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AIBU?

to be fuming at stupid woman on the radio! She reckons CS are the easy option!

83 replies

newmummytobe79 · 01/11/2012 14:21

was listening to a woman on the radio who has had 7 kids. She thinks that women who opt for pain relief during labour are weak and should just 'get on with it'. She said epidurals and c sections are the easy option.

FWIW an emcs saved both mine and my baby's life. I went in with the attitude that I'd like to give birth naturally with maybe a bit of gas and air ... how wrong I was!

And recovering from an emcs is hell on earth!

AIBU to think that women like that do nothing for woman-kind whatsoever and shouldn't judge or make stupid comments on how women give birth.

Grrrrrrr!

OP posts:
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SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 01/11/2012 14:23

Yanbu! Guessing she has a very high pain threshold though

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newmummytobe79 · 01/11/2012 14:24

or tiny babies ... or rather large lady bits! Grin

OP posts:
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Meglet · 01/11/2012 14:25

yanbu.

I expect she thinks women who have sections are just zipped open or something. No scapels, blood or stitches at all. All the staff in theatre are just for show Hmm.

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TheCraicDealer · 01/11/2012 14:26

From a non-Mother POW, if she's only had vaginal deliveries then she can't comment on which way is "easier". Idiot.

Major abdominal surgery- just a walk in the park.....Hmm

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Tailtwister · 01/11/2012 14:26

Major abdominal surgery is a easy option. Yes, right....

Never had a CS btw, but have seen friends who have. It's NOT an easy option.

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newmummytobe79 · 01/11/2012 14:27

and get a tummy tuck at the same time hey? Wink

OP posts:
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SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 01/11/2012 14:27

Dont they whip babies out with keyhole surgery these days
Wink

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shesariver · 01/11/2012 14:29

Weak to use pain relief? No, just sensible to use something that has been invented and medicine can give us to take pain away if required - which is the purpose of pain relief...sure as hell wouldnt get my leg amputated without any pain relief so the same applies to doing something else that hurts! Yes it does piss me off that some people think like this because others can be suspectible what people think and attitudes like this can contribute to women thinking they have somehow "failed" if they need pain releif or a CS.

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firstpost · 01/11/2012 14:31

There is a massive issue in this country with regard to C Sections. I was definitely made to feel like I was shirking when I was pleading for one. This was at 14 days overdue, 5 days of failed induction, high blood pressure and some dodgy traces of my baby's heartbeat.

One or two doctors and midwifes were understanding, and said I think you should go for a section. One sighed and said, "we are very proud of our 11% C section rate here, what a shame"

I was warned I would be in horrendous pain, may be problems breastfeeding, scarred for life etc. Actually I wasnt in pain, just a little short term discomfort and was still breastfeeding when DS was 11 months old. I know this is different to your experience OP but I think we both agree that judging women for how they give birth is wrong.

The conspiracy of natural birth is always better makes me angry. I think it contributes to feelings of failure at a very vulnerable point in your life. And all the "info" is heavily weighted in the favour of natural birth.

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WelshMaenad · 01/11/2012 14:34

I find that anyone who bangs on so vociferously about something has massive issues tucked away somewhere. I've had 2 sections, I used to get annoyed about shit like this, now I just let it all fly over my head. I have two beautiful children, I am very lucky, and it's been a hard road. If other people want to wax on about my birth choices, I can't say I give a fuck, really.

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Wolfiefan · 01/11/2012 14:35

WOW! I have had 2 kids and have always thanked my lucky stars I didn't need a cs. Surgery and recovery or possibility of a few stitches. No competition!

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GlitterySkulls · 01/11/2012 14:36

this woman is talking out of her backside, & i say this as someone who's had two vb & nothing more than a little gas & air due to extremely fast labours (how i wanted the proper pain relief, i begged for it!)

i've seen friends after a section, plus other women on the ward, & i was glad it wasn't me. they were in agony, & i was well aware i had a much better deal.

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jaggythistle · 01/11/2012 14:40

having had an emcs with really rubbish recovery and then a VBAC, I'd not volunteer for another section!

people who have no idea should keep their mouths shut really.

i think it entirely depends on the circumstances whether you need pain relief. with DS1 it was extremely uncomfortable as he was back to back so i used loads of gas and air then was recommended an epidural, but with DS2 i ended up with no pain relief as it all happened so quick. (well except a local anesthetic at the end for forceps/ episiotomy/repair needlework. :) )

oh, YANBU.

