AIBU to be upset I got rid of all DD (age nearly 3) clothes and toys and am now expecting?

[heartsandflowers2009]

I know I may have a boy next time but I cannot stop thinking about all the clothes age newborn up to 24 months and all the baby toys I have got rid of, also moses baskets, cot sheets and blankets, car seat, highchair, etc. (I had a horrible labour and did not want another baby). I spent a fortune at mamas and papas and next etc. on all this stuff and I have now found out I am expecting and feel I have been so wasteful getting rid of everything. Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones but I could cry at the moment, am i being unreasonable? Did other people do this and regret it, or did it on purpose as they wanted to buy new for each of their children?

[DoodleAlley]

Seeing as you can't change it, why don't you try thinking of it as a fresh start.

New start, great labour and big smiles all around?

[keriatthetate]

well try and think of it, as at least this time you will know what is needed and what just pointless.

think of it as a fresh start, enjoy choosing items, and at least you won't have the problem of the older child claiming everything belongs to them and not baby,

I bet the three year old will like helping you choose items.

[CanIHaveAPetGiraffePlease]

I did this as didn't want to do labour again. However you now know how little everything gets used etc -you can buy at nct sales etc. No need to spend a fortune this time!

[MolotovBomb]

Blimey, don't beat yourself up!! It's not like you're saying you're regretting making the new baby!

Just buy new stuff for him/her. There are some beautiful Next clothes bundles for all ages on eBay, as well as used but pristine/almost pristine prams/pushchairs/travel systems. (I'm suggesting this to you as an option in case you are concerned or unable to spend on brand new stuff.)

I bought my DD2 a new pram from eBay (a brand new Silver Cross pramette) for £100. It's even better than the original pram I had for DD1 because that thing was a TANK. You can buy better this time with the benefit of hindsight :)

Stay chipper and don't worry! x

[apostropheuse]

There's no point in having regrets. What's done is done and there's sweet FA you can do about it.

Concentrate on looking forward to a happy and healthy pregnancy with a happy and healthy baby at the end of it.

Enjoy spending some time searching for the things you need, looking for bargains, etc. You'll probably find people offer you things too.

Oh and congratulations!

[insprognito]

No not at all .Everytime I have done this I have found out I am pg again (4 dds) and think what a waste. I know I don't want anymore so will not tempt fate again,even if it means hanging onto dd4s stuff until I am too old to conceive

[HoneyMurcott]

Maybe you can ask at your mothers' group/playgroup if anyone is giving stuff away, especially large items as they take up space and people are quite often happy to get rid! Do you have a toy library you can use? Wish I had done this as I survey the plastic tat that now crowds up DD's room. Or perhaps you could borrow toys/ equipment/ from friends and give back when finished. I bet you will be surprised at what you can find. Sounds like you will be set up from age three onwards with your DD's things, so it's only a short time you will have to cover.Why not see this as an opportunity to get a couple of items you didnt get for DD and always wished you had. Eg, lovely nappy bag, etc. Will cheer you up I am sure! Hugs to you, OP, and congrats on your pregnancy.

[Softlysoftly]

On a totally different note. After my first horrific labour I did hypnobirthing for the second one, mainly to manage my own panic.

Was so chilled out I delivered DD2s head on the pavement outside the unit, try it!

[DilysPrice]

YANBU to be cross. I'd be pig sick at the waste.

Have one big loud scream of annoyance, punch the wall (plasterboard not brick otherwise you'll hurt your hand) then let it go and move on with all the great suggestions given above.

[amazingmumof6]

Bless you, please don't cry!

A friend had 3 kids (boys & girl) and did the same as you, then had another child - she figured out later that she had already been pregnant when she gave everything away...ouch!

Another friend kept everything and have tried for the last 8 years to have another baby. no success.
reluctantly they are about to get rid of things as they are a bit over 40, had serious health problems and seem to have accepted it is unlikely that another baby will happen

not being able to have another baby is much more of a "waste" in my book!


