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To think (D) P attitude stinks re the war dead

(126 Posts)
Shinyshoes1 Sun 11-Nov-12 10:14:05

My son is a sea cadet and he's marching for rememberance Sunday .
For a start he huffed and puffed when I said we'd be attending reminding him that our son is among those marching in memory of the fallen and in support for our serving forces
He then moaned that we've arrived 25 minutes early . He's now pissed off for a coffee
Among the comments he's made today they've included
"I don't know anyone that has died in the war "
"in what way does respecting those in wars affect me "
"speaking German would make no difference to me as we'd know no different"
"Those serving in wars at the moment know the risks when they sign up"
" I didn't ask our country to go to war with Iraq and afghanistan "

I'm literally frothing at the mouth and I've told him that I'll teach my children to respect. He's now pissed off to the coffee shop where I hope he fucking chokes on his latte .
AIBU to think he's a fucking disrespectful cunt

tiredemma Sun 11-Nov-12 10:15:54

he is a disrectful cunt. i agree.

I would find this kind of attitude a huge turn off.

EuroShagmore Sun 11-Nov-12 10:17:48

He is a fucking disrespectful cunt. Hopefully your son won't pick up on his views.

meditrina Sun 11-Nov-12 10:18:02


But those people died fighting for freedom. And that includes the freedom to hold your personal opinions. Remembrance matters a huge amount to me, but that does not mean that everyone must think like that.

It can be a huge shock to discover someone close to you holds opinions that you find loathsome. That in itself would fuel anger.

TheBigJessie Sun 11-Nov-12 10:18:25

YABU- especially as today was remembers the conscripted soldiers of the first world war, and those who who never felt they had a choice, even though they nominally signed up voluntarily.

AmberLeaf Sun 11-Nov-12 10:18:45

He is a thick disrespectful cunt.

TheBigJessie Sun 11-Nov-12 10:19:48

Amberleaf spot on.

Although, I think he lacks the warmth and depth of the last noun...

TheBigJessie Sun 11-Nov-12 10:20:42

Hang on a minute- first post should say YANBU. Sorry, was so outraged, I forgot how to spell.

Mrsjay Sun 11-Nov-12 10:21:46

Is he always such an arsehole or just today ignore him watch the parade be proud of your son, Your partner is entitled to his opinion on things just not today when you are at a parade he is being a twat ,

mrsscoob Sun 11-Nov-12 10:21:54

I tell him to fuck off home if I were you, I wouldn't want him there

freddiefrog Sun 11-Nov-12 10:22:15


My daughters are marching with Beavers and Scouts this morning. I've just given my 11 year old a massive talking to because 'she can't be bothered to go' and 'it's boring' and 'I look an idiot in this hat'

I thought she knew better than that.

Mrsjay Sun 11-Nov-12 10:22:47

I tell him to fuck off home if I were you, I wouldn't want him there

So would I tbh if he cant go and support what is going on then he should go home

tiredemma Sun 11-Nov-12 10:22:48

He is lucky that he has the 'freedom' to just disappear off out for a leisurely sunday morning coffee.

Thisisaeuphemism Sun 11-Nov-12 10:22:59

What's wrong with him?!

wewereherefirst Sun 11-Nov-12 10:23:59

YANBU. He is being an utterly disrespectful bastard. There's so much more than what he thinks. I hope he gets in conversation with a veteran while having his coffee. That should help change his mind.

Thisisaeuphemism Sun 11-Nov-12 10:24:28

I could forgive an 11year old for such ignorance not a

FermezLaBouche Sun 11-Nov-12 10:24:42

What a horrible attitude. He just makes himself sounds really, really stupid. Better he stays in the coffee shop than comes back and acts disrespectfully during the silence or something.

shrimponastick Sun 11-Nov-12 10:25:18

Ooh can I say it ?

Leave the bastard grin

Seriously though, I would be very unimpressed to hear that from an adult. A sulky teen maybe.

Shinyshoes1 Sun 11-Nov-12 10:27:02

The march starts in. 5 minutes I'm wondering if he'll actually bother to come out of the coffee shop tbh . It's not looking likely

He absolutely doesn't see anything wrong with his behaviour .

ILiveInAPineapple Sun 11-Nov-12 10:27:20

I feel outrage on your behalf!
A lot of those serving today signed up at a time when the only "war" was in Northern Ireland!
And whilst speaking German may not make a difference to your H, I'm pretty sure living under a maniacal fascist regime would.

Most of these men who were killed were no more than boys, terrified and far away from home. Why is it so hard for him to spend an hour or so to remember their sacrifice? How vile to feel that way, I just don't understand it.

The real danger in feeling like that, is that future generations forget the true horrors that these men went through, and when you forget the past, you are doomed to repeat it.

MrsPresley Sun 11-Nov-12 10:28:31

Extremely disrespectful sad

Even if anyone genuinely felt like that (and I hope no one does) it is stilll very disrespectful to voice those opinions.

Maybe he should be respectful of the men and women who have died, giving him the freedom to voice his vile opinions!

keriatthetate Sun 11-Nov-12 10:28:40

Look up what his grandparents and great uncles and aunts did during the war, he sounds disconnected from his history.

He clearly has no understanding to make such ignorant statements.

and ask his mother if he use to make the statement, "I didn't ask to be born", when asks to do something for himself.

DontmindifIdo Sun 11-Nov-12 10:31:11

Hmm, sounds like you've got two problems there. Firstly, your 'D'P doesn't have respect for people who've died in order that he can enjoy his various freedoms and safety, sees to be one of those blokes who belittles things he's not able to do himself.

Secondly, your 'D'P knows this is important to you and DS, even if he doesn't care (regardless of whether or not he should) he should be able to behave in a civilised manner for a few hours for you and your DS's benefit. That he's huffing and puffing and sulking and causing a scene/being generally stroppy because he's having to do something that matters to you and isn't his first choice of how to spend a morning is a hell of a red flag to me. If he's only well behaved when he gets to do things he wants and you all fit in with him, then he's not worth keeping OP, dump for that, not the disrespect for the dead - that's a red herring, it's the stropping up because he's not got his own way and has had to put himself out just a tiny bit for you.

He's hoping you'll say "ok, you don't have to join in, you can do your own thing and don't worry, we'll be there to support you when you need me to be there at your arm for something that matters to you."

TidyDancer Sun 11-Nov-12 10:33:19

It disturbs me that people have this attitude.

I would be utterly furious with DP if he behaved like this. I don't know what I would do if he really felt like that, there would be serious consequences though.

Leverette Sun 11-Nov-12 10:35:50

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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