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To think a teacher shouldnt say this?

(75 Posts)
DrWhoBrain Sun 11-Nov-12 16:16:54

Ds 6 has a new teacher and last week they went swimming in class. Ds was upset after school and said he didnt want to go back again because the teacher told him that if he didnt sit nicely (he WAS messing about) he would throw him in the deep end of the pool. Now ive asked ds over and over to ensure hes telling me the truth, ds tends to take things very literally and is scared of water so the teacher may of been joking but ds didnt think so as he wasnt smiling or laughing. AIBU to think joking or not its not a nice thing to say to a 6 year old? the teacher is new as i said and this is their first teaching post, just intrested in other opinions and wether i should be pulling the teacher up on this?

PinkFondantFancy Sun 11-Nov-12 16:19:00

To be honest, I'd put my energy into teaching him not to mess about when at school, especially by the pool as it's dangerous rather than having a go at the teacher.

mogandme Sun 11-Nov-12 16:19:44

Agree with telling DS that he must behave and not mess about at swimming

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 11-Nov-12 16:20:25

Is the main point here not that your child was messing around? Don't think what the teacher said is that bad.

Flisspaps Sun 11-Nov-12 16:20:38

No, I think you should teach your son to sit still and not mess about near water.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 11-Nov-12 16:21:07

I don't think I'd pull the teacher up on it. She probably realised she shouldn't have said it, but some children would laugh at being told that, others will understandably be scared and it don't sound like the teacher has enough experience to work out when saying something like that will be harmless.

I'd help your ds to realise that it was said because the teacher was cross, and sometimes people say things they shouldn't when they are cross. It might make him realise that he should listen the first time he is told to stop being silly, because to doing so ends up in teachers being cross!

RuleBritannia Sun 11-Nov-12 16:21:18

No, the teacher should never have swaid anything like this. Threatening anything at all should not happen. I expect the teacher didn't know that your DS was scared of water (I am so know how your son must have felt) so he should have kept his mouth shut.

I would report it because that's emotional abuse in my mind - a form of mental bullying. I don't care whether he's new to teaching or what.

Messing about should have meant just 100 lines or 20 minute detention (I suppose).

DrWhoBrain Sun 11-Nov-12 16:22:07

Oh i have, ds has been told how important it is NOT to mess about at the pool and how dangerous it is. But on the other hand he has some sensory issues and finds it very difficult to sit still and often acts very silly, ds dosnt understand danger very well and school know this. I just think although most people whol know a teacher would never throw him in the pool to ds who takes things very literally it really frightened him.

MadCap Sun 11-Nov-12 16:22:14

Agree with the other posters. I would be telling my dc off not the teacher.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 11-Nov-12 16:22:22

I meant don't invested of doesn't there! I only talk like that when I'm drunk and with my cockney family!

StuntGirl Sun 11-Nov-12 16:22:32

I think given how drastically catastrophic it could have been if your son ignored instructions because he was messing about a bit of fear won't go amiss. Talk to your son about the dangers of water and why its so important to listen to adults and be sensible at swimming.

RuleBritannia Sun 11-Nov-12 16:22:41

The others are right though. Teach your son to do as he's told.

StuntGirl Sun 11-Nov-12 16:23:34

Oh xpost. drip drip...

Hesterton Sun 11-Nov-12 16:23:36

He was a bit misjudged but may have been said in a very jokey way.

Not really appropriate all the same, but like others have said, I would focus your energy on training your child to follow instructions rather than start on the teacher.

Tweasels Sun 11-Nov-12 16:25:38

It has had the desired effect. Your DS will not mess about next week.

It was probably said in a joking tone and as this is a new teacher he will not be aware that your child has a tendency to take things literally.

Just reassure DS that no one will throw him in and tell him to behave. Please don't speak to the teacher. It won't go down well.

WelshMaenad Sun 11-Nov-12 16:25:39

You will get 379732 sanctimonious responses focusing on the fact that you child is not perfect and suggesting that its all your own fault.

I do not think it is acceptable, aside from worrying your DS it's really weak discipline, isn't it, to threaten something they're not going to follow through.

I would raise it gently, pointing out that it really scared him, and asking if it could be clarified that they will NIT fobthis, but if he misbehaves again they WILL do xyz as rational and reasonable consequences.

Dd is completely unable to work out when people are kidding and fine thing like this that tapped into a genuine dead round have her terrified and very upset.

HecatePropylaea Sun 11-Nov-12 16:25:50

Of course the teacher was joking. How could they not be? grin you think the teacher would have grabbed him and thrown him into the deep end of the pool? really? grin

I wouldn't pull the teacher up on it. I would teach my son to not be silly in lessons (even swimming lessons! it's all disruptive) and to have respect for water because it can be dangerous! I'd also work on teaching him to not be so literal. My children both have autism and are very literal. I have some books that really help them to understand that sometimes what you say isn't actually what you mean!

ihavenofuckingclue Sun 11-Nov-12 16:27:40

I think if the teacher said this, it was said in a jokey way. Perhaps not a great joke.
I would tell your son not to mess about. And that teachers make bad jokes as well.

BOFingSanta Sun 11-Nov-12 16:29:32

It's not emotional abuse.

porridgewithalmondmilk Sun 11-Nov-12 16:29:33

Admittedly I teach at a secondary school but I have certainly said similar to children in my time, always with a huge smile and it elicits further giggling and laughter. I usually threaten to dunk mine in the fishpond! I obviously don't mean it!

BOFingSanta Sun 11-Nov-12 16:31:55

Oh, and I wouldn't 'report' it- I'd behave like a sensible person and have a pleasant word with the teacher, explaining that your son tends to take things very literally and got a bit upset, but that you will impress on him the importance of not messing about and distracting people around water because it's dangerous.

Hopeforever Sun 11-Nov-12 16:32:19

Depends on your child.

DS who has Aspergers would not understand it was not seriously meant and worry. He also can't sit still but that's another problem

DD would laugh it off

I'd be making sure my child was safe and asking, if necessary for a TA to be extra vigilant

DrWhoBrain Sun 11-Nov-12 16:33:27

Of course i know it was a joke i dont actually think he was going to do it just that ds didnt 'get it' and it frightened him. I do think he should of had a telling off for messing about just that he went the wrong way about it. Thats why i posted though to get other opinions and appreciate the replies.

Narked Sun 11-Nov-12 16:36:20

I think it's worth explaining your DS's needs to the teacher, without criticising what they said. They should know that your DS takes things very literally and may eg need to be supervised more closely than other DC.

SofiaAmes Sun 11-Nov-12 16:37:10

Perhaps your son should have some private (or just with you) lessons to help work on his swimming skills and fear of water, before being thrown (sorry, no pun intended) into a situation where he is confronted with large class of kids, a deep swimming pool and a teacher who needs to keep absolute order for the safety of everyone. I would suggest that perhaps instead of pulling up the teacher on his behavior, you may want to modify your own and think twice about what situations you put your sn child when he is unprepared to cope.

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