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To be peed off at parents who drop their children's off at birthday parties...

(331 Posts)
AnnaLiza Sat 10-Nov-12 14:05:30

....instead of offering to help out!
It's not only about the child being able to cope without the parent. I do expect 11 year olds to be ok without the parents but how can it not occur to mums and dads that I may struggle to feed and look after a bunch of 15 kids when they sit down for food and cake?
I find it very rude that the parents just shoot off without even asking if I might need help. AIBU?

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sat 10-Nov-12 14:06:34


If you need help ask for it!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 10-Nov-12 14:06:48


You should make sure you have enough help.

scentednappyhag Sat 10-Nov-12 14:07:02

YABU. If you're hosting the party, it's up to you to organise enough people to help so you can cope.

dampfireworksinthegarden Sat 10-Nov-12 14:07:38

it would be reasonalbe for someone to offer, but tbh if i was hosting a party i would have made sure that I had enough helpers myself.
the party is for the children, not an expectation of parents to help out.

Iamsparklyknickers Sat 10-Nov-12 14:07:46

Yabu. I would expect an 11 year old to be fine to be dropped off and the hosting parents to have anticipated and organised any help before hand.

WelshMaenad Sat 10-Nov-12 14:07:51

YABU. If you find it that difficult, don't have the bloody party!

Little ones, yes I would expect parents to stay, but 11 yr olds, get a grip!

AnnaLiza Sat 10-Nov-12 14:07:57

And how do I make sure I have enough help exactly?

Sparklingbrook Sat 10-Nov-12 14:08:47

YABU. They are 11. Get them to help you. wink

But 15 11 year olds? Respect.

irishbird Sat 10-Nov-12 14:08:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarshmallowFarm Sat 10-Nov-12 14:08:54

if the kids are aged 11 I do think it's a reasonable assumption that you don't need to stay at the party with them. At that age I think it's up to the party-giver to assume that no-one will stay and to organise other help if needed, or to limit numbers. Most 11-year olds would be mortified if their mum or dad stayed to help.

The other approach is to make it clear on the invite that you need one or two adult helpers - and hope that someone offers to help. That's what people do for swimming parties and it seems to work.

ginmakesitallok Sat 10-Nov-12 14:08:58

hmm - you ask someone to help??

YouSeveredHead Sat 10-Nov-12 14:09:03

By being organized before the party

Pagwatch Sat 10-Nov-12 14:09:06


You are the host. Arrange the party around your ability to cope. If you need help then have the manners to ask in advance.

RightUpMyRue Sat 10-Nov-12 14:09:06

YABU. If you can't cope with 15 children or haven't got help you've organised yourself then don't invite 15, only invite 3.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 10-Nov-12 14:09:18

I once took DS to party and was roped in to help because the host had not arranged enough help. I was pissed off about it because I had other things planned for the time that DS was at the party (I intended to sit in a nearby coffee shop to do reading for a course I was doing). I did help after all, but I was highly irritated that the party host had not planned things properly.

notusualsuspect Sat 10-Nov-12 14:09:45

YABU, ask people to help if you need it.

Don't organise a party without enough help in the first place.

Sparklingbrook Sat 10-Nov-12 14:10:04

When you arrange the party you ask the parents of a couple of friends to stay. Offer them wine. wink

ValiumQueen Sat 10-Nov-12 14:10:12

YABVU. You arrange help with family, friends etc. if you cannot manage that many kids, organise something you can manage. Not exactly rocket science.

Notquite Sat 10-Nov-12 14:10:38

It would never occur to me to expect parents to stop and help when they dropped their children off. I would organise help in advance if needed.

AnnaLiza Sat 10-Nov-12 14:10:41

Can someone explain how I would go about organising the help? Do you mean pay people to help? Surely that's not straightforward! If I had family living nearby I would ask them

NinaHeart Sat 10-Nov-12 14:10:49

YABU. As all the above have already stated. I'm really not sure at all why you should be annoyed. I'm amazed you should ask this question.

TidyDancer Sat 10-Nov-12 14:10:50

YABmassivelyU. This is not how children's parties work.

You organise the help yourself. You either ask family and friends or you actually ask the parents before the event. To the majority of parents it's a nice couple of childfree hours, why would they stick around unless asked to?!

You can't expect people to want to stay at these things, but I'm sure if you said you needed help, some would be willing to give you a hand.

Tweasels Sat 10-Nov-12 14:11:07

You shouldn't have a party if you cannot handle the children.

Do 11 year olds have party's like that? With cake...

ilovetermtime Sat 10-Nov-12 14:11:22

YABU, just ask for help if you need it.

Are 11 year old's that bad? My DCs aren't that old yet, but I was hoping that it got easier as they get older!

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