To ask if makeup on 4 and 6 year olds is the done thing?

[deadhedgehogpatronus]

Family function today, small daughters of DH's cousin were wearing foundation, blusher, mascara and lipgloss.

It took me by surprise, I don't think I've ever seen children that young wearing makeup, except maybe lipgloss. This was a full face of slap (more than I had on tbh). It didn't look like 'play' makeup; it was absolutely applied by an adult, very properly done.

Is this weird, or am I completely out of touch? Do many four and six year olds wear makeup? AIBU to find it a bit odd?

[Mrsjay]

YANBU to find it odd for a little girl to wear full slap why does a little girl need foundation

[PenguinBear]

I think it depends what circles you mix in e.g. It would be the 'norm' on the beauty pageant scene where as I've not seen it personally on children at a family party.

YANBU!

[Ilovecrossfit]

A bit of lip gloss and pink eye shadow is OK for a princess dress up party IMO anything more and it looks worrying again IMO

[freddiefrog]

YANBU

Mine have always liked to mess around with make up and I don't mind a little bit of lipgloss or nail varnish, but even at 11 my eldest is not allowed proper make up

[squoosh]

I think you know it's not the done thing.

Unless you're in a child's beauty pageant. And children's beauty pageants are very much Not The Done Thing.

Foundation on a 4 year old's peachy complexion? WEIRDOS!

[Remotecontrolduck]

Goodness I'm very liberal about make up, in general it's not an issue for me but foundation at 6 and 4?!?! YADNBU

[Mrsjay]

are you sure they had foundation on ? I cant get my head around foundation on a little girl

[lucyellenmum]

do their parents wear white stilletos and wear big hoop earrings?

[hazeyjane]

I have never ever seen children of that sort of age wearing makeup, (I have a 5 and 6 year old), so I would say it is not the done thing!

[kige]

Quite bizarre IMO. My 4yo is allowed to play with a bit of lipstick occasionally - only at home and about once a month. It's a play thing not a beauty thing.

[KitCat26]

YANBU. Foundation on children is weird.

However, my two (3 and 1) have, unbeknownst to me, been 'playing'. There is a big pink cloud of blusher and eyeshadow making its way slowly down the stairs as I speak.

[deadhedgehogpatronus]

It was a children's birthday picnic birthday picnic in the park, no dressups, no princess theme or anything like that. They're not involved in pageants or anything of the like, just ordinary sweet, cute kids and a (or so I thought) ordinary, down to earth family. The mum wears a bit of makeup, but not much more than average I'd say.

Of course I would've assumed prior to today that ordinary four and six year olds wouldn't wear full makeup for days in the park, but this family seems so relaxed and casual that I did begin to question myself.

Fwiw there is no way in hell my daughters will be allowed to wear makeup at that age. Not before high school was the rule for me when I was a kid, I just wondered if things had changed in the ten twenty years since I was wearing makeup for the first time.

[Sarahplane]

Yadnbu. I could understand maybe lip gloss (to be honest though of try to fob them off with Vaseline instead) or nail varnish if theyd been watching mummy get ready for the big family party and wanted some on to be like mummy. But proper makeup? Why why why would you do that?

[kerala]

Two girls in DDs year 1 class (age 5) wore full make up on mufti day. The families are of a certain demographic I shall say no more.

[deadhedgehogpatronus]

Definitely foundation, blusher and mascara on both girls, bright pink lipgloss on the younger girl and lighter pink on the elder.

I get the 'playing' with makeup thing, and this absolutely wasn't play makeup. Their mascara was applied better than my wobbly attempt!

They're beautiful girls with lovely olive colouring with gorgeous skin, what I could see of it at least. No birthmarks or scars being covered up as far as I could possibly tell. Not that mascara would be relevant to that I suppose.

How could you even get mascara off of a kid that age? My kids will barely let me wipe food off their faces.

[Flimflammery]

This is interesting because my DD (age almost 5) was just begging me to let her wear my makeup today, and I said no. I think my rule will be only for playing dressing up at home, not to go out anywhere in, not even round a friend's house.

It's the insidious sexualisation of young girls. They don't realise this, of course, they just want to copy mummy, but still, it makes me very uncomfortable.

YANBU, of course

[catgirl1976]

Ewwwwwwwwwww.

No.

[deadhedgehogpatronus]

I'm in Australia, by the way, and the family are of South African heritage, for clarity's sake. Same as DH, and I've never seen any of the other kids wearing makeup in the past.

[bitsofmeworkjustfine]

i dont wear makeup everyday,
but my dd8 is drawn to it, and has been since she was a toddler.

i let her play with it, but i also show her how to put it on properly.

NEVER foundation though.

sometimes when we go out for lunch she wants to wear mascara and lipgloss and i let her, but people do look at me a bit funny.

I'm very liberal about letting her dress as she pleases and eat what she pleases and generally behave as she pleases, within clearly defined boundaries.

for example she can go to the park on her own, but she has to report back often, she can wear whatever she likes, so long as it is appropriate for the weather/activity - isnt indecent etc. she eats what she pleases so long as during the day there is a balance of fruit veg, meat, carbs etc. we dont always stick to traditional meals, we will have a fruit plate for breakfast, then bacon butties for tea, so she gets the overall balance right without getting hung up on meat and two veg at every meal.

I would let her wear wellies with a tutu though, so perhaps i'm not the best person to ask

[deadhedgehogpatronus]

Flimflammery That's my stance too; playing at home is one thing. But going out to a family function very obviously intentionally dolled up is quite different I think.

It is insidious, isn't it? They were such lively, friendly, happy kids, running around, getting a bit grubby and having a good time. Very pretty dresses, I'll admit, but mine were in nice outfits too, and so were the other kids, with no makeup in sight. The mum (DH's cousin) is friendly, casual, relaxed, a bit dolled up herself but not a great deal more than anyone else. She was wearing pastel jeans and a tshirt, nothing special.

It was all very surreal. Which is why I felt the need to consult the collective wisdom of the vipers nest

[deadhedgehogpatronus]

That's interesting, bitsofme. I get the wanting to pick your battles thing, after all a bit of makeup isn't the end of the world. It just seemed so incongruous given the setting and the way the girls were playing.

I do wonder whose choice is was.

[lovebunny]

well, if it's done to make them look sexually attractive, its pervy.
if they asked mum 'can we wear some make-up too' and she thought 'family party, where's the harm?' its not so bad.
if its a case of 'sit still while i put your make up on or you won't be pretty', its potentially harmful.

so more depends on the why than the actual. though i'd prefer that small children didn't wear make-up, for as a friend once said 'but lovebunny believes there's a pervert lurking around every corner.'

[bitsofmeworkjustfine]

i think they may have asked for it. For me, its the fact that they were playing in an appropriate way for children.

if one with make up had sat out of the games, for fear of breaking a nail, at 4, i'd be more concerned.

they wanted to look pretty while they played. seems fine to me. my dd has outfits 'for best' that she doesnt like to play in, so she wears them infrequently, because she is at the get invovled stage!

[bitsofmeworkjustfine]

asked for the makeup that is... cross post with lovebunny

[FreePeaceSweet]

My girls wear nail polish on their toes. dd1's make up bag (one of my old ones) consists of whatever she gets free with girl magazines and stuff I don't use. Usually very pale pink lip gloss and glittery stuff. I always think I'm quite relaxed about it. Foundation on very young skin though? Definitely not.