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To think that this woman should have at least said sorry and offered to pay for broken item.

(81 Posts)
Fakebook Mon 12-Nov-12 13:45:57

Was in Tesco this morning and looking at their Tupperware because dd loses the lids in school almost everyday. Anyway suddenly there was a massive crash. I looked to the right and a little boy had thrown 3 ceramic bowls on the floor and they had all broken to smithereens. His mother exclaimed "oh noo" and stood and stared at the mess. A customer assistant came and began picking up the mess and then another came and began sweeping.

During this time, the woman didn't even say sorry and calmly carried on browsing with her son lingering behind her like nothing had happened.

AIBU to think she should have apologised profusely and then offered to pay for the bowls that her little angel had just broken? She didn't even tell him off! If my dd had done that I would have done a proper kneeling down, eye contact, stern voice telling off super nanny stylee!

saintlyjimjams Mon 12-Nov-12 14:50:29

How do you know he'd thrown them btw? Rather than knocked them?

adeucalione Mon 12-Nov-12 14:52:56

I'm surprised at how many people don't think she should've offered to pay - I would've offered, even if I fully expected them to say that it wasn't necessary.

If you break something that isn't yours, you offer to pay for it, that's just good manners.

Everlong Mon 12-Nov-12 14:56:18

My dh broke a teapot in tkmaxx the other week. He lifted the box and it just fell out. Ds aged 6 was hysterical laughing. As we always tell him not to pick things up in case they smash/break.

Dh was [shocked] and offered to pay for it. They said no way it's fine.

Justforlaughs Mon 12-Nov-12 14:57:46

YANBU, I would have had a word with my child about not touching, being careful or whatever (we don't know whether it was an accident or not), she should have offered to pay for teh damage despite the fact that Tesco would have refused the offer. However my biggest problem with this story is the total unacknowledgement of the staff who were clearing up the mess created by this child. As a supermarket staff member myself I would like to point out that we are human and do deserve some recognition of what we do. We work unsociable hours so people can shop at soetimes the most absurd times for very little pay, we have to put up with a few very rude and abusive customers who think they are entitled to treat us like s* and if your child causes this kind of insident, whether deliberate or not, it's only common courtesy to apologise.

Hopeforever Mon 12-Nov-12 15:45:16

saintlyjimjams we don't seem to have been given the answer to how the OP knows in what manner he broke them.

At no point did I say it would not be a good idea to apologise or ask the the child to say sorry.

All I'm saying is, we only have one version of the events. I've learnt how painful it can be to have judgy pants pulled up too far and discover afterwards that I wasn't in possession of the full facts.

Jus saying.

BTW dyspraxia is not an illness.

FreePeaceSweet Mon 12-Nov-12 15:56:58

If my very young child had broken something, I'd have apologised to the staff, and spoken to my child in the car/at home. I'm not a fan of show-piece discipline.
This ^

I don't tell my kids off for the benefit of onlookers. Its cringy. I deal with them in private.

DreamingOfTheMaldives Mon 12-Nov-12 16:06:17

"Do you know the full medical history of the boy, does he have dyspraxia? Is the mum struggling with PND, perhaps her mum is really ill in hospital and she is trying really hard not to get stressed as her Cognitive Behavior Therapist has taught her to cope."

Do any of the above prevent someone from apologising when they or their child has broken something which didn't belong to them.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Mon 12-Nov-12 16:38:07

I'm surprised at how many people are saying that she shouldn't have offered to pay.

Not offering to pay for damage you or your children have cursed is just blatantly rude, even if you fully expect to be told not to worry about it. It's very sad that so many people don't see that they should take responsibility for themselves.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Mon 12-Nov-12 16:39:27

Telling a child off in a shop when they have been badly behaved in a shop is not telling them off for the benefit of onlookers hmm

It's just telling them off at the time they have misbehaved, so that they can fully understand that their actions have consequences.

Hopeforever Mon 12-Nov-12 16:44:12

We DO NOT know how they came to be broken, the OP tells us she turned round AFTER she heard the noise. She did not see it happen, she just saw the young boy next to them

quirrelquarrel Mon 12-Nov-12 16:45:35

Maybe she was flustered and thought she'd already said sorry in all the confusion?

LRDtheFeministDragon Mon 12-Nov-12 16:46:17

How bizarre. This is going to sound stupid, but are you sure it was his mum?

I was in the street the other day and someone gave this poor woman a really nasty snap about letting her child stand in the way ... the women replied 'erm, he's not mine!' and mum (real mum) came dashing out the shop to grab errant toddler.

I expect you do know she was the mum, it just seems so odd you'd be calmly standing browsing to the sound of smashing bowls.

Fakebook Mon 12-Nov-12 16:49:32

Right Hope hmm. We don't know how they broke. They could have miraculously flung themselves off the shelf and fell at the boys feet, who was (weirdly) standing right next to the shelf and looking down at them bowls. Alternatively, I may just be lying and making the whole thing up for cheap jollies hmm.

Fakebook Mon 12-Nov-12 16:51:30

LRD, nope was definitely her son. They were both Asian, most probably Bangladeshi, not that their race matters, just that the boy definitely belonged to her!

LRDtheFeministDragon Mon 12-Nov-12 16:53:59

Ok, I'm not going to joke that there are more than one Bangladeshi family in the UK but that did make me smile! But yes, I'm sure you could tell ... it just seems so odd.

I keep thinking why she'd do it but nothing really covers it, does it?

quirrelquarrel Mon 12-Nov-12 16:54:15

Anyway, this is a non-issue. Of course you apologise and offer to pay afterwards. If everyone smashed bowls, yes, Tesco would suffer a loss OR they'd adjust the prices in the end so we'd all have to pay.

SoupDragon Mon 12-Nov-12 16:55:51

Regardless of any SNs, she should have apologised. It is basic good manners.

Anything else kind of depends on the situation wrt the child but I would have told mine off or at least reinforced that they should be careful.

Fakebook Mon 12-Nov-12 16:56:12

Sorry yes that was a bit of a stupid comment, I should have added that the boy was following her so was definitely her son.

LRDtheFeministDragon Mon 12-Nov-12 16:57:45

Oh, no, I was only teasing!

I do agree with you, I'd have been utterly confused as to what she was playing at.

Hopeforever Mon 12-Nov-12 16:59:15

Ok, so she is not a child minder, it's not her nephew and of course she speaks perfect English (which she may well do)

How do you know he didn't do it by accident, they were not already unstable?

If she stayed put to look at the shelves, how long did you stay to watch? If she left before you, perhaps she went to the customer service to apologise. Perhaps if you left first, after obviously staying a while as you watched them get the equipment to clear it up and then start cleaning, she spoke to them afterwards.

flow4 Mon 12-Nov-12 17:03:47

It seems so odd that the woman didn't apologise or seem concerned that it makes me wonder whether the OP has mis-interpreted the situation... Maybe...

- The child wasn't hers?
- She was waiting for the spectators to move on before apologising/telling off the child?
- She's seriously depressed and not functioning well generally?
- She knocked the bowls down?!

fuckwittery Mon 12-Nov-12 17:05:20

Maybe she's broke and paying for those three bowls would mean they couldn't eat properly that week.

flow4 Mon 12-Nov-12 17:12:33

Oh and now I'm remembering (years ago) a pile of tins falling down beside me and DStoddler, when we had not touched them .... Oh the dirty looks! blush angry

Hopeforever Mon 12-Nov-12 17:15:18

flow4 how blush

Cahoots Mon 12-Nov-12 17:16:23

She sounds like a loon. I know they would not have let her pay but it would have been polite to offer.

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