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More wwyd, re: mil and xmas presents

(22 Posts)
VIX1980 Sun 11-Nov-12 10:36:47

My mil asked a while ago what we were getting ds for christmas, i said as hes 5 months and wont even know what it is we are getting him a baby walker, and have asked others if they must buy presents then to buy things he needs for the next year or so, such as clothes, my own mum and dad are buying his next car seat, nan is buying high chair etc.

She asked what she could buy and after thinking i said, well remember when he was born and you wanted to buy a present but you were too tight to go and buy one cos you had too spent all your time in the pub instead you said you would buy baby monitors, and we do still need them actually.

she agreed to buy baby monitors, she rang dp up this past week and told him she had bought some and also got him a walker too shock.

Ive not seen her yet but was mad when dp told me she had done this, she does have previous form for trying to take over and im seriously pissed off, I'd already ordered his walker that dp and I had picked ages ago, aibu to say something and ask er to return it?? i know she will cry and make it all about herself again, dp doesnt want me to say anything and just said we could leave it at her house for when ds goes there, thing is he hardly goes there as they continue to smoke around him and he came back stinking recently so hasnt been back since.

if i dont say anything now she will carry on like this wont she...

VirginiaDare Sun 11-Nov-12 10:39:58

do you mean walker as in sit in thing with wheels? If so you are both bu and should take them back.

VIX1980 Sun 11-Nov-12 10:45:28

Hi, no its a walker thing that has lights and music on the front and when they start to toddle along they hold onto it for balance. Id shown her which one we were going to buy and she even bought a completely different one, knowing he doesnt need 2.

He wont even use it at christmas but like ive already said, I'd like his presents if people choose to buy them and theres is no pushing them into it, to be things he can use over the next year or so, instead of a load of toys all at once that he probably wont even get to use.

FatimaLovesBread Sun 11-Nov-12 10:46:52

Just repeat that you have bought him a walker and she'll have to take hers back

ImperialBlether Sun 11-Nov-12 10:46:55

Your husband needs to tell her that he'll take it back if she gives him the receipt and he'll get something else for the baby. She sounds an idiot!

Flojo1979 Sun 11-Nov-12 10:50:49

My DC had several of these push along things, I don't see the problem, if its not the same as yours then its not the same and there's no issue surely?

Flojo1979 Sun 11-Nov-12 10:51:48

She does sound vile tho. I'd just ignore her and have as little to do with her as poss.

ErikNorseman Sun 11-Nov-12 10:55:21

What a fuss about nothing! Let it go, honestly.

VirginiaDare Sun 11-Nov-12 10:57:59

just tell her to keep it at her house. No need to make a big deal about it.

GoldPlatedNineDoors Sun 11-Nov-12 10:58:02

Or ask her if you can keep.one of then at hers so he can play with it when you go there?

VIX1980 Sun 11-Nov-12 11:25:50

Honestly im not being weird, if it was just this walker yes, id just say ok keep it at your house.

But since i got pregnant she has gone and bought everything of her own, she bought a large silver cross pram that was a ridiculous amount of money because she wanted one, she has used it once hmm.

she bought a moses basket, cot, chairs, feeding chairs etc all within the first 5 months of me being pregnant. after i actually had ds she fell out with us and sent her other family around to ask why we were being so mean to her not letting her see her grandchild. All we had asked was if they minded not smoking in the same room as ds.

Yes she is very weird and i'd love to have nothing to do with her, im my ideal world we would move far, far away [sigh]

MrsCantSayAnything Sun 11-Nov-12 11:28:02

my Mum did this OP ....I mentioned I was getting DD a really nice pram for Christmas. One week later she turned up with TWO fecking prams from CHARITY SHOPS!

Not as nice as I wanted to get...but she got them out of the car and DD saw them and was all excited.

SO now I have been robbed of my pram shopping and the pleasure of seeing DD on Christmas morning with a pram.

YANBU.

StateofConfusion Sun 11-Nov-12 11:55:44

I hope if someone else is buying the carseat they're taking your car and having it fitted correctly. Tbh anyway they don't need the next size up until 12-18mos, not the measly 9mo most people believe. Research it, its an exceptionally important piece of kit!

CrapBag Sun 11-Nov-12 12:05:50

YANBU.

Tell her quite clearly that she knew you were buying a walker so she can either keep this one at her house (who cares if it never gets used, thats her problem for buying it in the first place) or take it back.

Tough fucking shit if she gets upset or whatever. Your DH should be standing up and telling her himself, seems like he doesn't want to upset mummy.

She sounds like a pita.

In future, and this it to others who have the same problem which I have read a fair few on here, don't tell others what you are buying if they have form for doing this!!!

socharlotte Sun 11-Nov-12 14:58:16

Just let her buy it, have 2 and then a couple of months later sell one of them....and be grateful for the monitors.

BerthaTheBogBurglar Sun 11-Nov-12 15:11:04

a) accept it and ebay it
b) leave it at her house, it won't get used but you don't need to worry about that

The important thing is to accept that you're not going to change her. It isn't as if she is behaving with the best of intentions and this is a misunderstanding. There is no point trying to get her to behave differently, or stressing about her.

She already knows you're buying a walker, so there is no point telling her you've got one and asking her to take hers back - she intended this situation to arise. What you need to do is show her that she isn't getting to you. No fun being a competitive primadonna if no one pays you any attention.

Which option will be least hassle for you? Do that one. And act totally unconcerned. You don't mind what she does, in fact you've hardly noticed.

Aniseeda Sun 11-Nov-12 15:19:45

What Bertha said!

And, next year, think of what you'd like her to get him and tell her you are getting it!

Hopeforever Sun 11-Nov-12 15:26:15

Let it go, you are making a non issue an issue. A visiting child can use it, save them fighting over the one walker. If they are different even better

Rather sad your baby isn't getting any toys for Christmas, 6-12 month old toys that is

We asked for things like car seats and high chairs to be given to us as our Christmas presents and the kids get the fun stuff or clothes

Now smoking in front of a child s another matter, pick your battles carefully and only fight the important ones

YourHandInMyHand Sun 11-Nov-12 15:30:57

Let it go. Let her bring it round, then donate to charity/local refuge/ebay it.

I think the idea of passing on anything shebuys you that is a duplicate/ghastly/not suitable to a charitable cause like a women's refuge is a great way of turning her annoying habit into something positive.

I agree that you won't change her so you need to change your reaction to her.

YourHandInMyHand Sun 11-Nov-12 15:32:21

I'm sure OP's baby won't be toyless. IME babies prefer bangles, wooden spoons, etc anyway but they don't need loads and loads of toys and those they do want/need can be picked up fairly cheaply.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 11-Nov-12 15:34:32

Well, you know what your strategy should be next Christmas. Tell her you're going to get DD something monstrously expensive that you would in actual fact never be able to afford and see if MIL insists on competing wink

Anniegetyourgun Sun 11-Nov-12 15:35:30

Ach, just noticed Aniseeda got there first. Well, it's a good plan anyway.

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