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To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

(723 Posts)
CandyLoo Thu 08-Nov-12 13:32:30

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

FeckOffCup Thu 08-Nov-12 13:35:29

Is there a reason you needed a chair, do you have a medical condition that makes it difficult/painful to stand for long? If so then YANBU but if you just fancied a seat and didn't feel like standing then YABU as they were there first and the mother probably told them to sit there so they would stay out of trouble and not touch anything while she was busy at the counter.

LimburgseVlaai Thu 08-Nov-12 13:36:59


When I was little, children always had to get up for grown-ups, on the bus, on the train, in a waiting room, wherever. I still expect it now, and make my own children stand up or sit on my lap.

What is weird is that it wasn't the mum muttering about this, but some random woman (or a I misunderstanding this?)

CandyLoo Thu 08-Nov-12 13:38:11

No, I don't have a medical condition.
It's just I feel the children should let adults sit down in what is obviously a busy pharmacy.
Just the way I was brought up, think it shows a lack of respect.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Thu 08-Nov-12 13:38:58

YANBU at all. It is basic manners for parents to get their little kids to stand up so adults can sit down.

CandyLoo Thu 08-Nov-12 13:39:07

The mum did just ignore the whole situation.
Lady next to me was just a random lady!

PickledFanjoCat Thu 08-Nov-12 13:39:32

I can sort of see your point as the 2yo could have sat on her lap.

It's a 50/50 conundrum in my mind as part of me thinks you might have been a touch snarky too.

Not helpful.

troubador Thu 08-Nov-12 13:39:53

YABU. You have no more right/need to a seat than them. Children aren't lesser beings/second class citizens to you just because they aren't adults.

How odd hmm

PickledFanjoCat Thu 08-Nov-12 13:39:56

I mean me not bring helpful btw!

PickledFanjoCat Thu 08-Nov-12 13:40:19

Yes troub. That's my other thought.

Firawla Thu 08-Nov-12 13:40:28

yabu if you didn't have a medical need for the seat. they were there first so rude to tell them to move! the mum could have moved them and put one on her lap to free up the space but yabu and rude to just tell the kids to move cos you want the seat. you wouldn't do it to an adult so why just do it to a child?

DeWe Thu 08-Nov-12 13:40:38

I am bemused that you say you have "no qualms giving up my seat.... if anyone needs it." In which case why did you feel it was necessary to have the seat? How do you know the child didn't need it? Or even how did you know they weren't ill?

SusanneLinder Thu 08-Nov-12 13:41:20

I totally agree OP, and YANBU. Surely you can control your kids by other methods than sitting down. I actually think it's very rude that kids have a seat when adults are standing.

CandyLoo Thu 08-Nov-12 13:41:27

But they're young!
I don't think they're second class citizens, just should be respectful to adults.

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 08-Nov-12 13:41:31

I don't understand this, why should you take priority over a child? What makes you so special? Oh and I would not let my children stand up on a bus ffs how stupid.

troubador Thu 08-Nov-12 13:42:20

Are you elderly, op?

I'm older than my kids (obviously) but wouldn't consider myself more in need of a seat than them.

How odd.

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 08-Nov-12 13:42:22

So what if they are young, respect as you say is a two way street.

CandyLoo Thu 08-Nov-12 13:42:34

Children not ill. They were not misbehaving. I just thought it was bad manners.

VolumeOfACone Thu 08-Nov-12 13:42:38

If you were ill, and tired, you should have asked for the seat without qualms of course.

If you just wanted to sit down to make a point about respecting your elders, to a pair of random preschoolers, then YAB a bit weird.

maudpringle Thu 08-Nov-12 13:43:16

I think you have a great sense of entitlement tbh

troubador Thu 08-Nov-12 13:43:51

You made someone move out of a seat that they were occupying by dint of getting there before you.

And they were bad mannered?

FWIW, I wouldn't have moved my children for you with no valid reason and a load of attitude. No way. You'd still be standing.

SufferingLampreys Thu 08-Nov-12 13:44:31

How do you know they weren't ill?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Thu 08-Nov-12 13:44:36

Op, it was certainly a case of bad manners. A lot of people do not know how to conduct themselves in a mannerly way nowadays and many don't even know the basic tenets of manners. YANBU! (as I said before!)

coppertop Thu 08-Nov-12 13:44:59

I tell my children that they/we may need to stand up if someone else comes along who needs their/our seat.

I wouldn't be impressed though if someone expected them to move because they wanted our seats, rather than actually needed them.

ChunkyPickle Thu 08-Nov-12 13:45:13

I think YWBU - yes, as a rule, I would get up/put my DS on my lap if someone came up and needed a seat (or stand up by DS - giving up my own seat) - but that is just my politeness - you don't have any more right to that seat than DS, and TBH, having DS on that seat is keeping him out of the way of the adults who can easily not notice a little one and barge into him/whack him with their bag/umbrella/whatever.

I hate this attitude that children are somehow second-class, and don't deserve respect as much as adults.

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