Backstory: I am Australian and have lived in the UK for 10 years. I have not always had the best relationship with SIL, but as she appears to make my brother happy, I have tried to be nice to her. It does help that she lives on the other side of the world and I only have to see her for a week or so at a time every 1-2 years!
We (my new partner, 2DSS's and my DS) are going to see my family at Easter next year. I suggested to my DM that we might be spending some time visiting some theme parks while we are there, and would the rest of the family (DF, DM, Dbro, SIL, Dneice and Dnephew, and other DBro) would like to come along and spend a couple of days going to the theme parks with the children and generally spending time together.
I suggested we stay at the attached hotel, so less travelling and we can all enjoy a couple of days away together - as a family.
I also suggested we do this on Easter Sunday and Easter Monday as this would be convenient for our travel plans as well as meaning no-one would have to take time off work/school.
I said that if they couldn't afford it not to worry and we would still see them when we go over, so no loss really, but it would be nice to spend time together.
DM said she would speak to DBro, SIL and other DBro and would let me know. She spoke to Dbro and SIL on the weekend. Apparently SIL has said that they won't go as since we've organised it over the Easter weekend it will be too busy with too many people there (totally true - it will be busy but not so much that we won't be able to have fun!). BUT - the main reason they're not going is that it means SIL won't see her family on Easter Sunday.
Sil's parents and sister live 5 minutes from her house. They look after the children for them after school. They speak multiple times a day. They see each other every day and spend every Friday night at her parents house for pizza and a movie. They have spent every Easter and Xmas since my Dbro and SIL got married with her family (much to the detriment of my parents who would also like to spend time with the DGS and their DS and DIL).
AIBU to expect SIL to spend 2 days with me and my family without her family being present - especially when I am giving her 5 months notice and WE ARE TRAVELLING HALF WAY AROUND THE WORLD TO GET THERE?
SIL has also spent a lot of time in emails (and in person when I'm in Oz) telling me that DS should get to spend time with his cousins (ie her DC) and that I am depriving him of his family by living in the UK (guilt trip much?) Now that I am giving DS and DNeice and Dnephew time to spend together, she says no (probably because she wants them to see their cousins on her side - that they see everyday!)
Also - WIBU to tell SIL when I go home and she decides to invite her family to see me (which will happen) that it will be too busy with too many people and I'm there to see my family?
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AIBU?
To think that my SIL is a selfish cow? (long rant....!)
56 replies
HMTheQueen · 06/11/2012 18:06
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