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To find this rude or odd re sleepover.

(65 Posts)
lollilou Sun 04-Nov-12 17:06:43

My dd(12) had a sleepover with her friend at my house last night. Before she arrived I was expecting a phone call from the girls Mum/Dad main care giver. Nothing okay so maybe she didn't have my number but I gave it to the girl when she arrived, still heard nothing so I didn't think much more about it.
When her Mum came to pick her up she stayed outside in her car and beeped her horn several times actually because we didn't hear her. The girl then ran out of my house(saying thanks for having me) got in the car and her Mum drove away!
Now do you thik that was a bit odd or rude? I had never met this girl before or her Mum. Would you send your dcs off without a phone call? Then not to at least come to my door?

mutny Sun 04-Nov-12 17:09:21

No I wouldn't bit that doesn't mean eveyone should. A friend of mine is terribly shy. Really bad. she hates talking on the phone. Maybe its that?

Everlong Sun 04-Nov-12 17:10:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Sun 04-Nov-12 17:11:53

I dunno. Reading your post, it seems rude. But at the same time, I know my parents never met any of my friends parents once I went to secondary school.

<sits on fence>

bigTillyMint Sun 04-Nov-12 17:13:11

A bit odd. But it may be that she is shy?

lljkk Sun 04-Nov-12 17:14:39

Not rude, a bit reckless though.

Themumsnot Sun 04-Nov-12 17:16:13

I would have found it odd before my DCs started secondary school. I have now come to accept that some (by no means all) of their friends parents are happy to let them sleep over without meeting us. I assume as they all have their own mobile phones a contact number is not considered necessary.

bringbacksideburns Sun 04-Nov-12 17:25:01

I'd say rude. Would have taken 5 mins to get off her backside and knock on your door to say thanks. No big conversations are required, shy or not.

BackforGood Sun 04-Nov-12 17:25:08

I can't say I've ever phoned the parents of any of my dcs friends - what would be the point of that (other than embarassing your teens) ?

I have a pet hate of people (including taxis) beeping their horns outside houses, so I'd have raised an eyebrow at that, but I've had plenty of dc just take themselves home afterwards, or I've dropped them off, so I've not met the parents still. Don't know why she didn't just text her dd confused

Maybe she was in her PJs / hair in curlers / other vanity reason for not wanting to be seen by anyone out of her car ? wink

pumpkinsweetie Sun 04-Nov-12 17:28:11

I wouldn't send my dc to stay overnight with someone i had never met, but i'm over-protectiveblush

I would find it a tad rude that a mother couldn't atleast come to the door considering i had gone to the effort of letting her have a sleepover.

Mrsjay Sun 04-Nov-12 17:30:16

I am sort fence about this the girls are 12 and she did get picked up I can see a younger child getting picked up but as i said they are 12 so I dunno dd sometimes walked homeherself at that age in the morning I never spoke to parents ,

exexpat Sun 04-Nov-12 17:31:14

Sounds like the start of more teenage patterns of behaviour to me. Once they get to secondary school things get much more hands-off, in my experience.

DS (14) sometimes stays over with friends whose parents I've never met, but he usually makes his own way there and back. And when I do pick him up from a party further away, I am usually under strict instructions to park round the corner and text him, because mothers are way too embarrassing to be seen.

Sirzy Sun 04-Nov-12 17:33:55

I think a quick phone call (or even text) before just to say "DD has said she can sleep over at yours tonight is that ok with you?" type thing would have been nice. And certainly knock on the door to pick them up and say thank you.

lisaro Sun 04-Nov-12 17:41:47

Not speaking to you first is very odd. Not thanking you afterwards is rude. The beeping of the horn is just pig ignorant.

A bit rude imho

I'd have made sure beforehand that i had her number, and would have text

Viviennemary Sun 04-Nov-12 17:46:07

Not speaking to you first is OK I think once they get to around 12. Beeping the horn outside your house is extremely rude.

carabos Sun 04-Nov-12 17:46:20

Agree with lisaro. She should have turned up a few minutes early and passed the time of day with you while waiting for her DD to gather her things. Contact should have been made before the event if for no other reason than to check out the bona fides and ensure that everyone was on the same page re arrangements.

lovebunny Sun 04-Nov-12 17:46:46

would not have a child staying in my house if i didn't know (not just 'have met') the parents. wouldn't have sleepovers at all, actually.

Everlong Sun 04-Nov-12 17:48:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameEnidsOrange Sun 04-Nov-12 17:48:12

Everything that exexpat said

Themumsnot Sun 04-Nov-12 17:48:25

Why not have sleepovers, Lovebunny?

RubyrooUK Sun 04-Nov-12 17:49:10

It is a little bit odd but possibly your DD's friend hissed at her mother "don't you dare come in and embarrass me - I'll come out". I have known teenage girls like that. blush

Or the mum had young siblings in the car, was harrassed, and just arranged a quick stop off with her DD picking her up?

Wouldn't really worry me too much.

ABatInBunkFive Sun 04-Nov-12 17:52:44

The child already said thanks, i don't see the mum need say it too. Was the friends the same age as your DD?

Odd if the child was 5 not odd if she is 12

DameEnidsOrange Sun 04-Nov-12 19:11:34

I picked up friends DD from a party the other night after her DH got delayed and she had had a drink so couldn't drive.

I was given the address, but told to park slightly down the road, text friend's DD and under no circumstances was I to get out of the car. I was looking out for friend's DD but she, like all the other girls, appeared from nowhere like a ghost - admittedly (to quote another thread, a flicky blonde haired, ugg wearing ghost)

Abra1d Sun 04-Nov-12 19:15:04

I am shy and have to work hard at being outgoing, but I would never, ever do this. I might find it hard to do the phoning bit (hate phones) but I would definitely knock on your door and thank you for having my child to stay.

Being shy doesn't give you a green card for being rude.

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