On a practical note - to minimize spending Ebay, charity shops and hand-me-downs come to mind.
You may have friends who grew out of baby things but planning more kids in the future and would be happy to lend you things in the meantime

Also there are NCT sales and other opportunity's to get good stuff in great condition!

Anyway the things you gave away helped other people and that's not a waste either!

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

we were stopping at just one child
dd2 is now two . i didn't regret giving her stuff away as we really did think we'd have no use for it.

people were very generous and I was lent or given lots of bits and bobs when she was born. the most of the rest I picked up cheaply on ebay. second time around you know what stuff is worth having, and what's a waste of space and money.

[CSIJanner]

hearts - where do you live? My friends & I share out a whole load of stuff, plus there are a couple of mums table top sales where you can get a bargain

[heartsandflowers2009]

Thanks I feel a lot better now. amaingmumof6 your post about the couple that kept everything and could not have another baby put it in perspective for me, I am so lucky to be having another baby. I think my pregnancy hormones are going crazy today and I am worrying about everything. I am also panicking about giving birth already which is stupid as it is nearly 8 months away. But I had told myslelf I would not put myself through having another baby as I still have nightmares about DDs birth nearly 3 years on. There is just one part of my labour that sticks in my mind, at 10cm my contractions stopped and I had to be put on a drip to start them, I then had back to back labour pushing for 3.5 hours with no pain relief apart from gas and air before they realised DD was stuck. I felt like I was being tortured for those 3.5 hours as I felt like my spine was having shocks every 3 minutes on the dot. And I was being told I was not pushing hard enough when she was actually stuck. I know all labours are painful but there is something about that bit of my labour I cannot get over :( I will look at the hypno birthing, thanks x

[cantspel]

I hardly used any of all the must have gadgets and fancy outfit i bought for number 1 when i had number 2.

Number 1 was bathed in a fancy over the bath baby bath complete with foam comfy inset, dried of his fluffy towel with cute little hood then dressed in his expensive but bugger to wash lovely little outfit.

Number 2 was bathed in the washing up bowl in the kitchen, dried on a clean t towel and then dressed in his mulit pack asda sleep suit.

So even if you hd kept half these things you probably wouldn't have used them.

Does that make you feel better?

[PickledFanjoCat]

Really softly? Im found exactly the same but I haven't had a session yet.

[Brendansmummy]

Hi I have a travel system pram if your near by

[REC1]

Hi, never posted before but lurked a while & felt I had to respond as I felt the same as you after an awful first birth. I too would recommend hypno-birthing and also hired a Doula second time around which was the best thing I've ever done as we talked through what happened first time which helped hugely and she was then there every step of the way to look after me (& dh!), just something else to consider ..Good luck & congrats!

[stinkinseamonkey]

I don't regret getting rid of DS1's baby stuff, it would have been rotting in storage somewhere instead of used for about 2 more babies, now I'm expecting again I've got brilliant hand me downs back from people I passed on stuff to, its not the same stuff, but so what?

[DorisIsWaiting]

I had a nightmare birth the first time and hynobirthed the 2nd (after waking with nightmares about impending labour) could not recommend it more.

Have a look on freecycle an gumtree for babystuff, that and carboot sales in the summer time. Honestly there is no point at all in buying brand new stuff think of it as recycling and saving stuff from going to landfill.

[snowpo]

Just to say please try not to let yourself get too worried about giving birth again. I had a horrible first birth and tore very badly, still living with the consequences 3 yrs later. With my second I got myself in a complete state worrying about it and seriously thought about a c-section as I was so scared.
No. 2 arrived within about 3 hrs of 1st contraction and I remember saying 'Is that it?' when she popped out. I couldn't believe how easy it was (relatively speaking!) Easy for me to say now but try not to panic.

[Mollydoggerson]

Just tell everyone and anyone you know in rl your story and I bet there will be loads of people only too willing to make donations. That is what I will be doing (if I get pregnant again!). I have 2 ds's and was a bit traumatised by non stop exhaustion for 18 months and thought that's it, I'm done. Now dh wants another one, ds1 wants another 2 and I am coming around to possibly going again.

What about my crappy career though???