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To tell his wife?

(12 Posts)
Thamesmead Tue 06-Nov-12 23:07:19

Before I met DH, I was on a popular dating website. The first guy I met was nice, but I figured out he was married. Then he told me he was married (I had already stopped seeing him) but still wanted to be friends. On a non romantic basis, I initially said ok and kept it all on line. He made it clear friendship wasn't what he wanted, so I declined and blocked him. Five times. Reported him to the dating website, and no idea how he kept getting around the block on IM on my computer.

Cue four flipping years later, and I had managed not to hear from him for a year, primarily because I finally said "contact me again and I print everything and send it to your wife". Cue today when I get an email, complete with his standard fake name but a picture, saying he has picturs he wants to share with me on Zoosk.

I am totally ready to follow through on my threat, but will it hurt the wife too much? FWIW I'm pretty sure I'm not the only girl he's chasing, and that the wife doesn't have a clue.

FreudianLisp Tue 06-Nov-12 23:10:46

Yuck. This is stalking, isn't it? I don't think that contacting his wife is the best way to deal with stalking.

WorraLiberty Tue 06-Nov-12 23:15:05

Are you sure it's not a generic 'everyone on his email contact list gets the mail'?

I don't know how dating sites work

katiecubs Tue 06-Nov-12 23:19:03

Umm he sounds unhinged. I'd be worried about contacting his wife - can you report him to the site/police.

Thamesmead Tue 06-Nov-12 23:36:07

I reported him to the first site. Nothing happened, even though I forwarded his emails to them. I don't think any dating sites send a generic email to everyone in your contact list - lots of people don't want anyone to know they're on them. He hasn't done anything criminal so the cops can't do anything.

Threatening to tell his wife first got the response that I would hurt her by telling her. I pointed out the decision was entirely his. If he didn't contact me, I wouldn't tell her. I think now I kind of have to or else I'm stuck with him for a lot longer and I want him to go away. But she does seem the innocent party. But wouldn't you want to know if your husband was pulling this crap?

greeneyed Tue 06-Nov-12 23:38:33

Completely ignore for now, see what happens - it could be generic for everyone in his contact list

Moominsarescary Tue 06-Nov-12 23:39:42

I get all sorts of odd emails from zoosk, even though I'm sure I de registered and haven't used it for about 4 years

Thamesmead Tue 06-Nov-12 23:47:13

Ah, that's interesting to know. Though this did seem a it personal at least. I'd been "added as a friend" and the subject line was X wants to share new photos with you. smile"

greeneyed Tue 06-Nov-12 23:50:14

Just ignore if he persists tell him you are about to press the send button!

Thamesmead Wed 07-Nov-12 00:04:48

There's no way I'm saying anything to him. I already said I'd do it. Now it is do or die time. Threatening again won't work with this guy - he stayed away for a year because he thought I was serious. "No, really, stop or ill do it I really mean it this time" will just up the crap from him.

AmberLeaf Wed 07-Nov-12 00:10:30

Be careful.

Zoosk is well known for spamming ex members and even people who have not been members [me]

Justforlaughs Wed 07-Nov-12 08:06:19

My gut reaction is to tell her, but if, as other people have said, Zoosk are possibly sending these on his behalf without his consent or even knowledge then that's different. I'd probably tell him that you have recieved this email and ask for an explanation.

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