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To sleep in the spare room as dp didn't get me a sweet?

(30 Posts)
lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 22:43:16

I've spent all evening doing his favourite dinner which was quite a bit of prep, done just for him as I wasn't hungry. When I finally sit down after tidying everything away (probably been in the kitchen around 3 hours start to finish) on the sofa with a glass of wine I asked him to get me a sweet. (The sweets are upstairs) He said "if you wanna sweet get your arse upstairs and get one" Now I'm no control freak but am I BU in expecting him to just fucking get me one??

ErikNorseman Thu 01-Nov-12 22:44:32


ThePsychicSatsuma Thu 01-Nov-12 22:44:49

why are your sweets upstairs?

ErikNorseman Thu 01-Nov-12 22:45:15

But don't sleep in spare room, tell him he is ungrateful and rude and ask him why

CandiceMariePratt Thu 01-Nov-12 22:46:00

Yanbu. I would put my fingers down his throat and get the dinner back.

lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 22:46:59

Thepsychic...they are my DD's they are in her bedroom shhhh dont tell! As it happens I didn't get a bloody sweet I got wine and am now sulking in the spare room.

ThePsychicSatsuma Thu 01-Nov-12 22:47:15

unpack all of his stuff into the spare room. *

*nb keep the sweets in your room

lucyellenmum Thu 01-Nov-12 22:47:24

So, you cooked him a dinner but you didn't eat and he couldn't even go and get you a sweet??

Id be pretty miffed, but im not sure i'd go and sleep in the spare room to "punish" him. Nose, cut, spite, face.

lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 22:47:37

Hahaha Candice that is brilliant!

deleted203 Thu 01-Nov-12 22:47:43

I think so. I think it's unreasonable to EXPECT anyone to leap to their feet and trot up the stairs to fetch you a sweet because you want one. Having said that, it would have been nice if he'd fetched you one after all your efforts for him. But presumably you chose to make his favourite dinner - he didn't just demand or expect it? (And YABU to sleep in the spare room over whether he fetched you a sweetie or not, TBH. Is it really worth all that fuss?)

ImperialBlether Thu 01-Nov-12 22:49:15

He sounds really rude and selfish. Is he always like that?

ScaryFakeNails Thu 01-Nov-12 22:49:56

I think to expect him to trot off just because you want a sweet is a bit rich but it would have been nice. Maybe it was just a joke or he didn't really think through the fact you had done dinner etc and were tired.

Spare room is bollocks though, just tell him you're annoyed and why then make up. Its a sodding sweet.

lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 22:56:29

No imperial, not always.
Sow, scary, you have a point I've started wondering that, maybe I did expect him to trot off and get me one and wasn't on in his mind. Still, I'd trotted off to Sainsburys today and carried £50 worth of shopping all up my arms on a 20min walk (think bag of spuds, wine, washing powder..seriously heavy stuff!) Hoovered, did lots of laundry..his laundry etc etc all I wanted was a poxy sweet.

ScaryFakeNails Thu 01-Nov-12 23:02:24

Yeah but expecting him to engage brain and make the link between you doing all that and wanting a sweet. To quote dh "AM NOT A MINDREADER!!!!", its not unreasonable to expect him to do things for you but I just think he probably hadn't made that connection. Tell him so he knows for next time. Sending him to the spare room drags it out and doesn't really communicate the core of the issue.

AllYoursBabooshka Thu 01-Nov-12 23:05:05

What has he done today?

lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 23:12:46

Maybe scary, I suppose.
He's been to work allyours
It actually went something like this..
Arse: Would you like anything from the kitchen?
Me: No but I'd love a sweet please.
Arse: If you want a sweet get off your arse and get one
Me: Oh, ok
Me again, a few seconds later: You really wont get me a sweet?
Arse: No
Me: Ok don't expect any dinners from me in the future

lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 23:13:35

To which he didnt answer as he loves his dinners.

SoleSource Thu 01-Nov-12 23:16:18

So you do stuff for him and tally it up? Then when you find you cannot order him about like a child you get huffy?

Fakebook Thu 01-Nov-12 23:22:55

I think pussy cat eyes and a pout work well in these kinds of situations, accompanied by an "oohhhh goo ooonnn, I'll be your friend". Always works for me.

lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 23:23:06

If you want to put it like that then fine solesource, I do things for him (lots of things) and yes I expect him to do things for me occasionally.

Loshad Thu 01-Nov-12 23:25:12

are you both 15?

lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 23:26:33

Unfortunately not. We're in our 40's. grin

ilovesooty Thu 01-Nov-12 23:31:31

Loshad I wondered that too. It all sounds really juvenile.

lucyellenmum Thu 01-Nov-12 23:37:31

It doesn't sound like you have much respect for each other. I can't believe you are sleeping in the spare room over something so trivial - this is not healthy. He DID offer to get you something from the kitchen though, so its not like he didn't offer anything. Maybe he didn't feel like traipsing upstairs at that point, much like you didn't.

Really, you both need to grow up - do you have children?

lotsofteddies Thu 01-Nov-12 23:43:05

Yes, she's the one with the damn sweets! I might go back to the master bedroom now, feel a bit silly.

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