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AIBU to think kids are going to cause me a nervous breakdown?

(25 Posts)
3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 08:14:07

I'm really not coping at all sad been to drs they prescribed antidepressants but they made me feel really ill and cause a large weight gain which will make me more upset. I'm struggling so much I rang my DP at work and told him I can't do this anymore :0

PhyllisDoris Tue 06-Nov-12 08:22:59

3plus - you can do it!
You might think that you can't, but you are, and you can. One day at a time. Don't stress the small stuff, like house work. Get out as much as you can for walks, park etc and have a plan for each day ( though its only a plan so don't stress when it goes wrong)
Fresh air is great for making everyone feel better and sleep better. Enrol the kids in some daytime activities, so you have time for yourself, or time with fewer kids if you can't get them all in activities at the same time. YOU CAN DO IT!smile

Tailtwister Tue 06-Nov-12 08:24:27

It sounds as if you're having a really tough time OP. I don't know if you might be better getting this moved to the Mental Health forum.

You sound as if you need some help. Are you a SAHM? Can you lighten the load by using any free childcare hours? Are there any family or friends who can help in the short term? What was your DH's response when you called him?

I'm sorry to fire so many questions. I just didn't want your post to go unanswered.

3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 09:12:36

DP works long hours and I feel so bad cause I told him that they will have to go to foster care cause I can't cope . They squabble and fight whatever I say they don't give a toss even if I take away tv time etc they just shout I don't care bla bla bla! My my little one terrorises the big one so the big one screams and cries ! I feel terrible now cause if what I said will mean everyone is going to have a crappy day sad

glentheflamingbattleostrich Tue 06-Nov-12 09:15:18

How old are they? Can you offload them for a couple of hours or afford a couple of hours a week childcare?

What about a homestart volunteer to come in? Would that help

Where do you live?

3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 09:20:10

The older 2 are at school then I'm left with baby think its PND but I can't take meds as they are horrid sad gp is hopeless . I. Sure ill get better just needed a rant on here....

maddening Tue 06-Nov-12 09:21:29

So are you not taking the ADs? If they make you feel ill your Dr should be able to work with you to find the right ones?

How old are your dc? Do you have family near?

maddening Tue 06-Nov-12 09:22:15

Can your GP get you counseling?

BeckAndCall Tue 06-Nov-12 09:25:18

Poor you OP - you need some time to yourself.

Is there any chance your youngest can go to a childminder one morning a week just to give you some breathing space? Or maybe to a grandparent or an aunt or a good friend? Just one half day would help....

3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 09:27:44

I will see if my friend can help out at the weekend so maybe me and DP can go out ?

BeckAndCall Tue 06-Nov-12 09:32:05

Good idea. But is there anyone who can help out during the week so you can just get a minute to yourself?

Mrsjay Tue 06-Nov-12 09:37:57

aww lovey sad is there anybody who can help out with the baby or take the older kids after school , call your health visitor ask if their is any groups in your area that can help out a sure start centre maybe or Homestart do help families under pressure with under 5s , dont feel alone and isolated maybe counsilling (spelling) rather than Antids they dont agree with everybody, I had PND when dd was younger and i couldn't take them,

google Homestart <your area> they could help you

3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 09:54:33

Thank you v much as I said my gp is hopeless she told me ad's should not cause drowsiness or nausea ? Even tho on the box they were most common side effects ? It's really hard to get an appointment too I get all worked up ringing cause I can never get through sad don't really have money for childminder tbh and all my family work full time

AitchDee Tue 06-Nov-12 09:58:11

Where are you? If you are close to west Dorset I will come and help and offer practical support with the children. I promise it will get better

Mrsjay Tue 06-Nov-12 09:59:41

if you cant get an appointment or feel you can't get your doctor to listen to you , call the health visiting team and ask somebody to come and see you they will have resources to support you

YourHandInMyHand Tue 06-Nov-12 10:01:08

OP can you change GPs? I know faffing about doing this probably feels like the last thing you want to do but you need a good supportive GP.

How about a HV? Do you have a good one? Or if your's is a bit mediocre go to one of the drop in baby weighing sessions and speak to whichever HV is there.

Homestart are a good source of support and as you have an under 5 you would be eligible. They just provide another mum as a befriender and source of support.

Can your DP book any annual leave?

I've been on ADs in the past, and just recently started some new ones - nearly all of them have side effects for a week or two which then pass and you will be okay. How long did you take the ADs for? I do think from the sounds of it you need a new GP.

Mrsjay Tue 06-Nov-12 10:02:42

They just provide another mum as a befriender and source of support.
^ ^ this they are non judgemental and do offer a bit of support and friendship

Mrsjay Tue 06-Nov-12 10:03:24

OP what did your husband say when you rang him does he realise how unhappy you are or do you bottle a lot away

MsVestibule Tue 06-Nov-12 10:07:15

Insist on seeing a different GP. I know ADs aren't a cure-all, but Prozac really got me through the sort of time you're talking about. Feeling the way you do is absolutely horrendous and at times I really thought that my children would be better off with another family.

Do you spend enough time with them? I don't mean that critically, but I always found that my DCs behaved much better when I was playing/reading with them, rather than seeing them as an inconvenient interruption to the housework blush. (The basics, not dusting skirting boards.)

When your DH is home, does he do his share of childcare and/or housework?

3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 10:16:19

I'm in north London , I will look into home start even some company would be good , DP used all his annual leave after paternity leave to help out in the early weeks which was lovely. I've only met health visitor once ? I haven't been to clinic for a while couldbt go last week as it was half term and eldest wasn't well didn't want to spread it to the babies. Didn't go today cause was really not in the mood to talk to anyone so jus came home to hide !

3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 10:17:11

As for AD's I'm bfeeding San prozac was a no no , ice had prozac before and I had no problems with it...

3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 10:17:27

Sorry typos ..

Mrsjay Tue 06-Nov-12 10:18:31

Didn't go today cause was really not in the mood to talk to anyone so jus came home to hide !

((hug)) you really do need a friendly face to help you out

3plus2 Tue 06-Nov-12 10:30:35

I really wasn't I'm fed up acting all happy and cheery all the time . I'm always the one cheering everyone else up and people always say how happy I am ....... When I'm really bloody miserable sad DP knows I am I' tell him all the time but what can he do ? He does try but it's down to me and I feel like I'm drowning at the moment sad

3plus I can't really offer any practical help because I'm too far away, but I really want you to believe that this can, and will get better.

You need to go back to your gp, or see a different gp. Or can you contact your hv? Anti depressants made a huge difference to me, as did some counselling.

Can I put a call out on the chat board for anyone in your area who could offer some support? There are many lovely people on here who would be more than happy to chat to you.

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