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To think I can't do this today...

(66 Posts)
MrsHelsBels74 Fri 09-Nov-12 07:44:01

Barely had any sleep last night as both sons kept waking up. DS1 is 2.9, DS2 is 7 weeks. DS1 was supposed to go to nursery today but has been so unsettled I think is best keep him home. My mum has been over since DS2's birth but went home yesterday so am missing the support.

So AIBU to want to beg my husband to stay home today & help out as I really feel like I can't do it myself?

addictedisback Fri 09-Nov-12 21:26:27

Congratulations! Well done, enjoy the weekend with dh and Monday will be easier, after all you've already done it once grin

Journey how old are your children? Do you have more than one? Do you remember what the early days were like? have my first biscuit

Grumpla Fri 09-Nov-12 21:17:53

And thee is no shame in accepting help when you need it, by the way smile

Grumpla Fri 09-Nov-12 21:16:54

Congratulations Helsbels you did it!!!

Is everybody fed? YES!
Is nobody dead? YES!

YOU WIN!!!!!

MrsHelsBels74 Fri 09-Nov-12 20:15:28

Well DH is home, the boys are going to bed so I made it! Couldn't have done it without you lovely nest of vipers grin

Journey Fri 09-Nov-12 18:48:04

I think you need to start managing on your own. You've relied too heavily on your mum. Once you've done it a few times on your own you'll get in the swing of things, rather than running to the phone for help.

KenLeeeeeee Fri 09-Nov-12 16:41:52

YANBU to be scared about managing by yourself, and you are not a failure for asking for help. Going from 1 to 2 kids was very scary at first, but you will find it easier bit by bit. Promise.

poocatcherchampion Fri 09-Nov-12 15:51:19

That's a huge difference from having someone living with you, to have a couple of hours help in the afternoon. Lucky you having parents there to help; I'm grateful for that too! Sounds like you are doing a great job!

NameGotLostInCyberspace Fri 09-Nov-12 14:39:14

Grumpla, your 1st post brought a tear to my eye. (soppy cow)! I have two and know how hard it is. Now they are 5 and 2 and you are absolutely right! smile

JugglingWithPossibilities Fri 09-Nov-12 14:34:20

Never be afraid to delegate ! It's a great art grin
Have a cuppa with DS2 whilst DS1 at Grannies brew

katiecubs Fri 09-Nov-12 14:25:56

Grumpla did you make that up?! LOVE it.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 09-Nov-12 14:20:30

Nope, you didn't know you were going to get help. And you know you would have managed if you had to. Which will make it much easier next time.

ds1 will get love and sympathy for his bang from the grandparents, you will get a break, your dh got to work. And (to add to the wonderful day), everyone is fed, no-one is dead.

It sounds like a success to me smile

QuickLookBusy Fri 09-Nov-12 14:17:21

Oh please don feel a failure Mrs

These first few weeks/months are the hardest with two dc. It takes a while to get used to having two Dc and to get over the birth! It's really not easy.
Your trip to A and E must have been scary too, I expect all sorts was running through your head about poor DS, you and him need time too get over that.

I expect MIL will love having your Ds for a few hours. Most Grannies do.

Have a sleep and promise not to be too hard on

MrsHelsBels74 Fri 09-Nov-12 13:39:39

Heard from MIL & DS1 is going to them for a bit this afternoon so I might be able to grab some sleep after all.
Part of me feels a bit of a failure for calling in help though blush

WileyRoadRunner Fri 09-Nov-12 13:11:13

You can do this.

It is scary going from one to two.

Soon you will adapt to the tiredness and be able to function without opening your eyes!

There is nothing wrong with a day in front of the TV. Especially as your eldest has got his head glued together!

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 09-Nov-12 13:08:02

Well done, you have got to the afternoon, so you are halfway there.

And you have been out of the house, a major achievement.

dvd's, chocolate, naps for everyone, and your dh to cook dinner. And the day will be over.

It will get easier.

MrsHelsBels74 Fri 09-Nov-12 13:04:11

Well we've been to the park. Had only been there 5 minutes when DS1 announced we had to go home hmm despite nagging to go!

