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wanting to go back to work but finding it impossible???

(8 Posts)
TotalBummer Tue 06-Nov-12 12:05:34

I was made redundant (workied for a large bank) when DS1 was a baby. I could not find a job to fit in with DH's job so have been SAHM for a few years now.

I have tried to find a job over the past few years that fits in with now having 2 DS's. The only work I can actually find that fits in with everything is weekend/evening work but it didn't work out as it meant DH was giving up precious overtime which was double what I was being paid in my waitressing job.

Anyway, I have again been looking for work but am struggling as there is nothing out there just now and the one job I was put forward for a final interview for meant I would need someone to look after both DS before nursery, a nursery or CM for 8-6pm then someone to collect them from nursery and look after them until I get back to collect them at 7pm when I would likely get home from work.

This would cost WAY more than I would make at the full time position so I ended up having to forget it.

Do I just wait until the oldest starts school but then I will still need the same as above for both before/after school and a nursery place for DS2... The starting salaries for the jobs I am applicable for would cover only the nursery places leaving me no money for lunches/travel/anything else.

It seems impossible as it is becoming obvious we cant afford to have kids. The bills are going up and salaries staying the same and I can't afford to stay at home but I can't afford to go back to work either.

I know someone will say "Can't you find something to do to work from home?" like what? My mate said "How about stuffing envelopes?" I mean - that job doesn't even really exist any more as they have machines to do it. Avon etc are the same. They don't seem feasible and the money is shite. I sell stuff on Ebay when I can but I can't find a proper work-from-home job without having a speciality job that allows you to set up and work from home. I never know what jobs people are telling me are SO easy to get and "Can't you just work from home?" Like I am making this all up.

I don't know how people do this. I really REALLY don't. Yes, I should have worked harder at University to get a "proper" job when I left but there were no jobs then and the only jobs I have done are menial admin where you have to start at the bottom and work your way up within the company which doesn't allow for starting again when I have 2 kids to pay to go to nursery.

AND What the hell do you do when they start school and have in service days/holidays/go to school at 9am and home at 3pm????????/

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 06-Nov-12 12:12:27

You have to take the long view. Which is that, wherever you re-enter the workplace today, your income will not be huge and/or the cost of childcare will have to be shared between you and your DH equally... not all taken out of your wages. As your DCs get older, your status at work should increase, your salary improve and your child-care costs get lower. By the time they don't need any child-care at all, you should be well on the way to resuming your career.

So treat the child-care cost as a shared expense of being a family. A necessary sacrifice to get you back into work and keep you there .... high at first but getting lower. In my early years of motherhood (I'm single) I supplemented my child-care costs out of my savings.

IvantaOuiOui Tue 06-Nov-12 13:12:51

This is partly why I became a childminder.

pinkdelight Tue 06-Nov-12 13:18:23

Completely agree with Cogito. I've been making a loss for the years whilst I have two in childcare, but it's been worth it to keep progressing my career, and now the older one has started school, I'm starting to make money again, and this will increase when the younger one starts school.

Paying for full-time childcare is crippling, but you just have to forget that you ever had that money and reap the benefits of having a job in the longer term. And as for the practical school stuff, I use a CM for school pick-ups as needed and me and DH juggle time off between us. It's not easy but it's doable.

It sounds like your main problem is not being qualified for a job with prospects. I think you either have to embrace that and do cleaning or something unskilled part-time whilst using some childcare. Or you use this time when your kids are small to study (from home/in evenings, or part-time using creches etc) and get qualified so you have a clear career path sorted when they kids go to school.

It can be dispiriting, I know, but the worst thing is to throw your hands up and think it's all impossible. It is possible. People do it and so can you. Keep trying.

Anonymumous Tue 06-Nov-12 13:22:17

A friend of mine bought a Musical Minis franchise so that she could do the hours she wanted, when she wanted. Her pre-school child could go along to the sessions with her, and she could time them so she could pick her other son up from school. Could you try something like that?

cantspel Tue 06-Nov-12 13:23:53

Evening work in retail. Look at the large supermarkets, wilkinsons, and diy stores like b&q as they all have evening shifts.

Dozer Tue 06-Nov-12 13:26:16

Agree with cogito. Also, your DH may need to make more compromises in his working life to enable you to work, and for the longer term financial benefit of the family.

handwasher Tue 06-Nov-12 13:47:15

You could try:
Dog walking
Looking after peoples houses/pets whilst they are away (not staying but just checking in and feeding cats etc)
Market research calling (you can do this from your home in the evening)
Training to be a childminder
Working in a pre-school (often they pay for you do do qualifications once you get the job)
If you sell on ebay could you sell for others and then take a percentage of the profit (I have a friend who does this)
Buy a franchise for a childrens group
Train to do baby massage/baby swimming lessons
Domestic cleaning

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