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Why does dealing with sick children always fall to me

(11 Posts)
altinkum Wed 07-Nov-12 07:05:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpottyTeacakes Wed 07-Nov-12 07:08:04

Dp and I 'share' when this happens. It's only happened a couple of times and I only do two days anyway but he still agreed it's both of our responsibility. In fact when I was ill he had the day off to look after dd so I could stay in bed. Tell him next time he has to be the one to stay home.

HecatePropylaea Wed 07-Nov-12 07:11:17

Because it's unfair that it is always the woman who has to drop everything to tend to the children. It implies that your job is less important than his. It implies that the children are by default your job not shared. And it implies that you are the one responsible for all things domestic.

Unless he takes his fair share of the taking time off when the children are sick, or his employers are difficult about time off and yours are not, or you will lose money you cannot afford to lose if he is off but not if you are, in which case I withdraw the above.

But if it's always you and there are no circumstances which mean it really has to be you - it's cos you're the one with the fanjo. And that means it's actually your job (in his mind) and he'll help you if and when he's able and feels like it.

note: help.

(this may be a soapbox subject of mine grin)

GilbGeekette Wed 07-Nov-12 07:16:11

What Hecate said. It always fell to me as well, without any discussion, by default. He's now ExH...

Not sure I have any helpful suggestions other than talk about it. Oh, and next time they're sick, clearly it's his turn to take time off. Hope they feel better soon, as well.

altinkum Wed 07-Nov-12 07:35:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PastaDee Wed 07-Nov-12 07:39:14

YANBU. DH and I take this in turns as far as is practical. I feel sorry for him as his work get really shirty about it but then again I feel sorry for myself as I have to take a day's leave but still end up staying up most of the night catching up with the work once DD is in bed!

AThingInYourLife Wed 07-Nov-12 07:42:56

You're feeling terrible because your work is suffering for your husband's lack of responsibility for his own children.

Bet he thinks he's an "equal" parent too hmm

Sokmonsta Wed 07-Nov-12 07:51:43

YANBU if you feel it's unfair. Dh and I work for the same company. They're awful if we need to take time off for sick children so as I earn less, it makes sense for me to be off if we have to lose a day's pay. We don't do the type of work where we could work at home either. But dh does help out with everything when he is at home, inc showering down poorly children, changing beds etc.

If its always falling to you and there's no real benefit to you being off, or loss to him, tell him it's his turn next time as you've an important piece of work to do.

sashh Wed 07-Nov-12 09:48:14

I'm thinking there should be some kind of child sickness insurance so if a child is ill you call the insurance and they send round a qualified nurse to look after dc.

OP could you get dh to come home at 3ish then go into work?

altinkum Wed 07-Nov-12 13:16:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 07-Nov-12 13:18:14

Just tell him that the next time this happens its his "turn" to take time off and stick to it.

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