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AIBU not to go to SIL's Las Vegas wedding and go to Florida instead?

(186 Posts)
notso Mon 05-Nov-12 13:40:25

DH and I have been saving to go to Florida with DC for two years, we were planning on going next year.

SIL has decided to get married in Las Vegas next year.
We have been invited however the itinerary is not child friendly. Our 4 DC could attend the ceremony and meal but the rest of the five day celebration is just for adults.
My parents have offred to look after DC so we could go however DD 13 is already very upset that she is missing the wedding and DH and I decided that we wouldn't want to go without her and upset her further.

It has now been suggested by PIL that if we can go to Florida then we can go to Las Vegas, and "people" will be greatly offended if we miss her wedding for a holiday.

DH doesn't want to upset his family, but we really want to have our holiday.

ssd Mon 05-Nov-12 13:41:27

are you serious go to florida

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Mon 05-Nov-12 13:42:49

I think the fact that it isn't child friendly would put me off. If you have been saving for so long for a family holiday, its only fair that the family get a holiday.

She is getting married in Vegas by her own choice, so she can't expect everyone to be able to come along unfortunately.

If it is a matter of one or the other, I would go with the family holiday. If there is any way you can do both, I would and leave the kids with gps.

squeakytoy Mon 05-Nov-12 13:43:00

Internal flights in the USA are not normally too extravagant, so perhaps you could do a two-centre holiday. There is a lot in vegas for kids, so you could make up your own itinery too.

FireOverBabylon Mon 05-Nov-12 13:44:25

You have 4 children, your SIL has a 5 day shock wedding which cannot accommodate them, therefore you are taking your children on the holiday you'd planned.

ThatArtfulPussy Mon 05-Nov-12 13:44:26

Is there anyway you could combine the two? Ie two nights in Vegas to cover the wedding itself or something but the rest of your time in Florida? If not, then go to Florida and enjoy it - it's no holiday for you if you're spending the family budget without the family being there to enjoy it.

Scroobius Mon 05-Nov-12 13:45:48

Why not go for the wedding bit then have your holiday in Florida? Once you've paid to get to America it doesn't seem unreasonable to go to 2 places.
YANBU about not going to Vegas though if you don't want to; I wanted to get married abroad (in Vegas in fact) but also wanted my family there so stuck to the UK. If people want you to be at their wedding they shouldn't make it so difficult and expensive to go, especially with the whole none child friendly thing. My wedding was no children but we weren't then offended when my cousin said he couldn't come as getting a babysitter for 4 DSs wasn't possible....

givemeaclue Mon 05-Nov-12 13:47:03

Go to Florida.

ElectricMonk Mon 05-Nov-12 13:47:52

YANBU. If it was vital to her that you attended, she would have had the wedding in England, made it more family-friendly or budgeted to subsidise your trip. There's nothing wrong with getting married abroad but, unless you make those kinds of provisions, you must be understanding when relatives decide that it's not viable for them to come.

A rare family holiday which you have been saving for 2 years to have should absolutely come before your SIL's extravagant whims and your PIL's selfish preferences.

Sugarice Mon 05-Nov-12 13:48:46

5 day celebration! shock.

Go to Florida with your dc's and have a wonderful holiday.

TheMummyLovesAScareFest Mon 05-Nov-12 13:49:28

I'd 2nd whats posted ^^ there. internal flights really are reasonable. we had a similar problem a few years ago. We booked a Florida villa for 2wks and took a 2 day break in the middle to visit a family wedding in Chicago. A break from Disney and the heat was good and we had our villa to come 'home to' smile

notso Mon 05-Nov-12 13:53:30

We have had a look at going from Florida to Las Vegas but the wedding is five days after the start of our holiday which seems like a right faff.

DoodleAlley Mon 05-Nov-12 14:03:10

Go to Florida.

Meet SIL and her fiancé in person to explain your been saving for holiday in florida and can't afford to join the two up.

