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was dh BU not to notice these children running off?

(6 Posts)
lecce Thu 08-Nov-12 21:47:44

Dh is a sahd and has got into the habit of going to the park everyday after school with one mum in particular, and another who often, but not always, joins them. In fact, we are all quite friendly and see each other at weekends / holidays as well. Dh frequently has these women round for coffee in the mornings as well.

The mum who is often but not always there has two sons the same age as our 2 (3 &5). Apparantly, although the park is just a few minutes from school they don't always all walk together but leave when it suits them and then catch each other up on the way, or see each other in the park.

Dh says that today he left with the first mum and her dd and was vaguely aware that the second mum's dses were both ahead with our 2, he wasn't really aware of where this other mum was but this is usual as there can be a big crowd walking that way with the dc going on ahead etc

Suddenly, the second mum tore past dh and marched up to her dc and gave them a huge telling off. She then stomped back to dh and shouted, in front of others, "Can you stop them from leaving without me in future - don't just let thme go on!". She then marched off and did not go to the park, despite having persuaded dh and the other mum to go to the park that she prefers.

Basically, she is blamng dh for the fact that her dc left the school without her and, according to dh, it must have been a good 3/4 minutes before she even noticed. Dh is quite pissed off and says that if she apologises he will be fine with her, if she is normal but doesn't mention it he will be normal but probably think less of her and if she brings it up again in a way that shows she feels he's done something wrong, she will get a piece of his mind.

IHBU?

MrsCantSayAnything Thu 08-Nov-12 22:00:58

She should not have shouted at him but I also think that DH wasn't completely innocent in this...we have similar arrangements after school and all adults communicate...."I'll take yours with me shall I?" isn't hard to say to another parent....I often say this to a friend at school when she's sorting something out in the office or chatting to someone else.

DH as "vaguely aware" which isn't good enough...bviously the Mother is also more at fault as they are her DC and she needed to see where they went.

whatatwat Thu 08-Nov-12 22:09:35

He was not unreasonable. Why is it up to him to stop her kids doing anything? She should have had them with her and then no issue would have happened.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Thu 08-Nov-12 22:12:20

Her children are her responsibility unless she has clearly and expressly made arrangements for someone else to watch them for her.
That said, when she finally stopped gossipping or whatever she was doing and realised she couldn't see them, she probably panicked and was terrified - those awful, heart stopping, blood freezing few seconds when you don't know where your child has gone confused - we've all had them and they are soul tearing... it was probably a combination of relief and fear and adrenaline speaking when she let rip at your DH, and she probably feels like the worst parent in the world and embarassed about it now.
The main thing is the children are safe and sound!

Floggingmolly Thu 08-Nov-12 22:13:08

What's wrong with him being "vaguely aware" that the kids were there? Their own mother wasn't aware at all! Unless he was specifically asked to look after them; they'd not necessarily been on his radar in the middle of the school letting out chaos.

Marzipanface Thu 08-Nov-12 22:15:30

Her responsibility and I think she knew it!

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