AIBU to put tights on my husband during the cold weather?

[TiggyD]

I don't actually have a husband so I'm just talking metaphysically here, but would it be unreasonable to send a husband to work in tights to keep him warm and snug? It would also act as a contraceptive by overheating his love-tadpoles.
Like I said, I'm talking meteorically, but I would worry about my husband walking to work and playing outside during breaktimes in such cold weather as what you get in the winter. I overheard somebody talking about a very painful sounding condition the other day called snowballs and I wouldn't want him to catch that.

AIBU? I believe lots of men already wear tights or ideally stockings to work presumably for the porpoise of warmth. Do your DHs?

[MardyBra]

do you mean something like this?

[Binkyridesagain]

my DH wear silk leggings and a silk t shirt when it's very cold.
Don't tell anyone though, it might effect his manliness if everyone knows

[aimingtobeaperfectionist]

My DP wears long johns and a vest. He works outside. I be more than a bit concerned if he wore tights though.

[MardyBra]

Given your OP, no wonder I used to get confused about whether you are a man or a woman tiggy

[LadyFlumpalot]

The porpoise of warmth? This sounds very philosophical to me! Are porpoises usually warmer than dolphins?

[frootshoots]

DH wears vair attractive long johns in the heart of winter. Nothing like him coming home and stripping off to reveal the baggy crotch and knees on them.

[lucyellenmum]

My DP has worn tights in the past when working outside, its quite common in the building trade, more comfortable than long johns apparently. Really can't see the problem

[MardyBra]

what's the male equivalent to camel toe?

[tinkertitonk]

I'm with LadyF, "Can I put tights on a non-existent husband" is a philosophical conundrum, like "If a tree falls and nobody hears it, is there any sound?"

Top post.

[EdithWeston]

You might be better off opting to marry a man who can dress himself.

I assume you have a candidate in mind (a teacher with playground duty?) Surely he can notice for himself what sorts of clothes he needs to wear? Then again, a teacher shouldn't be undressing at work (with possible exception of Ken Barlow, who seemed to undress everywhere) so you can persuade him in suspenders and fishnets for your pleasure if that's what you want.

[CrunchyFrog]

It will turn him GAY. Do you want that on your conscience? I wish manufacturers would realise that men get cold too, and create a range of tights with manly motifs (you know, hammers, yorkie bars, rugged type things) so the poor chilly-bollocked fellas could wear them without compromising their heterosexuality.

[TalesFromTheCryptoFascist]

TiggyD, are you a gay man or a lady? I'm just being nosy!

[MardyBra]

Tiggy is a bloke. Although before I worked that out, I once lurked on what I thought was a very interesting lesbian dating thread started by him/her.

[Fakebook]

My husband wears long johns. Last year I spent weeks looking for the perfect pair...'twas the most mind numbing thing he's ever asked me to do for him. My son wears tights.

[TiggyD]

More manly tights would be good. I'm kind of puzzled why men don't wear them on the cooler days during the summer. A pair of tan coloured tights under shorts would give the appearance of healthy tanned legs.
How about footballer's pictures on tights? Should I patent that? Women could wear them too. In a few years Ryan Giggs could be running up the legs of women all over the world!
If you're worried about the possibilities of catching the GAY you could always grow a bread as that makes you invulnerable. Beards are also good for the porpoise of warmth.

[Trills]

the porpoise of warmth

[mignonette]

The male equivalent to camel toe is camel hump (the Bactrian two hump species!)

[MardyBra]

I would like to grow bread. And marmite.

[TiggyD]

One of those goatse beards?

[EdithWeston]

Lovely pix trills - crafty types turn the hat into a cod porpoise piece without difficulty.

[Snorbs]

When I used to ride motorbikes through the winter I'd put M&S thermal long-johns on under my leathers. They were lovely.

[steppemum]

we used to live in Kazakhstan, very long cold winters. All kids wear tights under everything, so they sell them with 'boys' motifs, aeroplanes, cars, etc. Not for men though, they wear long johns

[ObiWan]

Snowballs .

I'm going to warn my husband about snowballs, while proffering a pair of tights.

Slightly worried about what I'll do if he takes me seriously though.

[Nuttyprofessor]

When DH was an apprentice electrician, a very long time ago, all of the men working on site wore tights under their trousers. They worked outside at very low temperatures..