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revoked invitation

(21 Posts)
firsttimekat Mon 12-Nov-12 11:57:22

AIBU to think that once you have been invited to something you don't expect to end up uninvited?

My sister invited me and DH to her graduation and I know there are limited tickets but she said she had enough. DH and I have already booked time off work, made travel arrangements and booked a hotel for the night. Now we find we 'have not made the cut'. I can't believe that you invite people and then change your mind! At least we know where we fit in her order of invitees and clearly it wasn't in the top 5!

Scholes34 Mon 12-Nov-12 11:59:27

You can still go along on the day. The tickets will be for the (very short) graduation ceremony, but you'll be able to join in the other celebrations on the day.

SmellyFartado Mon 12-Nov-12 12:00:03

Does sound a bit rude - have you had a falling out for her to say this?

CajaDeLaMemoria Mon 12-Nov-12 12:04:00

I've been to a few graduations this year. They are an utter mess, organisationally.

OH was told he could have 2 tickets to start. He then applied for four more and was given them - physically had the tickets. Two weeks before, they emailed everyone to say that these extra four everyone had would be confirmed within 24 hours - needless to say only a few people actually got 4 extra, and most people had useless extra tickets.

You may be able to go along afterwards, depending on the plan. Two of the ones I went to moved somewhere public after so that more people could attend - the rest had champagne/photographs/food/meetings at the universities, and you needed tickets to get into that too.

I suppose it's slightly different if your sister got five, because that's quite a lot in the first place - and if she's had to cut down on invitees or if she's reallocated the tickets this late - if that's the case it's very rude!

perceptionreality Mon 12-Nov-12 12:04:04

That's horrible. Does she usually mess people about like this with no conscience or thought for their feelings?

CajaDeLaMemoria Mon 12-Nov-12 12:04:55

Oh - with regards to very short ceremonies - I wish! I didn't go to one that was under 2.5 hours long. They ramble on about all sorts before handing out the certificates.

firsttimekat Mon 12-Nov-12 12:20:49

It isn't actually a uni graduation, but thought that was the most similar thing. Not able to go at all if you don't have a ticket. Plus its a 4hr drive away so not sure we'd go if we couldn't see the actual thing.

She can mess people around, doesn't often give people much notice about what she will be doing etc. There have been other things recently like she didn't buy DH and I a wedding present (not even a card), I'm not saying it has to be expensive, but its the thought that counts. I recently got promoted at work - obviously important for me and she just had a go at me about how much I'm being paid, not even a congratulations.

rogersmellyonthetelly Mon 12-Nov-12 12:35:38

She may have been told that she could bring x amount of people, then been told at a later date that only 2 guests allowed or something.

DeWe Mon 12-Nov-12 12:42:50

She may have not realised there was a limit to number of people. That happened to a friend. She invited me, assuming all could come as nothing had been sent, then a week before the ceremony received 3 tickets by post with a letter saying "no entry except with a ticket". She came very embarrassed to say she hadn't realised there was a limit, which was fine, I knew her family took priority over me.
I waited for her outside with flowers and a present.

CremeEggThief Mon 12-Nov-12 12:50:52

She sounds selfish and unpleasant. I wouldn't be happy with her either, if I were you.

FatimaLovesBread Mon 12-Nov-12 12:56:37

Sounds like there's more than just the revoked invites.
She doesn't sound all that pleasant in your most recent examples. Is she younger or older? Jealous?

expatinscotland Mon 12-Nov-12 12:56:38

She sounds quite thoughtless. Will the rest of the family be there and celebrations afterwards?

Jenny70 Mon 12-Nov-12 13:08:30

think positive, the ceremony would be boring, sister would be "it's all about meeeee" all day, and generally not a fun day out.

But now you and DH have a day booked off work, no 4hr drive etc (not sure whether accom can be refunded)... make the most of it. Leisurely breakfast somewhere nice, wander into town to do christmas window shopping (ie. drop hints for DH), or go for walk in wilderness while noone else around, or do galleries, museum something that you don't normally get to.

Don't go to work, take the day as a couple day and send your sister a card - sorted.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar Mon 12-Nov-12 14:33:15

She probably didn't realise quite how limited tockets are at these things; my graduation was at a huge venue and yest we could only bring two guests each.

One person had very special dispensation to bring a third, but she her circumstances were very unusual.

Besides you don't really "invite" people to your graduation in the way one might to a party or a wedding. Were you a little quick off the mark in booking leave/a hotel?

stinkinseamonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 14:36:35

graduations are like this, DH thought he could invite family and could request whatever number that was, then it was strictly 4 tickets per person so he had to cut down the list, then on the day people turned up with whole extended families and got in hmm

I don't think its your sister's fault form experience

DontmindifIdo Mon 12-Nov-12 14:37:46

Oh god Graduation Ceremonies are dull it's like speach day at school but it goes on for hours .

It could easily be she thought she could get tickets for everyone but now she can't. That's not really her fault.

Can you cancel your time off and get anything back from the hotel?

stinkinseamonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 14:39:36

and there were powerpoint presentations at mine! LONG ones!

go, enjoy the day in different town, then meet them for a nice celebratory dinner afterwards

ENormaSnob Mon 12-Nov-12 15:25:21

Lucky escape IMO.

They are sooooo long and boring.

I could barely stay awake through my own.

FolkGhoul Mon 12-Nov-12 15:27:48

It sounds like she was a bit over excited and said "you'll all have to come!" only to find out that it wasn't that simple and that there are number restrictions on tickets.

If, however, as you say she has form for this sort of thing, why did you book a hotel before having confirmation.

And graduation ceremonies are something to be endured, not enjoyed!!

E320 Mon 12-Nov-12 15:33:28

When I graduated it was quite clear that I only got 2 tickets to the ceremony. This was in 1981. I don't know about things these days, but my niece graduated last year and only had a 2 ticket allowance.
It is deadly boring for any guests, so I would say go along for the jollies afterwards if you want to, but thank your lucky stars you do not need to sit through 90 to 120 minutes of clapping for people you do not know & will never meet?

FolkGhoul Mon 12-Nov-12 15:52:22

IME there are only ever 2 tickets to these events.

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