MIL was apparently going to call this morning to offer help but I've not heard anything. We have a bit of an awkward relationship so I don't really want to call her.

Is it wine o' clock yet?

JugglingWithPossibilities Fri 09-Nov-12 09:32:59

Enjoy your little monsters MrsHels smile
- And I always found CeeBeebies was great and a life saver too
- nice to feel you have some company sometimes without having to leave the house smile
Hope you have a good day. If the in-laws are just up the road maybe MIL could pop round for a chat or you could walk up to theirs. Anything really to break up the day and they might like to feel needed now your Mum has gone home ? wink

MrsHelsBels74 Fri 09-Nov-12 09:19:29

I'm not going to do the drive, it's 14 miles each way & I'm just shattered. I have thought about finding a nursery closer to home but he's really happy & settled where he is & I don't want to totally throw his routine when a new baby had arrived.

The in laws are just up the road & DH is going to see if they can help out today, but part of me is determined to be stubborn & do it myself. I never doubted I could do it on my own really, I just didn't want to!

Think Monsters Inc will be on repeat play today!

JugglingWithPossibilities Fri 09-Nov-12 09:03:52

Well done on being brave and waving off DH for your first day with two on your own (for a few hours anyway)

Now time for a decision about DS1 and Nursery. What will be easier for you and make a better day for all three of you ? I don't think 14 miles is a really long drive so unless you feel completely wrecked it could be worth the initial effort of bundling everyone in the car to have a day just with DS2 ?
Or duvet, sofa, and DVD day sounds good - with chocolate !
I think regarding DS1's bump he's had a good 24 hours plus at home and been reasonably OK so Nursery should be able to look after him fine if that's what you go for.
Have a good day - We all remember it well and will be thinking of you.
Keep us posted - We'll be here for some company brew

addictedisback Fri 09-Nov-12 08:59:33

sorry missed the 15 mile drive, not such a good idea on no sleep.

But well done on letting dh leave the house with out begging him to stay!

now make the living room safe, close the door, put on a dvd and doze on the sofa with baby. Then think about going for a walk if every one is happy and awake (noting worse than taking grupmy toddler and grumpy baby on a walk with a grumpy mummy. it would be better all round to just put on another dvd!)

Fakebook Fri 09-Nov-12 08:58:45

YABU. Chances are 2 year old will conk out when he gets tired during the day. Leave your pyjamas on and put them both in your bed and have a siesta. Or camp out on the sofa with a dvd and Chocolate biscuits. That's what I'd do.

Grumpla Fri 09-Nov-12 08:54:40

Getting out for a walk is always a good plan but see it as a bonus rather than something you have to do! For the longer term, an all-in-one waterproof for the toddler makes trips to the garden / park much less stressful as can just put on over clothes and unpeel at front door and leave until DP comes home. Much less stressful than having to change completely / out of muddy clothes etc.

I assumed you had already ruled out the drive to nursery when I posted, definitely agree that if you are absolutely exhausted then 15 miles in a car with two children is NOT a terribly safe idea.

Do please remember to keep yourself fed & watered! It's sooo easy in those early weeks of juggling to suddenly get to absolute meltdown and realise you haven't eaten, drunk anything or weed for about six hours. NOT GOOD smile

3littlefrogs Fri 09-Nov-12 08:49:42

Your ds has had a head injury and probably now has a headache. No wonder he is unsettled.

I would suggest a duvet day for everyone. Honestly - he can't tell you how he is feeling, but I remember having a bad fall and a split forehead when I was about 6, and feeling really ill and headachey for days afterwards. The fact that i remember it clearly, 50 years on, is significant I think.

I definitely wouldn't drive 14 miles with 2 small children after no sleep. Did anyone see that programme about unsafe drivers this week?

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 09-Nov-12 08:46:47

Good for you.

Stay home, pretend it's snowing. I hope you have chocolate smile

And you can go for a walk after lunch, just to get out for an hour if you really need to.

Just try not to clock watch [voice of bitter experience]. Clocks go slower if you watch them too closely.

MrsHelsBels74 Fri 09-Nov-12 08:42:02

DH has gone to work without me sobbing or begging him to stay which is a start. DS1 is very tired & grumpy & has a cold so we may stay home, not decided yet.

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