It's never too early for a Christmas AIBU, is it? I'm in a dilemma here and thought it best to throw myself on the mercy an impartial internet.
My parents live abroad but we still were very close until we had a bad falling out several years ago. I haven't seen them since though we are in regular (if a bit tense) contact.
Last year my due date for my second child was quite literally Christmas. I was terribly unwell in the run up to the birth (volcanic heartburn, debilitating depression and chronic insomina, among other things). Things were even tenser with my parents because they were declining my invitation to come visit the baby after he was born (that's a whole other story). I just about managed to buy gifts to celebrate with my husband and 4 year old daughter, but that was it. As usual my mum ordered some things from Amazon for my daughter, which was appreciated.
My son was born a week late and after returning home from an epic 36 hour labour and delivery, I had an email from my mum asking where was their Christmas present from my daughter as they hadn't had anything from her. I explained as nicely as I could that under the circumstances I just hadn't managed presents for anyone abroad this year (which included my brother and my niece).
They didn't send a card or a present for the baby.
Fast forward to this year- and my mum is asking me what would I like to do about exchanging gifts this year? My response would be that honestly, we adults in this house truly have enough stuff and don't need any more at this point- but it would be lovely if she wanted to send a little something to her grandchildren.
Her response was that she's happy to send them something- as long as she gets something from them in return so as to "avoid the disappointment of last year". She does recognise however that a 5 year and 1 year old aren't really in a position to buy pressies themselves so it would be from me. She also said she would be really sad not to carry on a tradition of family gift giving.
What do I do about this? I'm kind of bewildered that Christmas gift giving has suddenly become subject to this sort of negotiation and quid pro quo approach. We're talking about a little pressie for two little kids who would be over the moon with just about anything- is it really necessary that she gets something herself in order for that to happen? Are we going to start rating presents received in terms of appropriate equivalency? I don't know why but it just feels sad and wrong and a bit of a mine field going forward.
What say you, Mumsnet?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to think my very young children shouldn't be expected to buy Christmas presents
115 replies
PaythePiper · 12/11/2012 14:03
OP posts:
Newsletters you might like
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.