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AIBU to put tights on my husband during the cold weather?

(59 Posts)
TiggyD Sat 03-Nov-12 09:50:06

I don't actually have a husband so I'm just talking metaphysically here, but would it be unreasonable to send a husband to work in tights to keep him warm and snug? It would also act as a contraceptive by overheating his love-tadpoles.
Like I said, I'm talking meteorically, but I would worry about my husband walking to work and playing outside during breaktimes in such cold weather as what you get in the winter. I overheard somebody talking about a very painful sounding condition the other day called snowballs and I wouldn't want him to catch that.

AIBU? I believe lots of men already wear tights or ideally stockings to work presumably for the porpoise of warmth. Do your DHs?

MardyBra Sat 03-Nov-12 09:52:51

do you mean something like this?

Binkyridesagain Sat 03-Nov-12 09:53:00

<whispers> my DH wear silk leggings and a silk t shirt when it's very cold.
Don't tell anyone though, it might effect his manliness if everyone knows grin

aimingtobeaperfectionist Sat 03-Nov-12 09:55:20

My DP wears long johns and a vest. He works outside. I be more than a bit concerned if he wore tights though.

MardyBra Sat 03-Nov-12 09:55:22

Given your OP, no wonder I used to get confused about whether you are a man or a woman * tiggy*

LadyFlumpalot Sat 03-Nov-12 09:56:25

The porpoise of warmth? This sounds very philosophical to me! Are porpoises usually warmer than dolphins?

frootshoots Sat 03-Nov-12 09:56:52

DH wears vair attractive long johns in the heart of winter. Nothing like him coming home and stripping off to reveal the baggy crotch and knees on them. confused

lucyellenmum Sat 03-Nov-12 09:57:29

My DP has worn tights in the past when working outside, its quite common in the building trade, more comfortable than long johns apparently. Really can't see the problem

MardyBra Sat 03-Nov-12 09:58:32

what's the male equivalent to camel toe?

tinkertitonk Sat 03-Nov-12 10:06:18

I'm with LadyF, "Can I put tights on a non-existent husband" is a philosophical conundrum, like "If a tree falls and nobody hears it, is there any sound?"

Top post.

EdithWeston Sat 03-Nov-12 10:07:15

You might be better off opting to marry a man who can dress himself.

I assume you have a candidate in mind (a teacher with playground duty?) Surely he can notice for himself what sorts of clothes he needs to wear? Then again, a teacher shouldn't be undressing at work (with possible exception of Ken Barlow, who seemed to undress everywhere) so you can persuade him in suspenders and fishnets for your pleasure if that's what you want.

CrunchyFrog Sat 03-Nov-12 10:07:45

It will turn him GAY. Do you want that on your conscience? I wish manufacturers would realise that men get cold too, and create a range of tights with manly motifs (you know, hammers, yorkie bars, rugged type things) so the poor chilly-bollocked fellas could wear them without compromising their heterosexuality. sad

TalesFromTheCryptoFascist Sat 03-Nov-12 10:11:12

TiggyD, are you a gay man or a lady? I'm just being nosy!

MardyBra Sat 03-Nov-12 10:19:28

Tiggy is a bloke. Although before I worked that out, I once lurked on what I thought was a very interesting lesbian dating thread started by him/her.

Fakebook Sat 03-Nov-12 10:20:23

My husband wears long johns. Last year I spent weeks looking for the perfect pair...'twas the most mind numbing thing he's ever asked me to do for him. My son wears tights.

TiggyD Sat 03-Nov-12 10:20:50

More manly tights would be good. I'm kind of puzzled why men don't wear them on the cooler days during the summer. A pair of tan coloured tights under shorts would give the appearance of healthy tanned legs.
How about footballer's pictures on tights? Should I patent that? Women could wear them too. In a few years Ryan Giggs could be running up the legs of women all over the world!
If you're worried about the possibilities of catching the GAY you could always grow a bread as that makes you invulnerable. Beards are also good for the porpoise of warmth.

Trills Sat 03-Nov-12 10:20:52

the porpoise of warmth

mignonette Sat 03-Nov-12 10:21:26

The male equivalent to camel toe is camel hump (the Bactrian two hump species!)

MardyBra Sat 03-Nov-12 10:24:53

I would like to grow bread. And marmite.

TiggyD Sat 03-Nov-12 10:28:14

One of those goatse beards?

EdithWeston Sat 03-Nov-12 10:28:37

Lovely pix trills - crafty types turn the hat into a cod porpoise piece without difficulty.

Snorbs Sat 03-Nov-12 10:54:53

When I used to ride motorbikes through the winter I'd put M&S thermal long-johns on under my leathers. They were lovely.

steppemum Sat 03-Nov-12 10:58:44

we used to live in Kazakhstan, very long cold winters. All kids wear tights under everything, so they sell them with 'boys' motifs, aeroplanes, cars, etc. Not for men though, they wear long johns

ObiWan Sat 03-Nov-12 11:02:10

Snowballs grin.

I'm going to warn my husband about snowballs, while proffering a pair of tights.

Slightly worried about what I'll do if he takes me seriously though.

Maryz Sat 03-Nov-12 11:04:16

Um, isn't it a bit early in the morning for you all to be pissed?

[baffled]

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