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To love more than one person but in different ways?? <not cheating/affairs>

(24 Posts)
DistressedMumHELP Mon 05-Nov-12 20:38:20

Someone pointed out to me that i seem to love a lot of people, I dont feel that i do love too many people at all, so here are all the people i love and how i love them:

My son: Because he is my reason for carrying on, he is all my reasons.
Junior: My eldest, unborn baby, was found with no heart beat 28/6/2006
Littley: My middle child, unborn baby, was found with no heat beat 29/8/2009
My Mum: cos she is my mum
My dad: though i never knew him
A close friend C: because when i needed someone most though they had only known me a few weeks has stood by me.
My best friend: cos she is always there no matter what.
My first love: Because though we live hundreds of miles apart we are still in contact though we went 8 years without a single word after we split up
A close friend's little brother: because he is sweet and checks i am okay and listens, and understands to a degree.
Another friend: because he listens and worries about me and me him, cos he needs someone to keep him on the straight and narrow
My high school bestie though we speak occasionally now, because growing up she was like a sister
Luke: My big brother, though not by blood, because he has given me so many happy memories and was snatched away from us so young

It seems a long list i suppose especially if people hear me on the phone say love you.

EleanorHandbasket Mon 05-Nov-12 20:40:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 05-Nov-12 20:41:52

Have you changed those dates and names? Because if you haven't, that is a very identifying post and I would report it and ask MNHQ to get rid.

littlemisspumpkin Mon 05-Nov-12 20:43:13

I dont think there is anything wrong with loving more than one person, as you say it's different kinds of love anyway! You must just have a big heart grin

JazzyTheSnowman Mon 05-Nov-12 21:34:20

I can honestly say I love a lot of people, because there a delineating degrees of "love".

Parental Love - for children
Familial Love - for members of your family
Friendly Love - for close friends
Fond Love - for that one person you always think fondly of, whether it's your first crush/first boyfriend/cousin you were close to as kids
Nostalgic Love - for the people you've known your whole life
One True Love - for your partner/significant other

abbierhodes Mon 05-Nov-12 21:37:29

No offence, but that's the sort of attention seeking nonsense the girls in my year 10 class go on about. How old are you? hmm

SunflowersSmile Mon 05-Nov-12 22:14:05

Don't worry about loving too many people.
It sounds like you have had some difficult times and I hope you get lots of love back.
Take care.

JustSpidero Tue 06-Nov-12 01:15:31

Better than not having enough people in your life to love smile.

Vagazzled Tue 06-Nov-12 01:26:13

Abbier, did you mean to sound so rude? hmm

VintageRainBoots Tue 06-Nov-12 01:55:57

I love many people. In fact, I love many men, including my husband (obviously) and even some ex-boyfriends. You don't stop loving someone just because they're no longer in your life or your relationship didn't work out. That would be such a shallow way to love someone.

There are three ex-boyfriends that I still love dearly, and it would break my heart if anything bad happened to any of them, even all these years later. I'd never have an affair with any of them, but I will always have a special place in my heart for all of them.

That said, I love my husband so much. I certainly love him in some unique ways---he's the father of my child, for example, and I love him for the wonderful life we live together---but I've never felt more "romantic love" for him than anyone else.

All that said, I'm probably the least romantic woman on Earth. I don't believe in soul mates, for example. Or, if we do have soul mates, then I must have more than my fair share of them because I've been fortunate enough to have some wonderfully incredible men in my life.

dolcelatte Tue 06-Nov-12 05:21:43

You have lost your fathe, your brother and two babies. It is entirely natural and wonderful that you now 'count your blessings' by cherishing those you have (including the ones you lost).

EleanorHandbasket Tue 06-Nov-12 07:10:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lougle Tue 06-Nov-12 07:36:50

Well put Eleanorhandbasket, and DMH, you are doing the Freedom course, so you know better. You have SS input, and your DS has been removed, in part, because of your lack of boundaries and naivety with risky people, yet still you are posting these sorts of threads which show a complete lack of awareness. You say you want your DS back, but you are still posting threads like these which show that you still can't assess relationships sensibly.

You are an adult now.

Lougle Tue 06-Nov-12 07:40:55

" A close friend C: because when i needed someone most though they had only known me a few weeks has stood by me."

C is male, isn't he? So straight after your DS is removed, with past of the concern being all the males you bring into his life, you develop a 'close' friendship with a man who you have only known a few weeks. I despair.

gymboywalton Tue 06-Nov-12 07:50:14

there is obviously history here so maybe i shouldn't post but i think most people love a variety of others don't they?

i don't just love my husband and my sons, i also love my mum and my siblings and nieces and nephews and my parents in law and my husband's grandparents etc
i love my oldest friend who i have known for 30 years.

This is just normal surely?

mutny Tue 06-Nov-12 07:59:52

Who pointes this out?
Why did they? What was the conversation?

dontlaugh Tue 06-Nov-12 08:05:42

You are being very unreasonable, given your current situation, not to have put yourself at the top of that list and then closed the list.

Cortana Tue 06-Nov-12 08:05:53

Eleanor and Lougle are right. I've seen so many of your threads.

"Another friend: because he listens and worries about me and me him, cos he needs someone to keep him on the straight and narrow"

You do not need someone in your life who needs keeping on the straight and narrow. If you really want your boy back you need to focus on him and you. No one else. You let a man into your life who bit and punched your toddler, please think carefully about who you let into your lives.

squeakytoy Tue 06-Nov-12 08:06:35

lost cause... sad

Morloth Tue 06-Nov-12 08:28:34

Distressed reading your posts is like watching a slow motion train wreck.

If you want that little boy back you are going to have to get a grip, stop 'loving' other people and waffling on about them and focus completely and totally on your son.

laughtergoodmedicine Tue 06-Nov-12 12:56:54

Distressmum....Its so complex...this business of human realtionships...Is a 60 year marriage natural for most men? And women for that matter. ? (I dont know answers)

Lougle Tue 06-Nov-12 14:50:07

laughter it's not that hard to understand:

Social services take child, unsafe relationships noted -> STOP allowing randoms such trust and privilege in your life.


Social sevices take child, unsafe relationships noted --> Continue allowing randoms such rust and privilege in your life to the extent that you 'love' a 'male friend' within a few weeks of knowing them.

Which of those behaviours do you think would communicate to Social Services that the OP genuinely understands her difficulties and is willing to overcome them in the time frame required to regain custody of her DS?

Actions will always speak louder than words. Words are cheap.

Lougle Tue 06-Nov-12 14:50:28


abbierhodes Wed 07-Nov-12 00:11:49

Vagazzled- yes. Hth.
hmm right back atcha.

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