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To ask DMIL not to take DS out all day?

(66 Posts)
LittlePebble Sat 03-Nov-12 10:20:16

This is not a MIL bashing thread. I lovey
mIL and currently have chest infection which I'm taking antibiotics for, then this morning was sick I'm not sure if its a reaction to antibiotics or something else. DH took DS (1yr old) down to work with him then called his mum and asked if she could look after him for a few hours. MIL then popped in here to get DS changing bag/ food etc. and told me she and her partner thought they'd take him out to a place 1/2 hr away. When I asked what time they'd be back she said 4pm. I got a bit upset as I worked all day yesterday and the weekend is only time I get to see DS for two days in a row (work mon/wed/fri). MIL has now changed plans and is going to bring him back at lunch time and said they'd take him to this place another day when we can all go.
I feel awful as I don't want to stop them having a lovely time and I'm sure DS would have fun, do you think it's selfish of me to have stopped them going so I can see him this afternoon?

LittlePebble Sat 03-Nov-12 10:21:00

*love my

TidyDancer Sat 03-Nov-12 10:22:17

I'm sorry, I do understand where you're coming from, but I think you should've let them go.

NewNames Sat 03-Nov-12 10:22:26

YANBU. It's up to you when your child is away from you. It is nice for kids to spend time with other people if only to give you a break, especially as you are ill.

usualsuspect3 Sat 03-Nov-12 10:22:35

I think you should have let her take him so you can have a rest if you feel poorly.

louloutheshamed Sat 03-Nov-12 10:22:50

If you are really poorly you won't be good company for your ds anyway will you? I know how you feel as I work ft too but in this case I would just enjoy the rest!

DorsetKnob Sat 03-Nov-12 10:23:58

Sorry I think YABU, she was trying to help and let you have some time to yourself when you are ill.

Whoknowswhocares Sat 03-Nov-12 10:24:47

I think you should have let them go too, sorry.

seeker Sat 03-Nov-12 10:26:58

Daft, sorry. You're ill. kind people offered to give your ds a lovely time while you recover. What are you going to do with him this afternoon? It's awful looking after children while you feel dreadful.

AThingInYourLife Sat 03-Nov-12 10:27:42


You are too sick to look after him.

You could have had a day to rest and recover, exciting fun day with Granny for DS, MIL still got her day out - everyone's a winner (you are a sick, miserable winner, admittedly grin )

Instead you've arsed up everyone's day and you're still sick.

Being sick is shit, but having a toddler to entertain doesn't improve things.

Groovee Sat 03-Nov-12 10:28:59

If you are that ill then you are better to rest. He would have had a lovely time with granny and you would have got some well needed rest.

Now if you had been in hospital for 4 days and not seen him then YWNBU.

5dcsinneedofacleaner Sat 03-Nov-12 10:33:15

you should have let them go!. I currently have a cold - not a chest infection and dont plan on seeing the children much today. DH is off work and we have an agreement that any illness on either of our parts means day in bed/relaxing. SO dh is downstairs caring for the children I am mumsnetting in bed. When he gets my cold which he probably will i will return the favour.
The children will be there tomorrow and mums (and dads) need to look after themselves as well as worrying about the children imo.
Relax, stay warm and leave the childcare to other members of the family.

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Nov-12 10:36:24

YABU you should have let them take him 4pm...that's not even a whole day anyway and with you being ill, it would have worked out well for all of you.

Chandon Sat 03-Nov-12 10:36:46

sorry, ywbu on this. She was doing you a favour, you get lots of time with DS, and I don't get the "two days in a row thing".

Climbingpenguin Sat 03-Nov-12 10:36:50


nothing wrong of saying when they get back that you were wrong and or you are feeling more ill than you realised, would they be kind enough to take them out again.

I had a similar chest infection a few weeks ago and I am still not back to normal (although had already been ill for a few weeks). You know the sensible answer. Although I had DCs around all the time and longed for a rest, I'm not sure I could have handed them over to MIL for a whole day hypocritical I know Possibly my mother and even then I would have seen them in chunks but DS is still tricky to get so sleep and needs a lunch bf in order to sleep as well.

We can't give the children quality unsnappy time when ill, what about asking them to hang around the house that way you get help but still get your babies company?

charlottehere Sat 03-Nov-12 10:37:40

Yu should have made the most of the time to rest and be better for DS. Also looking a gift horse in the mouth me thinks. Hope you feel better soon.

EdithWeston Sat 03-Nov-12 10:42:17

If you're still reading, stop! Go back to bed or lie on the sofa to rest and sleep whilst you can undisturbed. I'd have accepted the whole day offer, in the hope that a day of rest would see off the illness. It's up to you to choose what is best in your household. MIL sounds lovely, by the way, in being so accommodating.

I hope you feel better soon.

LittlePebble Sat 03-Nov-12 11:01:18

She is lovely and I'm sure I'm being U as I'm tired but although I've got chest infection I don't feel so ill that I need to be quarantined for the whole day IYSWIM. It was being sick this morning that threw DH I think and he may have gone into over protective mode when phoning his mother.

I do take points about resting in bed and the last thing I want to do is spoil DS time with his GM.

Bugger. looks like maybe I should have let them go and stomached missing him

AThingInYourLife Sat 03-Nov-12 11:04:42

"what about asking them to hang around the house that way you get help but still get your babies company?"


Really, don't do that.

nokidshere Sat 03-Nov-12 11:04:47

completely bonkers! You have the next 18 years to see your baby - one day sick wont make any difference to him but will help you recover quicker!

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Maryz Sat 03-Nov-12 11:10:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lovebunny Sat 03-Nov-12 11:14:12

no-one should take your baby away. insist that the baby stays with you, or if he must go, that he is brought back asap.
you are right not to want people (no matter how close or lovely) to pack up your baby and remove him. you're his mum, even on days when you need a hand. what's wrong with people staying at yours and looking after the baby? i had a glorious nine hours at my daughter's yesterday, most of the time playing little games with my grandaughter (almost 1yo).

Maryz Sat 03-Nov-12 11:15:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect3 Sat 03-Nov-12 11:19:26

They are not taking him away ,lovebunny, what a bizarre thing to say.

lovebunny Sat 03-Nov-12 11:19:37

mother is in place X. child is in place Y. mother is not happy.
child therefore has been taken away.

of course she will rest if they are in the house. she will be more at peace knowing where he is. some people actually love their children.

what is it you say round here? ffs.

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