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to think that you shouldn't be staring down my shirt?

(194 Posts)
TulisaLover Thu 08-Nov-12 23:00:24

I was leaning over sorting out some papers on my desk today and a colleague came up to my desk and started talking about a meeting the team were having. When I looked up I immediately realised where he had been looking and he got a bit flustered. I put my hand on my top to hold it against me and gave him a look of disdain back. Am i being unreasonable to think that any reasonable man would have averted their eyes? What would you do?

squeakytoy Thu 08-Nov-12 23:37:31

pmsl at "the ghetto".. we dont really have ghettos in london..

she drinks, smokes, takes drugs, and somehow gets really shit music in the charts, she is no role model..

Cozy9 Thu 08-Nov-12 23:37:46

Maybe the man should walk over to your desk with his shirt unbuttoned to the midriff and see if you look at his chest.

ecclesvet Fri 09-Nov-12 00:22:26

maddening Fri 09-Nov-12 06:37:46

If a bloke wears tights trousers and gets a builders bum you''ll prob look - not as it's sexy (far from it) but just as it's there.

MrsHelsBels74 Fri 09-Nov-12 06:43:21

I'm more offended if I've got my puppies on display & someone doesn't look grin

Seriously though, I don't get people who wear revealing clothing then complain if people look. Sometimes you just can't help it.

And pmsl at the ghetto comment.

Cynner Fri 09-Nov-12 06:56:16

sighs I am less than 5ft tall..someone is always looking down my shirt..

HecatePropylaea Fri 09-Nov-12 07:11:07

If a woman wears something that reveals her boobs - in a show almost to the nipple, jiggling flesh type of way, then I look. Same as if a bloke is wearing tight trousers and you can see the bulge.

I can't help it blush my eyes are drawn to it. The more I try to avoid looking, the more I look.

I think it's cos I know I really shouldn't look. iyswim. The more I try to ignore the heaving bosom or the trouser snake, the less I can.

It's really very embarrassing.

KenLeeeeeee Fri 09-Nov-12 07:20:13

TBH I'm kind of uncomfortable with the ethos of "if you wear a low cut top, you should expect people to look". I reserve the right not to be ogled and made to feel uncomfortable regardless of what I'm wearing.

Bunbaker Fri 09-Nov-12 07:23:21

You are right Ken, but you have to take human nature into account. Like most other posters on here if there is lots of flesh on display I can't help but look. It's the way of the world whether you like it or not.

KenLeeeeeee Fri 09-Nov-12 07:30:03

True, Bunbaker. I guess even my eyes would be drawn to it! I think it's more the idea that someone HAS to be ok about people looking iyswim. So I accept that people will look at my chest if I'm wearing something revealing, but it doesn't mean I have to be ok about that.

I'm not expressing myself very well at all, am I! Too early in the day and not enough coffee!

CarolynKnappShappey Fri 09-Nov-12 07:38:01

Leave Tulisa alone! She didn't "make a sex tape" in that sense - she made a poor choice of boyfriends and he then acted like a total git. She called him on it rather admirably, and pointed out that she herself had done nothing wrong apart from shagging a total scumbag.

On the OP I agree that it is human nature to gawp inadvertantly if there's a load of flesh on display, but since we weren't there, we don't know whether her colleague crossed the line into active leering.

ClitmassIsCumming Fri 09-Nov-12 07:38:08

The guy LOOKED down your top he didn`t GRAB your tits did he, crikey you can`t be offended when people look if they can be seen, and if Tulisa is a role model then kids today haven`t a hope in hell...confused

MrsBucketxx Fri 09-Nov-12 07:45:10

this sounds like a stealth boast to me "wo is me i have s great rack and someone looked" hmm

cover up polo necks and funky jackets are in this season.

GhostShip Fri 09-Nov-12 07:50:34

A role model hahahahaha

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Fri 09-Nov-12 07:58:00

Fucksake, YANBU. Can't fucking believe this thread.

I'm assuming you weren't wearing a Moulin Rouge corset, as others seem to be assuming? No? Then you have a perfect right to expect people to politely avert their eyes if you happen to briefly be in a position where norkage is in point. We can't all walk around permanently swathed to the neck. I would glance at a sudden flash of flesh too, it's human nature, but I wouldn't gawp for minutes on end until the other person looked up.

You did exactly the right thing though, in letting him know you had noticed. If he's a decent human being he'll have been a bit embarrassed at being caught and be more polite next time.

UltraBOF Fri 09-Nov-12 08:00:30

<still crying at 'ghetto' grin>

WorraLiberty Fri 09-Nov-12 09:26:38

We can't all walk around permanently swathed to the neck. I would glance at a sudden flash of flesh too, it's human nature, but I wouldn't gawp for minutes on end until the other person looked up

How do you know he 'gawped for minutes on end'? confused

The OP looked up and realised the guy had been looking MulledWine...exactly as you would have done yourself.

TulisaLover Fri 09-Nov-12 09:29:01

Thank you mulled. I knew I was not being unreasonable - the night time crowd almost had me convinced that I was though. And at all those who think Tulisa is a poor role model - who do you think is today if not her? I think she is the epitome of femininty.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Fri 09-Nov-12 09:30:46

The OP said in a subsequent post that "he was definitely ogling." I have to take that at her word; none of us were there.

WorraLiberty Fri 09-Nov-12 09:32:40

Mulled she was looking down so couldn't possibly have known

But I think this whole Tulisa thing is a wind up anyway...

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Fri 09-Nov-12 09:34:04

YANBU at all about the top, OP, but your idealising of celebs is definitely U. grin

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Fri 09-Nov-12 09:35:38

Like I say, Worra. We have to take her at her word, we weren't there. If she reckons she has reason to think the guy was ogling, that is what we must assume. Otherwise we could just go round putting "I don't believe you" under every thread, couldn't we.

TulisaLover Fri 09-Nov-12 09:36:34

I think a lot of people here are probably the type who engineer situations where they can look down tops mulled. They are probably constantly dropping pencils for others to pick up, o r asking for 'advice' on paint colours which requires their victim to bend over. It's shameful.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Fri 09-Nov-12 09:38:01


Well, I can partially excuse myself on the basis that everyone sounds like a fucking idiot when they talk about celebrities to me, I suppose...

WorraLiberty Fri 09-Nov-12 09:38:17

No I don't think we must assume something that doesn't make sense grin

The OP has said she 'looked up' and immediately realised where he had been she couldn't possibly know if he had glanced like you or I would...or if he had been stood there ogling.

But perhaps I'm being far too sensible for a Friday morning

My normal drunken crap will resume this evening wine

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