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AIBU to do something I love?

(19 Posts)
grumpyinthemornings Tue 06-Nov-12 12:52:04

I'm auditioning to sing in a few bands. It's been my dream for as long as I can remember, and DP is very supportive. But lots of other people (mostly family) are telling me I'm being selfish and putting myself before my children, how will you look after them if it turns into a career etc.

AIBU to think it's none of their business? I'm obviously going to continue to take good care of DCs, but I want to do something for myself, too.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 06-Nov-12 12:53:35

YANBU. Having children does not preclude you from trying to achieve a dream.

ShamyFarrahCooper Tue 06-Nov-12 12:54:40

YANBU! Go for it! Your children will be fine and you will be happy.

Good luck!

Numberlock Tue 06-Nov-12 12:57:01

how will you look after them if it turns into a career etc

Same way as every other working parent manages I imagine...

Great to hear that your partner is supportive and best of luck with it all!

HappyJustToBe Tue 06-Nov-12 12:58:42

YANBU and I would hazard a guess that the people suggesting otherwise may be a little jealous. Good luck. I have a 17mo and go to a lot of gigs without it causing any issues though I jealously accept its different from actually being in a band

Northumberlandlass Tue 06-Nov-12 12:59:40

Go for it ! I sing - all be it with a society and I work, it takes up loads of time and energy - but my DS/DH are supportive and love coming to see me.

Singing is part of me and I would be a far more miserable person if I couldn't do it.

Everyone needs something for themselves. Give them a biscuit and tell them to 'jog on' smile

RuleBritannia Tue 06-Nov-12 17:43:31

Do it. You didn't say how old your DCs are but they'll be proud of you.

At school:
"What does your mummy do for work, A?"
"She stays at home."
"What does your mummy do, B?"
"She sings in a band."
"Wow!! Really!! Who with?!! Where? Can I have her autograph? Would you like to come to tea on Sunday? May I come to meet her?"

jendot Tue 06-Nov-12 18:25:59

Go for it grin
I'm in a theatre company (as well as running my own business full time) its the one thing I do for ME. I totally love it, I get to sing and dance and have made some fantastic friends and had some amazing times. It can be difficult fitting in rehearsals and show weeks are 'complicated' but it's so worth it. I think the kids benefit from having a happy, busy mum rather than a bored depressed one!

pjmama Tue 06-Nov-12 18:30:31

DH and I are in a band, that's how we met. I've sang in various bands for the last 20 years, just took a couple of years off to have twins! We just get babysitters when we have gigs, no biggie! Go for it and ignore the jealous.

thekidsrule Tue 06-Nov-12 18:34:00

omg dont be daft go for it

thats one thing i would love to be able to do (i seriously cant sing for toffe)

what a fantastic opportunity,it may never come round again


good luck op

MyLastDuchess Tue 06-Nov-12 18:45:11

How ridiculous! It never ceases to amaze me, the things people will say. I'd have thought that being a well-rounded person with hobbies and interests was being an excellent role model for a child. You don't have to be a martyr to be a great mother!

MummytoKatie Tue 06-Nov-12 19:18:06

Well I guess being realistic being a multi platinum album selling singer about to start a six month 17 country world tour is probably not the most family friendly career.

But singing in the evenings while your children are asleep sounds like a good way of getting a bit of me time whilst earning some money without really affecting the children at all.

Still - it's nice they all have faith in your talent!

hopenglory Tue 06-Nov-12 19:42:32

Get on and do it! I sing with a band, we gig two or three times a month and either the OH comes to watch (that's what babysitters are for) or he stays home with the kids. The weeks when we don't gig we'll rehearse, but again, it's an evening so the kids are in bed anyway.

We've done some afternoon gigs so I take the kids with me and they are very impressed.

Just do it, you'll have great fun, earn some pocket money and should it become a career well then you can worry about it.

grumpyinthemornings Tue 06-Nov-12 20:49:17

Thanks for all the support, it's nice to know I'm not a terrible mother for wanting to do this grin. I will let you all know how the auditions go smile

ninah Tue 06-Nov-12 20:50:36


ninah Tue 06-Nov-12 20:51:32

(waving lighter at ya... or, to update slightly, filming you on phone)

parakeet Tue 06-Nov-12 20:52:43

You won't know unless you try. Tell them you'll cross that bridge (of being successful) when you come to it. Then say it's not up for further discussion.

AdoraBell Tue 06-Nov-12 21:09:41

The rellies telling you you can't do this get to do what they want, being narrow minded and expecting every mother to be a slave to the DCs (I'd be willing to bet they wouldn't use the same argument with DP if he wanted to sing). Why shouldn't you get to do what you want to do? It will be far better for your DCs to grow up with a happy fullfilled role model than a parent who is just there to wipe up after them.

Go for it and enjoy it.

disclaimer. I don't believe that SAHM/Fs are just there to wipe up after the DCs, that's my interpretation of the OP's rellies' attitude. I may be wrong.

Whoknowswhocares Tue 06-Nov-12 22:32:31

Yabu. Obviously your life stopped entirely from the moment you gave birth and shall henceforth be fulfilling with a round of nappies, chores and teenage angst.

No? Me neither! Go for it! Ignore the jealous and stupid rellies and get on with your dreams. You only get one life and you don't ever know what is in store for you around the corner. Grab every chance at happiness and make the most of it.

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