she eats snacks instead of meals and I am not having that

It also ruins every day anyway even as it is with all the whining for snacks all day. If she was happy with just snacks then maybe that would be ok. But she just doesn't stop whining and I am frankly sick of it

Should I just give her the snacks then? By snacks I am talking fruit / breadsticks and after school a cereal bar. So not junk.

Mrsjay Tue 13-Nov-12 10:40:24

maybe dont offer her breakfast first thing give her a drink and maybe give her breakfast a little later, I wouldn't be handing out snacks all morning but she is maybe a grazer I had 1 of those she wouldnt eat loads but would eat little and often, tell her to stop whinging though she won't starve offer her some fruit and a drink and say thats her lot til lunchtime,

NoNoNoMYDoIt Tue 13-Nov-12 10:40:49

To those of you who say give her a snack - what about the fact that she then won't eat her meal? And one snack results in continuous whining for more snacks and still wrecks the morning?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 13-Nov-12 10:41:42

can you give her a huge snack at 10/1030 like an early lunch?

Raspberrysorbet Tue 13-Nov-12 10:41:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Could you give her a breadstick or some fruit before the school run, let her have her breakfast nearer to 10am, and then give her her lunch at your usual time? As others have said, toddlers can be grazers - and as long as she is getting the right amount of food over the course of the day, it doesn't matter if it is spread into several small meals or three larger ones.

Obviously you don't want to be giving her a snack every twenty minutes, but there is a compromise to be had, and if it makes your life a little more peaceful, then I would go for it, and gradually ease towards the three-meals-a-day pattern as she gets older.

Mrsjay Tue 13-Nov-12 10:42:43

I would tell her to shush tbh I wouldn't put up with whinging all day id ignore her she really wont starve is she maybe bored tell her to go and do something then she can have lunch before nursery how long has she been like this OP ?

redskyatnight Tue 13-Nov-12 10:42:52

Why not offer her meal food as snacks? So if she wants something at 10, she can have a cheese sandwich? Or a piece of toast? Then you can give her a yogurt and some fruit before she goes to nursery and she's had her lunch (but spread through the morning).

squeakytoy Tue 13-Nov-12 10:44:42

blimey.. I cant see the issue here.. let her eat at 10 and forget the lunch... it really isnt all that important what time she eats so long as she does eat!

NoNoNoMYDoIt Tue 13-Nov-12 10:45:13

She doesn't want anything to eat at all until 10am but that is then too late because of nursery. And on a Monday we have a swimming lesson at 1015 and she flakes half way through it as she is too hungry which is also really annoying. If she would just eat some sodding breakfast then she would get through the lesson. She absolutely loves swimming and swims unaided. But the experience is wrecked because she is too hungry.

On a Monday I give her lunch at 11 when she gets out of the pool. And on a Monday evening she has a flask of dinner while we wait for her brother to do athletics and she eats that at 4.30pm. But there is an hour of whingeing from school pick up until 4.30 about being hungry.

She is at day nursery weds through fri so it is then their problem. I expect she has a small snack mid morning and an early lunch but is distracted so whinges less.

Weekends are not as bad because we can have a later lunch. It is the 1140 lunch that is the problem during the week.

NoNoNoMYDoIt Tue 13-Nov-12 10:49:35

She is also a fussy eater. She won't eat sandwiches or anything bread based. She will however eat full cooked meals. So what she eats is healthy but it isn't easy to pack something for her (hence a flask of hot food at athletics).

I think her preference would be for a cooked lunch at 10am! But that can't be done on a Monday and if I give her that at 10 I have the same problem after school

She is flopping in the hallway whining and snivelling. I feel so mean but this has been going on for probably 2 years now and I think I have reached the end of my tether with it

Whilst it is better at weekends it still isn't great. She doesn't actually eat breakfast so we still have whining for food all day. And when we are away on holiday / out for the day it pisses me right off! I am probably a terribly impatient mother but I am sick of it now

Mrsjay Tue 13-Nov-12 10:49:35

id give her breakfast at 10 then maybe something before she goes to nursery then she will have a snack at nursery then maybe have something for when she comes out, offer drinks instead, Tbh she sounds like a winger I had 1 not about food but about juice, she once said she may have to have a lie down because she was SOOOOOOO thirsty , It is hard but try and distract the winging, and be a bit more relaxed about lunch times, you are both stuck int he cycle of i am hungry /wait/ no/ then she wails

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 13-Nov-12 10:53:57

I would give her food when she is hungry. Don't worry too much about her eating at the 'right' time at this age. By the age of 6 or so they fall into proper eating patterns IME and eat a reasonable amount of food in one sitting.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar Tue 13-Nov-12 10:58:34

Gosh I remember this; used to drive me nuts as ds would be an utter grump if he didn't have breakfast. I was known to chase him around the kitchen with a spoon of honey grin

Would she just have a biscuit or a little yoghurt as a breakfast, and something more substantial as a 10:00 snack? Or perhaps a sandwich on the school run (ds had cheese sandwiches for breakfast for ages )?

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