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Granny took toddler to the cemetery

(201 Posts)
MrsMoosickle Mon 05-Nov-12 23:08:10

Eeek! I might perhaps be a tad unreasonable but I'm not best pleased.

3 year old DD has been at the local cemetery with Granny and has come home with tales of little babies in heaven and teddies on trees and wind chimes they can hear from heaven.

DH thinks that's ok, I feel a bit sad that she's even thought about it at such a tiny age.

MrsCantSayAnything Mon 05-Nov-12 23:09:48

It's a bit maudlin to tell a toddler about heaven etc unless you're religious..but imo kids LIKE all that. They do.

So yabu really. Having said that, what are your plans to tell DD about death?

I tell mine all kinds of things.

WizzPopWizzBang Mon 05-Nov-12 23:10:02

Did she take him to see a specific persons grave or just for a look around?

skateboarder Mon 05-Nov-12 23:10:04

Was it an anniversary for someone close to granny?

MaryMotherOfCheeses Mon 05-Nov-12 23:10:41

Sounds like it was handled in a very age appropriate way.

WorraLiberty Mon 05-Nov-12 23:10:43

I think it's beautiful in its own way really.

Death is a part of life that none of us can escape and if your DD is being taught about it now, that should hold her in good stead.

Cemeteries are the 'pretty' part of death IYKWIM and if she's going to learn about it at all, the 'pretty' part is probably the best place to start.

SirBoobAlot Mon 05-Nov-12 23:10:45

Hmm... I feel mixed on this one. On one side of things, death is a natural part of life, and we shouldn't be as afraid to talk about it as we are. On the other hand, DS is the same age, and I would be quite upset to hear him talking like that.

Is it your mum or DHs mum?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 05-Nov-12 23:11:01

I think that's fine. Plenty of time for the harsher realities eventually, and nothing wrong with her beginning to realise about death.

MrsCantSayAnything Mon 05-Nov-12 23:11:42

Yes Worra is right.

BrittaPerry Mon 05-Nov-12 23:11:51

We have taken ours, but no talk of babies in heaven, just that is a place to remember dead people, who were mostly old, but some were little.

2yo dd2 couldn't have cared less, 5yo dd1 wanted to know how everyone died and what their bodies look like now.

JoyceDivision Mon 05-Nov-12 23:12:03

Mine are quite well versed on skelinbobs (as we call them!) and they visit their grandparents rosebush in the crematorium. They often tell dh they have been filling his plants with memories! crap like leaves twigs -stones-- and -such-- like

FizzyLaces Mon 05-Nov-12 23:12:07

Nowt wrong with that, I don't think. I have done that with my little one, cemeteries are beautiful, peaceful places.

missymoomoomee Mon 05-Nov-12 23:13:04

I'm so sorry your pfb had to think about it, my kids had to live through their sister dying when they were around that age and all the harsh realities that entails. FFS this is a really insensitive thread.

Theas18 Mon 05-Nov-12 23:13:41

That's life! . People and even babies do sometimes die. Why hide it and give it an undue mystery and scariness?

nothing scary or inappropriate happened by the sound of it.

No mountains out of molehills and it'll soon fade in your dds memory

Rindercella Mon 05-Nov-12 23:14:07

Not sure whether or not yabu. Was she going there anyway to visit the grave of someone? If so, I think you probably are bu. However, if she took your child there specifically to mawk at graves of unknown people then you're not.

Death is part of life and I personally don't think it does any harm to talk about it with children in an age appropriate way.

mellowdramatic Mon 05-Nov-12 23:15:17

Cemetries are a good tight budget day out - good for reading skills/nature/ghost stories/hide and seek/peace and quiet. Nothing to worry about!

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 05-Nov-12 23:15:41

I wouldn't worry about it,might have just been visiting a grave and your dc was asking questions?

In saying that,I was taken to a babies funeral by my grandparents aged 3/4 and my parents were not best pleased.

Theas18 Mon 05-Nov-12 23:17:01

Missymoomee. Much hugs to you and yours.

MrsMoosickle Mon 05-Nov-12 23:18:12

No anniversary or anything at all, just think it was a little walk through. Its my mum and all a little out of character....they usually go to ceramics FFS! DDvisxa sensitive child and has talked about it all night.

SirBoobAlot Mon 05-Nov-12 23:18:17

Ooh Mellow that brings back memories!!

MrsMoosickle Mon 05-Nov-12 23:18:35

DD is a

JoyceDivision Mon 05-Nov-12 23:19:03

missymoomoomee I'm sorry for your loss.

I appreciate the subject is very upsetting for you. The thread isn't intending to be insensitive. People are just weighing up if it is appropriate to do this.

My dc go to the crematorium to visit and pay respects to their grandparents. When my gran (their great gran) died, they were able to understand that she had passed away, it was upsetting for people but that it was ok for people to be upset and why, and it helped them be comfortable and ask questions about it rather than be scared and upset and not comfortable.

Spero Mon 05-Nov-12 23:19:24

Sounds a lovely, sensitive introduction to something that she is going to have to come to terms with at some stage. Don't see the problem.

whiteandyelloworchid Mon 05-Nov-12 23:19:31

i'm with missy, my dd had to deal with her baby brother dying when she was four, i think this thread is really out of order, shame on you op

<links arms with miss>

Rindercella Mon 05-Nov-12 23:19:50

Have changed my mind and think yabu regardless of the reason. All too sadly some children are confronted with the death of a loved one and what your mother/mil did was a really gentle introduction to the fact that all life ends. Whether its a guineapig, dog, grandparent, parent or a sibling, your child will encounter it at some point.

Yesterday I took my 5 year old and 2.7 year old to a church service where their daddy was remembered, amongst other people. I wish they didn't have to experience that.

Moo, hug to you xx

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