Talk

Advanced search

To re-register DD's birth with DP named as father instead of him adopting her and all the hassle which goes with that?

(110 Posts)
WeakCough Sat 10-Nov-12 22:03:15

I have a 10 year old DD who adores my DP and says he is the 'best Dad ever', etc etc. DP has expressed a wish to adopt her as I am 35 weeks pregnant and we would love to be a complete family.
DD has discussed this and would love for DP to be her 'real' dad (she knows he is not biologically).
She has never met her bio dad and he in turn does not wish to have any contact- I have given him numerous opportunities and choices over the years and he has only ever responded once to say he doesn't want to know.
There is no father named on DD's birth certificate and it strikes me that it is a much easier process to just name DP as the father on DD's birth certificate and re-register her birth- i stumbled across the info when looking at forms for DP to go and register our new baby's birth.
Can anyone see any potential problems with this? Is it morally wrong (everyone concerned knows the actual situation, nobody is being deceived- just would be so much easier!)

RonnyJotten Sat 10-Nov-12 22:07:45

He's not her father

MissWinklyParadiso Sat 10-Nov-12 22:08:33

Other than it being a criminal offence and a lie, no issue.

WeakCough Sat 10-Nov-12 22:08:37

Well yes, we both know that, but after adoption he would be, is this that different?

Funnylittleturkishdelight Sat 10-Nov-12 22:09:02

It would be incorrect- adopting is better.

WorraLiberty Sat 10-Nov-12 22:09:32

I think it's illegal to lie isn't it?

Softlysoftly Sat 10-Nov-12 22:09:38

Yes legally, morally and in the future possibly medically!

WeakCough Sat 10-Nov-12 22:09:54

Is it a criminal offence? blush
Would anyone find out though? Its not as if we'd be waving the certificate about, to anyone who asked we would just tell them that DP had adopted DD

TidyDancer Sat 10-Nov-12 22:10:06

Of course it's different....no one can be that dumb can they?

It's a point of law.

ilovesooty Sat 10-Nov-12 22:10:30

He'd be her adoptive father. Not the same thing in terms of her birth certificate. Great if he adopts her but he can't go on the birth certificate.

TidyDancer Sat 10-Nov-12 22:11:13

Well how many people know your DP is not your DD's bio dad?

Is it worth the risk when you can actually go about it legally?

WorraLiberty Sat 10-Nov-12 22:11:24

Would anyone find out though? Its not as if we'd be waving the certificate about, to anyone who asked we would just tell them that DP had adopted DD

So even more lies?

FeckOffCup Sat 10-Nov-12 22:12:07

I fail to see the point of it to be honest if your DD already knows that your DP isn't her father, you will still be a family without having to change her birth certificate to include fraudulent information if she feels he is a father figure to her.

picnicbasketcase Sat 10-Nov-12 22:12:08

I think you need to follow the correct legal path on this. He isn't her biological father and thus shouldn't be on her birth certificate, even if as far as you are all concerned he's her dad.

whatsforyou Sat 10-Nov-12 22:12:11

I don't know all the legal stuff but it seems like it could be a bit of a nightmare in the future. I can understand why it's tempting but to be honest, given what an important thing this is then I think it's worth the effort. Better do it all properly now and it can't come back and bite you on the bum later :-)

Softlysoftly Sat 10-Nov-12 22:13:33

Its naughty to lie DD but not on legal documents k?

You want that conversation?

Veteris Sat 10-Nov-12 22:13:40

Hi WeakCough
As someone who works in registration I have to point out that when you sign the register you are signing to say that the information is true, and if you are found to have lied you can be prosecuted for perjury and it really isn't worth it. If your DD already knows that DP is not her biological dad it could well come back to bite you on the bum if/when she goes through the "I hate you I wish you weren't my parents" phase. It could also cause all sorts of trouble later on for inheritance and stuff if it is found that you have lied (if you are not married he will have to sign and lie too). Get her adopted properly or at least a deed of parental responsibility that gives your lovely DP the right to make decisions regarding your DD if anything should happen to you.

MissWinklyParadiso Sat 10-Nov-12 22:14:18

Yes it's an offence under the Perjury Act - 7 years prison maximum sentence. I think the extra hassle of the adoption is far outweighed by the risk you'd take lying.

ilovesooty Sat 10-Nov-12 22:15:23

I dread to think how many problems your daughter might encounter later with an iffy birth certificate.

WorraLiberty Sat 10-Nov-12 22:16:03

Plus if it's worth doing, it's worth doing properly.

Your DD is worth the extra 'hassle' I'm sure.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sat 10-Nov-12 22:17:27

Why on earth would you prefer to falsify an official document rather than just do it properly and end up with the same, if not better, outcome? confused

TalkinPeace2 Sat 10-Nov-12 22:18:21

If in later life she ever needs to get security clearance, visas, certain medical checks - having a lie of that nature on her birth certificate would be a HUGE impediment.
Do not take that risk that she would be given hassle as an adult for your convenience today

MissWinklyParadiso Sat 10-Nov-12 22:18:21

I dread to think the problems you would.encounter if you fell out with a family member and they reported you. Birth certificates are a matter of public record. Anyone could get a copy then report that you didn't even know your dp at the time - including your daughter's biological father

OpheliaPayneAgain Sat 10-Nov-12 22:20:54

Legally he wouldnt be her father - these things have a way of coming outa tdeath - where there's a will there's a whole caboodle of relatives, just waiting to swoop down. You'd have to lie to your whole extended family. And as, poer you OP, everyone knows the situation - just imagin if your chiuldren dont get on or have a falling - all that dirty washing out in public.

Of course, other than it being illegal - she isn;t his daughter. Go through the correct process for him to adopt her so that she is his daughter.

Chubfuddler Sat 10-Nov-12 22:20:54

He doesn't need to adopt her. A PR order can be obtained by a step parent with the consent of biological parents.

As no father is named on her BC there is no father to need to give consent, so just you need to consent. Easy peasy. Cost about £500.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now