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To think that this woman should have at least said sorry and offered to pay for broken item.

(81 Posts)
Fakebook Mon 12-Nov-12 13:45:57

Was in Tesco this morning and looking at their Tupperware because dd loses the lids in school almost everyday. Anyway suddenly there was a massive crash. I looked to the right and a little boy had thrown 3 ceramic bowls on the floor and they had all broken to smithereens. His mother exclaimed "oh noo" and stood and stared at the mess. A customer assistant came and began picking up the mess and then another came and began sweeping.

During this time, the woman didn't even say sorry and calmly carried on browsing with her son lingering behind her like nothing had happened.

AIBU to think she should have apologised profusely and then offered to pay for the bowls that her little angel had just broken? She didn't even tell him off! If my dd had done that I would have done a proper kneeling down, eye contact, stern voice telling off super nanny stylee!

adeucalione Tue 13-Nov-12 11:02:12

I don't really see how there is anything to debate here.

Even if the bowls were broken accidentally, by a child with co-ordination difficulties, at the end of a hellish day, then the accompanying adult - no matter how poor, embarrassed or stressed - should have said 'sorry' and 'thank you for clearing this up'.

Even if the OP didn't see what happened immediately prior to the crash, she saw what happened straight afterwards and the woman's response does seem unusual and rude.

Amazing that several posters think that you don't have to apologise if you are embarrassed about something, don't have to offer to pay for breakages if you are in a large store, and don't have to correct a young child's behaviour immediately after they do something that you (presumably) don't want them to do again.

The only way that OP would BU is if the bowls fell to the floor independently of anyone touching them, but as she saw the immediate response of the woman and the child, she is presumably able to judge that they were to blame; the only time that a display spontaneously collapsed as DH and I walked by we looked shocked, burst out laughing and told everyone in the vicinity that it wasn't us.

Fakebook - this says it all, for me:

"Even if you knock something off by accident, a simple "sorry" doesn't cost money."

In my opinion, there is NO excuse for bad manners - and not apologising was bad manners.

SoupDragon Tue 13-Nov-12 10:44:57

Guilty until proved innocent has become law perhaps?

You do get that this is just an internet forum, you know where people just chat? The Op didn't march up to the woman and lay into her, nor did she frog march her off to the police station or put up a "wanted" poster all round town.

I am more than happy to judge her for not apologising though - that's just plain rude.

Hopeforever Tue 13-Nov-12 10:38:37

saintlyjimjams so glad I am not alone in not wanting to jump straight into judging what is not proven.

Guilty until proved innocent has become law perhaps?

ontheedgeofwhatever Tue 13-Nov-12 09:28:36

DD broke a mug in Starbucks once (one of the ones on shelf for sale not one they served coffee in). I'm afraid it was at the end of a very exhausting shopping trip during which she'd played up as much as possible and to my eternal shame I really screamed and shouted at her and she burst into floods of tears.

I apologised to staff and made her apologise too but they were lovely. They cleaned everything up and gave her a lollipop and some marshmallows I think they felt sorry for her having such a horrid mummy blush they refused to let me pay for it either.

YANBU at the very least she should have been apologetic

saintlyjimjams Tue 13-Nov-12 09:15:26

I'd be more likely to be aghast if the OP actually saw what happened tbh. I tend to avoid judging anyone tbh unless the facts are very clear as I so often get judged by the daft and judgemental half looking when out with ds1. It's given me an aversion to making assumptions. Without seeing exactly what went on (which the OP clearly didn't) you can't tell whether the mother behaved reasonably or not. I do tend to get irritated by assumptions.

I wound have thanked whoever cleared it up, and found someone to call the cleaning staff if no-one appeared. That's it. I wouldn't necessarily have told my child off - depends how the bowls ended up on the floor.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Tue 13-Nov-12 08:54:08

Maybe she did not tell the child off because it wasnt actually the child causing the mess!?

It could have been the mother accidentally breaking them, if you did not see, you would not know. Bowls are not usually placed low down on shelves, they are in adult browsing view?

