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To ask DH to stay in with me?

(28 Posts)
SingingInTheRain1 Fri 09-Nov-12 20:39:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

webwiz Fri 09-Nov-12 20:49:29

Are you married to a teenager? DS would sulk if I said he couldn't go round to his friends house to play computer games but he's 15.

MissChristmastRee Fri 09-Nov-12 20:55:42

Point out the DIY jobs you'd like done first? <helpful>

If he's going to act like a spoilt teenager, ignore his stroppy behaviour and don't give him the satisfaction of rising to it!

SingingInTheRain1 Fri 09-Nov-12 20:56:13

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ecclesvet Fri 09-Nov-12 20:57:01

Have you missed each other all week because he's been out socialising every evening? Or because of other stuff? If this is the first chance he's had all week to go out and relax, I'd let him have it (if it were my my place to 'let' my spouse do things).

ImperialBlether Fri 09-Nov-12 20:57:58

I think he's waiting for you to shout at him so that he can run off and say you're a big bully.

Mrsjay Fri 09-Nov-12 21:01:40

well that didnt work out well did it poor you he is a grown man yes ? imagine sulking maybe he wants you to say oh fgs just go out, . tbh I wouldnt have minded my dh going to play computer games

cheekydevil Fri 09-Nov-12 21:03:23

You haven't really achieved anything have you?
He should have gone out and you could have chilled then he might have wanted to be with you tomorrow?
If he doesn't then you need to reassess

HecatePropylaea Fri 09-Nov-12 21:03:54

Why don't you ask him why he doesn't want to spend an evening with you.

I just think it's the death knell of a relationship when they'd rather be with their mates. All the time, I mean.

Doesn't he want to do stuff with you? Sit with you and enjoy a film, cuddle up and eat rubbish? Chat with you? Have a heated debate about something ridiculous? grin Play monopoly and pretend not to notice that you cheat by hiding extra cash under your bum grin

He'd never expect you to stay in for him. I'd expect it. I'd expect a couple to want to stay in for each other!

I don't mean be superglued together grin and of course it's important to spend time with friends, but if it appears they'd rather eat shit than be with you - you've got a huge problem.

Mrsjay Fri 09-Nov-12 21:06:42

Play monopoly and pretend not to notice that you cheat by hiding extra cash under your bum

are you my husband <eyes him up playing on his mobile> that is what he does even with the children shock

HecatePropylaea Fri 09-Nov-12 21:08:44

Yeah. Get up and make me a cup of tea. grin

AgentZigzag Fri 09-Nov-12 21:08:45

The way you've worded that he can't go out but he can invite his friend round, and you saying no to him going out, is talking like you're his parent!

It does sound needy saying you're lonely and want to spend some time with him, I'm not saying it's wrong for you to feel that, you can't help how you feel, but it's not nice feeling you're being forced into spending time with someone when you'd rather do something else.

But that does leave the problem that he'd rather go to his friends than stay at home, and it may be nothing, but is that your problem or his? Is it his place to stop you from being lonely? I'm not sure.

SingingInTheRain1 Fri 09-Nov-12 21:10:23

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Mrsjay Fri 09-Nov-12 21:10:50

Yeah. Get up and make me a cup of tea.

YES DEAR grin

INeedThatForkOff Fri 09-Nov-12 21:14:50

He's being a bit of an arse, but was there really any need for you to stay home alone all week with a cold? Do you think he might be fed up of hearing about it?

SingingInTheRain1 Fri 09-Nov-12 21:17:51

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webwiz Fri 09-Nov-12 21:18:25

Well he can hardly be fed up with hearing about it INeedThatForkOff he hasn't been in all week.

AgentZigzag Fri 09-Nov-12 21:20:45

Is it too late for him to go over now?

It says something that he actually listened to you and stayed in (even though he's banging about and sulking), it would have been more of a problem if he'd just fucked off out IMO.

I wouldn't see it as giving in to his sulk saying you didn't set out to upset him and only wanted to spend time with him. Because of the way you've worded the OP it could be seen as a bit of a subtle power game on both sides, but if it really isn't there's no reason to not 'back down' IYSWIM?

SingingInTheRain1 Fri 09-Nov-12 21:28:33

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LaQueen Fri 09-Nov-12 21:28:41

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AgentZigzag Fri 09-Nov-12 21:39:29

I know what you mean about not expecting the reaction to be as OTT as you imagined, you start thinking back that you could have worded it differently and regretting saying anything in the first place.

But then he's in the wrong to have been so OTT and not just said it calmly, before going to his friends.

Maybe he got so annoyed because he knew that having to labour the point would inevitably hurt you because he'd be saying he'd rather go out?

I'm not very good at saying how I feel either and it can come out in ways I don't mean sometimes, that doesn't excuse being an arse, but it can be a valid reason.

I hate sulking, but I would class that to be regular and a long term tactic to punish the other person, not wanting to talk because you're so angry with the other person you might end up saying something you regret is something else.

Which would you say this is, knowing him as you do?

valiumredhead Fri 09-Nov-12 21:44:18

Will you not see him over the weekend?

Whoknowswhocares Fri 09-Nov-12 21:47:19

More to the point, do you want to see him over the weekend, given his petulance??

SingingInTheRain1 Fri 09-Nov-12 21:58:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead Fri 09-Nov-12 22:08:31

So couldn't he have gone out and you had a cuddle and catch up when he got in?

I'd be majorly pissed off if dh made a fuss about me going out tbh.

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