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Anniegetyourgun · 01/11/2012 14:42

Some women do feel little or no pain in childbirth. I remember years ago working briefly with a mother of four, who said she had felt a little discomfort with the last one, but it was more like indigestion than what she would describe as pain. The other three mothers in the office turned to her and, as one, said "I hate you!" Grin A school friend's elder sister likewise was well into labour before realising she didn't just have a bit of a tummy ache. That doesn't mean that everyone who does have pain in childbirth, ie the majority of women, is playing up or a wimp. It just means people have different nerves and stuff, not to mention some babies being bigger than others, lying differently etc. If you don't need intervention you're lucky, bloody lucky, and don't forget it!

It's like those infuriating people who don't feel dental pain and say you don't really need to be numbed to be drilled, you just think you do. I'd like to drill them somewhere they would feel it, tbh Angry

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Hexenbiest · 01/11/2012 14:43

I not had any epidurals or c section and two of my births to large babies were with no pain relief - Yet even I know this woman?s talking rubbish.

The baby?s position, whether there are complications which could endanger baby or mother present and the amount of support from MW and your surroundings- are factors you just don't have complete control over and have massive effect on how labour goes and which delivery method occurs.

Personally I was very keen to avoid c-sections as major adnominal surgery and new born babies was obviously going to be much harder to cope with.

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noblegiraffe · 01/11/2012 14:46

I expect someone who has had 7 babies can give birth simply by uncrossing her legs Wink

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KateSpade · 01/11/2012 14:47

I had one painful contraction & my labour was over in two hours, but I would never say anything as silly as the radio woman, as other people have said its major surgery, more time in hospital I would have thought.

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MadamTwoSwords · 01/11/2012 14:49

I had some pain relief but not loads as I didn't find it as bad as I expected, but ended up with a crash emcs (GA) when DD got stuck.

She was in SCBU and I ended up with a bowel that stopped working due to the trauma and the 50% - 50% chance of being able to get on the operating table in time before it burst therefore killing me. Oh and the chance that I may still die on the table.
Not to mention the 5 ops afterwards as part of this and the horrendous PTSD, IBS and PND I suffered due to this.
Yeah I had it easy.
FFS what is it with people, I dont give a shiny shit how anyone gives birth apart from a passing interest into their experience. I certainly dont judge and couldnt give a fuck if your baby came out the sun roof or not.

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3monkeys3 · 01/11/2012 14:50

I have had 3 sections and have never given birth naturally. I had an emergency section after days of labour with ds1, an elective that went a bit wrong with dd and a very uneventful section with ds2 and I'm afraid to say I do think it's the easy option. Sorry. That said, even though I can compare the pain of labour, I can't compare the recovery and this is just what I think based on my experiences and I know others will feel differently.

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MrsBungleScare · 01/11/2012 14:50

This woman is talking shite.

I think that some labours are just more painful than others and she is lucky she doesn't appear to get excrutiating ones (if she did, she WOULD want the pain relief). I have had one terrible, horrendous pain labour and one that was a walk in the park and not even that sore.

Some people seem to think that because their labour(s) was ok then everyone else's is just the same. Idiotic.

I don't believe there is any easy way to have a baby whatever way it comes out.

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EleanorBloodBathsket · 01/11/2012 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WileyRoadRunner · 01/11/2012 14:51

Goodness I now consider myself very lucky as having had 2 c-sections (one emergency, one elective) I had always assumed it was the easy option hence the elective Blush.

I was obviously very lucky, and so far on here, it seems unusual in the fact that I was virtually up and running within a few hours.

Similarly though this silly woman sounds like she has been very fortunate to have popped out 7 babies and now feels as a reward she can belittle everybody else.

Surely for the majority giving birth is never easy.

I sometimes wonder where they fish these people out from.

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WheelieBinRebel · 01/11/2012 14:54

YANBU! Speaking as someone who has had 2 normal deliveries (one a homebirth). A CS would be my worst nightmare, it is major abdominal surgery and really impacts on your ability to look after a newborn IMO. I certainly do not view it as the easy option and it is easy for someone who has never experienced it to label it as such. I wonder if baby no. 8 turned out to be a CS she would still hold those views?

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SugariceAndScary · 01/11/2012 14:56

I've had both; an emcs sandwiched between two vaginal births, no choice but to have it, it saved his life.

Give me the vaginal birth any day of the week!

My wound was still stinging just from turning over in bed 4 weeks after, easy option my arse!

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WelshMaenad · 01/11/2012 14:57

I had a tough recovery from my emergency section and a brilliant recovery from my elective. I know people who gave had tough recoveries from vaginal deliveries as well as easy ones. It's completely arbitrary, isn't it, people just do what is best or necessary to get babies out as safely as possible, I'm baffled that people find opportunities for judgement there!

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