Could you then offer to do some kind of celebration on everyone's return?

DoodleAlley Mon 05-Nov-12 14:04:13

Oh it sounds like you have already booked. No brained then, just explain you can't afford to extend it to include las Vegas.

If you get married abroad you must understand this might happen.

WilsonFrickett Mon 05-Nov-12 14:07:57

So have you already booked Florida then, and at the same time as the wedding? In which case, it's a no-brainer - you can't go.

If you haven't booked then I would definitely look at a two-centre thing, you will probably enjoy 2 nights in Vegas in the middle of the theme park-fest.

VoiceofUnreason Mon 05-Nov-12 14:09:45

It always amazes me that some people get arsey about family and friends not attending their wedding when the happy couple have decided to get married abroad. Not everyone is made of money - in fact, it amazes me that when the OP has clearly said they have had to save up for this family holiday than others above have suggested they simply make it a two centre holiday. Where do they think the money is going to come from???

You can't always have your cake and eat it. If you want to marry abroad and want everyone there, well, pay for all their flights. Otherwise, why not have your wedding abroad, just the two of you, very romantic, then renew vows and have a big reception for friends and family when back home?

And Vegas? Ew, how tacky a wedding is THAT likely to be (sorry to anyone who chose to marry there)? And contrary to an above poster, I really don't think your DCs would enjoy it.

YANBU. Go to Florida. If SIL doesn't like it, tough. It's HER fault you're not able to go by choosing Vegas, not yours.

VonHerrBurton Mon 05-Nov-12 14:10:13

YANBU. There are ways around it - personally I would do the Florida - Vegas flight for a day or two, even if it was just me, I would want to see my sister get married, we are very close.

However, with that in mind, my sister would not have expected me, with 4 dc, to schlep over if we (as a family) were not welcome at the whole thing! Sounds as though she wouldn't be broken hearted if you didn't go, iykwim.... blush

Trills Mon 05-Nov-12 14:11:05

YANBU to not go to a wedding if it is somewhere inconvenient.

ENormaSnob Mon 05-Nov-12 14:14:34

I would go to Florida.

If people choose to get married abroad they shouldn't moan when people can't/won't attend.

VonHerrBurton Mon 05-Nov-12 14:15:47

Oh, take no bloody notice of shit stirring PILs. What do 'people' expect you to do with your children once the meal's over?! Let them wander around LV aimlessly while you whoop it up for four days?

Sheesh. My opinion on marriages overseas are - fine, do it, it's your day, but unless you are prepared to a)include any invited dc to be a part of the whole thing and b) respect the fact that not everyone can afford it. If it's going to cause family rifts, it's not worth it.

ALittleBitOfMagic Mon 05-Nov-12 14:15:47

YATotallyNBU to go to Florida . However if I were you I would try to fly to vegas for the day for the ceremony .

I'm all for people getting married wherever and whenever they wish , but I think people who don't accept the fact that of they want an extravagant wedding abroad means some loved ones won't make it for many reasons are being selfish and a bit naive tbh .

whoneedstosleep Mon 05-Nov-12 14:16:56

Go to Florida! This is coming from someone who did get married in Las Vegas. It's a fab place but so not child friendly. IMO you can not book a wedding abroad and expect everyone to make it.

HoolioHallio Mon 05-Nov-12 14:22:05

YANBU. I think Vegas is one of the least child friendly cities I've ever been to - and I went there pre kids!
Enjoy Florida smile

blueskycp Mon 05-Nov-12 14:22:33

Definitely go to Florida!! Don't deny your kids a holiday which they'll absolutely love just to please someone else. People who arrange their wedding abroad should not expect everyone to come.

MrClaypole Mon 05-Nov-12 14:23:05

YA defo NBU.

This will be a very expensive trip for your family and your kids will not be able to join in with anything - I've been to Vegas and believe me I would not take kids there!

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