AIBU or is she?

[HtotheS]

My mum doesn't work so is at home all week. A friend of mine cancelled so I rang my mum this morning and asked if I could go to hers for a couple of hours. She hasn't seen my daughter who's 15months for at least a month now, I thought she'd be pleased.

Instead she said she had lots of eBay parcels to get ready!!!

I was only going over for 2 hours max!

Is she being unreasonble or am I ?

[OhDeerHauntingFENTON]

Not sure, - it could be that she felt you were only wanting to visit because you were at a loose end having had plans cancelled - it wouldn't feel very nice would it?

How often are you in touch usually?

[HtotheS]

Even if I had loose plans surely a mum would e pleased to see her grandaughter (even if she wasn't pleased to see me)

[squeakytoy]

depends if you see your mum just because you want to see her, or only when you want her to do you a favour really...

[TeaBrick]

You've not seen your mum for a month? How far away does she live?

[HtotheS]

She would've been doing me a favour because I was a loose end but I'm still obviously pleased to see her

[HtotheS]

I saw her by myself this week. DD not seen her for a month!!!

[GoldPlatedNineDoors]

But if your mother is busy today then she is busy today. Simple.

How did you leave it?

[ImperialFireworksInMyKnickers]

If she's already made plans it's not reasonable for you to expect her to drop everything. If she's doing a lot of eBay, she won't want to lose her status as a good seller by not sending stuff out fast.

[HtotheS]

She only lives 30minutes away. She doesn't drive so it's always me tht has to go see her

[squeakytoy]

that doesnt really answer the question though..

do you go to see your mum on other occasions, or just when you want a free babysitter??

[HtotheS]

Oh it was left fine, I'm secretly grumpy about it !

[ImperialFireworksInMyKnickers]

Just a thought, if you want her to see dd you could volunteer to help with the parcels. You could drive them to the Post Office for instance?

[HtotheS]

Yes I do go see her on other occasions. I didn't want her to babysit (she's never babysat!!!!) I just wanted to pop around for a couple of hours to visit her

[squeakytoy]

ah, apologies, I misread as I was on the phone.. I thought you meant you wanted your mum to babysit for you...and I can see you now you wanted to go and visit her..

but I suppose if she is busy, she is busy.

[HtotheS]

No worries. I think I just took her saying no a bit personally!

[TeaBrick]

My mum would be going insane if she hadn't seen ds for a month though, she would crawl here on her hands and knees if necessary, so ye I find it surprising that your mum didn't seem very eager to see her gc.

[HtotheS]

DH is furious about it. Says she's selfish

[bubbles11]

other people have different relationships with their mums i know but my mum "weaned" me off the idea that I could just drop by on short notice at a fairly early age (i.e around when i left home early 20s) - not saying it didn't hurt and there have been moments occassionally since when i have thought "i would just like to go home for a visit at the drop of a hat and see my mum" - but that is the way things changed.
So maybe it is not that your mum does not want to see you and it is not that she does not want to see the baby but just that she wants a bit more notice so she can be prepared for your visit / fully enjoy your company (both of you) when you get there?
but i acknowledge all families are different and many mums love their (adult) children just dropping in unannounced (or on short notice)

[BrianAndHisBalls]

seems strange to me, as Teabrick says mine would be going insane if she hadn't seen dds for a month.

[HtotheS]

Yeah I don't know why eBay parcels are more important than us. She could've done them later on in the day

[Ithinkitsjustme]

Mine would be far more likely to say than it wasn't convenient than most people on here. I'd prefer to know that when I do see them it's at a time when we are all relaxed and not worrying about the million and one things we needed to do. I do wish that my parents sometimes could accept that we also have a busy life and we can't ust drop everything because today suits them, though.

[mutny]

Oh my god. She has plans. You phoned short notice, she was busy. Why phone her to ASK f you were going to get pissed off if she said no?
As for your dh getting 'furious', why?
Why is she selfish? I don't really think its got anything to do with him.

[Callisto]

I can't think of anything worse than a 15 month old getting sticky hands on all the stuff I've just sold on Ebay and now need to post, so I think yabvu actually.

And your husband is 'furious' and thinks your mum is 'selfish'? I think he needs to take a look at how weird and OTT his reaction was tbh.

[TeaBrick]

Presumably there is a backstory though? Op's mum has not seen her gc for a month. I think that's a bit odd really, but my mum lives very near and we see her often.

[CocoPopsAddict]

Did neither of you think say 'how about later this afternoon?' or 'how about tomorrow then?' ?

Would have solved it.