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to not let SIL play with DS?

(22 Posts)
PurpleGentian Fri 09-Nov-12 22:59:46

We've been staying with in-laws, who live about 5 - 10 mins drive away from SIL.

Yesterday, SIL was suffering from a nasty bout of diarrhoea and vomiting. I heard all about this, as SIL was phoning MIL every hour or so to tell MIL all about how poorly she was feeling.

Today, SIL came to visit MIL, with no prior warning, and started heading towards DS (14 months), who was playing with his cars on the floor at the time. I said that I didn't want SIL to play with DS, as she'd been ill with D&V all yesterday, and I didn't want DS to get sick. SIL got all huffy, said she was feeling better now, and took herself off to another room in the house to sulk.

I'm feeling a bit bad for hurting SIL's feelings. Especially after DH said that SIL was a drama queen and had probably been exaggerating her symptoms. Although MIL did suggest that I put DS in his cot to get him 'out of the way' when we saw SIL approaching the front door, so I'm getting mixed messages from the family here. But I didn't apologise to SIL at the time, in case she took this as permission to play with DS and gave him D&V.

I'm now wondering if I was being a little hasty and unreasonable. And probably tactless. I wasn't expecting SIL to turn up, so didn't really think too much before opening my mouth. WIBU and terribly rude?

sosotiredagain123 Fri 09-Nov-12 23:02:44

no you are right sil should stay away or ask your views

blackeyedsusan Fri 09-Nov-12 23:02:50

I think you did well to step in. the recommended time is either 24 or 48 hours (and I can never rememebr which one. ) having a poorly 14 month old ois no fun as they are terrified of being sick, well at least ds was. yanbu at all!

letseatgrandma Fri 09-Nov-12 23:05:01

You are not BU.

Is your SIL 14?

Enfyshedd Fri 09-Nov-12 23:05:06

Schools usually insist on 48 hours with D&V.

PurpleGentian Fri 09-Nov-12 23:09:05

SIL is 40.

And works in a primary school, so I was a bit surprised by her claiming to have never heard of a 48 hour rule when I mentioned that DS's nursery had a 48 hour exclusion policy with D&V.

EugenesAxe Fri 09-Nov-12 23:11:02

I agree with blackeyed and personally don't think YWBU. Dehydration can strike small ones quite easily. And fluids spraying out all over the place is nasty for the parents...

In fact I hate sickness bugs. I get a bit OCD about it and think everything must be tainted. I tend to hygiene wipe all toys, bleach mop everywhere and Dettol spray all handles. I am normally well chilled about microorganisms.

I sort of feel that if it was melodrama, she's asked for it - don't be such a twat in future, love.

AgentZigzag Fri 09-Nov-12 23:35:33

You were just saying what she should have offered to do, I can't believe she works in a primary and doesn't know about staying away for a while afterwards either.

Maybe you did say it in a tactless way, but given that she was making towards your DS you didn't have time for all the hinting which would normally take place.

I know you must have had to/will have to deal with your DS getting his first terrible bout of D and V at some point, but nobody would willingly choose to have to clean up when it comes out both ends let their DC get D and V when it could have been avoided.

ravenAK Fri 09-Nov-12 23:48:50


Babies are the perfect transmitters of infection - they are vulnerable to unfamiliar germs so catch d&v bugs easily, & then spread them via someone else needing to clean them you & dh then catch it & potentially pass it on further.

So even without concern for your ds (which you'd think might have occurred to her...), first rule with d&v is going to be - don't FFS go near any babies/toddlers, or you'll start a whole new outbreak.

She was clearly being a complete twat.

AgentZigzag Fri 09-Nov-12 23:57:31

I was so glad I'd discovered gro-bags by the time I had DD2, they were a life-saver when she had her first bout of diarrhoea (sp? (copied off the OP, looks right though grin))

shock at discovering the poo explosions as you unzipped the bag shock not something you want to be cleaning up without that protective barrier, poor thing.

CailinDana Sat 10-Nov-12 00:02:28

YANBU at all. We've just got over a bug and it was horrendous. I was sick on Tuesday and feeling a lot better today but I still didn't go to toddler group because I would absolutely hate for any of the other children to get it from me or DS. Apparently norovirus can be contagious for up to four days after you feel well again. It is ridiculously contagious - MIL passed it on to DS on Sunday, just from touching him, then he passed it on to us (from pooing and vomiting all over us!).

meddie Sat 10-Nov-12 08:34:46

SIL should stay away from contact for 48 hours after last bout of d&v. Did she even attempt to wash her hands before she came towards your baby, as d&v is spread via faecal -oral route,
YANBU to ask her to not touch your child.

fuzzpig Sat 10-Nov-12 08:47:00

YANBU, I am emetophobic and that would be my worst nightmare!

I hate it when people don't abide by the 48hr rule, it's selfish.

My DD had a D&V bug at 18 months and ended up on a drip, it was terrifying.

rocamadour Sat 10-Nov-12 09:20:30

Yanbu. Your sil was breathtakingly inconsiderate. The 48hr rule is well known. There's Norovirus circulating where we live and it's highly contagious.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sat 10-Nov-12 09:23:10

Wow. I would have bungled her out of the door with a shoe in her back.

My dd just had a bout of D&V at 8.5 months and ended up on a drip. Horrible.

mykidskeepmegoing Sat 10-Nov-12 13:50:17

My MIL turns up when she's ill all the time. The last time she had conjunctivitus, i made up an excuse that we were going out so i didn't have to let her in. She still wanted a kiss off the kids though! They took one look at her crusty eyes and said no lol.
If you're ill stay at home, don't pass it onto others.

digerd Sat 10-Nov-12 14:03:21

My DD was 2 yrs when she had it and it was awful. Days of just no eating, moving or talking, only 2nd to the measles she got at 4 .

poopnscoop Sat 10-Nov-12 14:26:21

As a childminder I have a 48 hour exclusion policy in place, for good reason. Surprised she doesn't know re it?

Jux Sat 10-Nov-12 14:27:19

YWNBU. Even at primary schools they have 48hr rules.

PurpleGentian Sat 10-Nov-12 19:18:07

Glad that you all agree I was being reasonable - I was doubting myself given SIL's reaction.

Haven't seen SIL today, but I'm still wondering if I should apologise for expressing myself in a tactless way. While not apologising for stopping her playing with DS, IYSWIM. She'll no doubt be over at MIL's sometime in the next few days, so I guess I'll see whether she's still ticked off with me....

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 10-Nov-12 19:34:30

"I'm feeling a bit bad for hurting SIL's feelings. Especially after DH said that SIL was a drama queen and had probably been exaggerating her symptoms. "
Well, maybe this will help her understand why it's a bad idea to exaggerate ... wink


beamme Sat 10-Nov-12 19:58:41

She needs to grow up, ywnbu. I had a horrendous D&V bug a few weeks ago, was off work for 4 days because of the 48hr rule (ta in a school). I avoided everyone in that time, especially DN's who are 4 and 1 and very susceptible to bugs.

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