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AIBU to expect DM NOT to buy DD 'personalised' things with her name spelt incorrectly!?

(167 Posts)
therewearethen Mon 12-Nov-12 19:34:24

I'm pregnant and hormonal so don't really care if I sound ungrateful but DD is 4.9 and has leant to spell her first name and is having a good go at her surname.

She has just started in a new school, has been there a week and they sent a homework book home on Fri on which they spelt her name incorrectly, so I took the label off and replaced it.

DM turned up with a random present for DD today on which has her 'name' but it's spelt incorrectly. It's not the first time this has happened. I mentioned the homework book to DM who told me I must tell the school of their mistake which I thought was a bit hypocritical given 2 seconds previously she'd done the same thing!

Don't wish to out myself but we're talking calling a child hollie but deciding to spell it holly. IYSWIM, DD's is slightly different to this and I've never seen anything with our spelling on it but that's partly why we chose an alternative.

So AIBU in not wanting these personalised gifts that are in fact not at all personalised with the right name!?

MrsWolowitz Mon 12-Nov-12 19:36:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ Mon 12-Nov-12 19:41:51

YANBU, it would drive me mad!!

Jins Mon 12-Nov-12 19:41:59

YANBU

Every year DS1 gets something personalised with the wrong spelling from MIL. There are two spellings of his name and she prefers the alternative which is actually less common.

He's a lot older than your dd but it started around the same age. He feels hurt by it. He feels his grandmother should know how to spell his name. We have had words but we have been told that our spelling is wrong. What do we do? We laugh and chuck it away.

Sirzy Mon 12-Nov-12 19:44:33

She is trying to be nice but is probably making a not so subtle dig about the unusual spelling.

With regards to the school book, if you have used a less common spelling of a common name get used to that - i bet plenty of the christmas and birthday cards she gets from school will have the common spelling on.

Annunziata Mon 12-Nov-12 19:49:08

You really can't complain if you deliberately chose an unusual spelling though. At least she is buying gifts.

MuddlingMackem Mon 12-Nov-12 19:50:30

YANBU. It's damned annoying when a child's name is spelled incorrectly.

We have this problem with DD; people keep putting in a hyphen and/or missing off the 'e'. It's driven me nuts since she was born, but now she's 6 it really bugs her too, especially if anyone at school gets it wrong.

squeakytoy Mon 12-Nov-12 19:50:54

Is your daughters name spelled in a "quirky" way to the norm?

If so then it would be hard to get personalised stuff and your MIL is probably doing her best, and it was a kind gesture, so YABU.

Moominsarescary Mon 12-Nov-12 19:52:42

Ds2 has this at school, people add an e to his name. He's older so just tells them it's wrong. However family members should make the effort to spell it correctly so yanbu.

ISeeSmallPeople Mon 12-Nov-12 19:53:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bitsofmeworkjustfine Mon 12-Nov-12 19:53:52

my dd always gets her name spelled incorrectly by the school... once on a spelling book!

to teach my DD her surname which has 10 characters, we had to write a song.

its VERY annoying,

TheMonster Mon 12-Nov-12 19:53:57

But Holly is the correct spelling. Hollie is the incorrect way used by people trying to be different. If you have chosen an incorrect unusual spelling for your child's name then you have to get used to people spelling it correctly differently.

mrskeithrichards Mon 12-Nov-12 19:54:15

It's going to happen any time there's 2 or more spellings of a name and the chance you take when you pick one.

Moominsarescary Mon 12-Nov-12 19:55:28

It shouldn't happen with close family members

YBR Mon 12-Nov-12 19:56:04

I expect we'll get this in years to come. DD will be 1 in a couple of weeks so it hasn't happened yet. Her name is a very unusual spelling of a name that is otherwise not unusual, IYSWIM.

I would (will?) be gently telling persistent offenders that there is no need for gifts to be personalized, that we know it's practically impossible to find gifts with the right spelling, and that we'd rather see it without a name than spelt incorrectly.

Scroobius Mon 12-Nov-12 19:56:16

My grandma has never spelt my name right and since its quite a common and easy to spell name (Sarah) we always just thought it was funny. She did try though as every card I ever got from her had 3 attempts crossed out before she finally settled on Sarha... Don't think my mum ever got upset and I definitely didn't it was just what grandma did.
However since you're pregnant and hormonal and I know how that feels you're NBU.

Annunziata Mon 12-Nov-12 19:56:40

It's not like the gran is deliberately spelling her name wrong. She saw a mug or pencil case or whatever, couldn't get the spelling the OP picked, so got the nearest one. I can't see a problem.

mrskeithrichards Mon 12-Nov-12 19:58:41

Realistically how often do other family members have to spell your child's name though?

ClippedPhoenix Mon 12-Nov-12 19:59:16

Well my son has a Welsh name and blimey, it makes me laugh as he's called Rice A LOT! It's now a standing joke and I call him it, just chill OP.

crazygracieuk Mon 12-Nov-12 19:59:19

Yanbu.
I wrote an invitation for a Louie but spelt it Louis. When ds handed it to him the boy gave a big sigh and said not to worry because everyone spells hid name like that. [so embarrassed]
Your mil should know better than to make the same mistake.

ClutchingPearls Mon 12-Nov-12 19:59:39

My friends MIL fails to spell her DD commonly spelt name incorrectly, constantly.

She has taken to calling MIL, to her face and in writing, Cheryl. That is not even close to MIL name but she seems to respond to it.

Bunbaker Mon 12-Nov-12 20:00:03

Unfortunately if you deliberately choose to give a commonplace name an alternative spelling this is bound to happen.

I have an unusual name and as a child felt left out because I could never have anything with my name on.

ginmakesitallok Mon 12-Nov-12 20:03:03

it is bloody annoying - the gift isn't personalised, it NOT their name! My DDs have relatively unusual first names, and a very unusual surname. DD1 has gotten quite resigned to people spelling her surname wrong "It's ok Mum2 she says "they got all the right letters - just not in the right order"

Flisspaps Mon 12-Nov-12 20:03:36

Personally, even if your child is called Dave and spells it 'ukcrubojjdy' I'd expect a Grandparent and school to get it right (teachers can label books using class lists!)

birdofthenorth Mon 12-Nov-12 20:03:49

I have a name commonly spelt in several different ways (not quirky or incorrect ways -think Isobel/ Isabelle etc) and as a child I found it highly irritating to receive "personalised" stuff spelt the other way and therefore not at all personal to me. So YANBU from me, unless your DD is actually called Rohseeee instead of Rosie, or similar!

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