On a side note, when my 21 month old ran away from me in a shop, and the staff instantly matched lost child with bewildered mum, it would be ridiculous to shout racism, even if we were both blond, in a Bangalore mall. It is just kind of obvious.

dysfunctionalme Tue 13-Nov-12 08:45:08

I think there was a time when people worried about manners in shops but that has long past. These days you're lucky if the customers don't piss in the aisles.

VoiceofUnreason Tue 13-Nov-12 08:40:10

oops, I meant YANBU

GwendolineMaryLacey Tue 13-Nov-12 08:34:59

You weren't in my local Tescos were you (SW London)? There was an almighty crash in the next aisle to me which would have been kitchenware while I was looking at pillows or summat. Didn't see what the fuss was about though.

VoiceofUnreason Tue 13-Nov-12 08:32:06

The facts seem to be unclear in this specific case. But generally, YABU, if a child breaks something a parent should a) apologise and b) offer to pay. It's just fair play and basic manners, surely? If the company say "no, no, don't worry, these things happen, you don't need to pay" then that's great. But the offer should be made.

Fakebook Tue 13-Nov-12 08:28:55

No I'm not a racist. I'm in an ethnic minority. I've grown up surrounded by Chinese, Pakistani, Indian, Nepalese, African, English and Polish people. The race of the mother and child wasn't mentioned in the OP because it wasn't relevant. What a ridiculous thing to suggest.

The bowls were deep red coloured with white flowery patterns (I think). They were definitely red.

Even if you knock something off by accident, a simple "sorry" doesn't cost money.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 13-Nov-12 08:14:16

They could possibly not have had good English.

jamdonut Tue 13-Nov-12 08:11:44

Don't you all know that Tesco's is having a bad time financially at the moment. Their shares are down, profit is down,they're cutting staff and staff hours left right and centre, of course she should have insisted she pay..... [sarcastic emoticon]

They don't usually make people pay...but an apology wouldn't go amiss. I am married to a Tesco employee who has to take the brunt of people's rudeness,daily. Just because you work in Tesco, doesn't automatically make you a dimwit, though many people seem to think so.

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Tue 13-Nov-12 08:06:31

Oh FFS OP get over yourself. Are you sure you're not a thinly-disguised racist? The most obvious and likely reason for the woman not saying anything would be that she was so utterly mortified she didn't know what to say, and was therefore desperately trying to pretend it hadn't happened.

Also, the fact that you are insisting the child broke the bowls deliberately when you didn't see what happened makes you sound fairly spiteful and quick to jump to conclusions.

RustyBear Tue 13-Nov-12 08:05:17

Were they the small deep white ceramic bowls?

valiumredhead Tue 13-Nov-12 07:59:32

Offer to pay Tescos ? You must be kidding!!

ThatBastardSanta Tue 13-Nov-12 07:57:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flow4 Tue 13-Nov-12 07:50:03

Although actually, the OP said she turned round to look after the crash, so we don't actually know that the child broke them...

SoupDragon Tue 13-Nov-12 07:25:04

Presumably, JimJams, you didn't apologise as you didn't break them. Unlike the bowls in the OP.

SoupDragon Tue 13-Nov-12 07:22:57

Or just train your DS not to lose the lids. Then you wouldn't have to send hundreds of sandwich bags to landfill.

saintlyjimjams Mon 12-Nov-12 23:31:29

Just a sidenote, rather than buying a new Tupperware box everyday (it must cost you £500-1000 a year!) Just buy a lunchbox

Yes, or sandwich bags?

saintlyjimjams Mon 12-Nov-12 23:30:07

Fakebook there is a difference between the boy throwing them off the shelf and them accidentally being knocked off though? And you don't which it was? It might rather later someone's reaction. I walked past some toothbrushes the other day and they ended up on the floor. No idea how as I didn't touch them, they must have been very unstable. I picked them up, and might have said whoops, but didn't apologise.

Scheherezade Mon 12-Nov-12 22:40:36

Just a sidenote, rather than buying a new Tupperware box everyday (it must cost you £500-1000 a year!) Just buy a lunchbox.

fuckwittery Mon 12-Nov-12 22:01:43

Yes, definitely should have apologised, no excuse for lack of manners, but offering to pay may not have been an option.

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