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AIBU not to want to be called hun, love, darling, babe by strangers?

(62 Posts)
MissNJE Tue 06-Nov-12 12:01:32

It really annoys me. Last night I paid the cab driver and he said Thanks Darling. It is just one example but it keeps happening to me all the time. Sales assistants finishing their sentences with hun, love or babe. Strange people I meet on the street while waiting for the bus... I could go on and on but I am too angry. What to say in such situations or AIBU?

ShamyFarrahCooper Tue 06-Nov-12 12:02:24

No you are not. I hate it too. It can be really patronising.

blueballoon79 Tue 06-Nov-12 12:03:49

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! I actually find it rather misogynistic.

The same men who would call you hun, darling, love or babe would never speak this way to men would they?

I find it patronising and rude.

WitchesTit Tue 06-Nov-12 12:05:23

Are you new to this country? I'm not being snarky but it's always been done here in every part of UK, I like being called Sweetheart, Love, Dear, Dearie, Chuck etc.

Don't take offence and none will be meant.

squeakytoy Tue 06-Nov-12 12:06:33

For gods sakes.. .

A woman is quite likely to call a man "darling, hun, babe, sweetheart" just as much as a man is likely to call it to a woman.

Another woman is also likely to use non-gender specific terms of endearment to another woman too.

A man is more likely to call another man "mate" "guv" "pal"...

They dont know your real name, and they are just being friendly.

I would rather have that than "madam" which makes me feel about 75...

mumofthemonsters808 Tue 06-Nov-12 12:07:06

Not a problem for me, I've been called alot worse.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe Tue 06-Nov-12 12:08:01

It's just people's way of being friendly. confused

What's there to be offended / patronised about?

imnotmymum Tue 06-Nov-12 12:08:12

It depends on who is doing the said darlingness things. I am OK with taxi driver, builder but hate shop people saying it male or female to me except the lovely older lady one shop who calls me Darling in her lovely east end accent. I do hate hun and babe by anyone though.

ShatnersBassoon Tue 06-Nov-12 12:08:17

I don't even notice it, being surrounded by friendly northern types, mi duck.

Mrsjay Tue 06-Nov-12 12:09:23

Whats that love grin It doesn't bother me the loves sweetheart even dear (that makes me old though) i dislike babe or hun It makes me cringe but YABU it is just people being friendly thats all

WorraLiberty Tue 06-Nov-12 12:09:34

It's much nicer than cunt

Lol I don't know why some people get wound up over what others choose to call them when they're being friendly.

It really isn't worth the angst.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 06-Nov-12 12:09:43

A thing I love about Nottingham is that 'duck' is used by men to other men, as well as to women.

Hun sounds quite intimate to me, more than patronising, it suggests a very close relationship. I find it odd and uncomfortable when other women use this. It feels very 'huggy' and makes me feel I must seem very formal and unfriendly. I am at least used to the 'darling' nonsense from men. Hunning seems a more recent phenomenon (post-Diana?).

imnotmymum Tue 06-Nov-12 12:10:35

That said not patronised or offended just do not like the term makes me feel 14.

SoleSource Tue 06-Nov-12 12:10:56

I don't feel comfortable either with it. Yack!

Mrsjay Tue 06-Nov-12 12:10:57

being surrounded by friendly northern

my yorkshire friends says you alright lovey makes me all warm and fuzzy it is lovely,

In scotland it is Hen as in you awrite hen

Binkyridesagain Tue 06-Nov-12 12:11:45

I lived in Nottingham for a few years and everyone is called 'mi duck'
I hated it but love, darling, Hun don't bother me, but that is what I'm used to

WhizzPopBangWheeee Tue 06-Nov-12 12:12:42

Bloomin' eck, some people just love to be offended for the sake of being offended, don't they?!
You'd soon be moaning if you got a miserable git cab driver who only spoke in syllables or grunted at you.
You get a friendly, cheerful one and guess what?! People STILL moan!
Maybe the neanderthal grunty type ones have the right idea as seems you can't win whatever you do. hmm

SouthernComforts Tue 06-Nov-12 12:13:24

I'm a barmaid. I usually say thanks love or cheers darlin.

I'm up north and I very rarely get addressed by a customer without being called 'love' 'pet' or 'chick'

I like it. But I can't say YABU because it's your personal opinion.

imnotmymum Tue 06-Nov-12 12:14:00

AAH I have originally from the Midlands and remembering my Dear old Grandad saying Duck. Have not heard that for ages sad

WorraLiberty Tue 06-Nov-12 12:14:05

My old neighbour calls me 'Treacle', 'Petal' and 'Flower'.

When he asks me how I am and I reply "Fine thanks"

He then says "Good girl"

I imagine that would have some MNetters reaching for the blood pressure pills grin

I love it though, he's a lovely man.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 06-Nov-12 12:14:59

"Hen" always makes me smile.

Tweasels Tue 06-Nov-12 12:17:40

Depends on the intention doesn't it?

Most people say it nicely I think. I live reet up North where friendly names are used quite readily without a hint of misogyny or sexism.

Certainly not worth getting so angry about pet.

ViviPru Tue 06-Nov-12 12:18:38

Doesn't bother me a jot, duck.

Mrsjay Tue 06-Nov-12 12:18:49

e then says "Good girl"

but you are a woman wink

nokidshere Tue 06-Nov-12 12:19:15

good god - is there anything people don't get het up by?

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