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to tell this dogowner to keep her dog away?

(46 Posts)
familyfun Thu 01-Nov-12 13:38:27

my dds (5 and 2) are quite nervous of dogs, have no experience of being around dogs and are scared when they bark/jump up.
dd1 got jumped up by a massive dog on holiday which left filthy muddy paw prints all over her cardigan and made her cry which didnt help. hmm

anyway, a few times a week we go for a walk/bike ride round the block. 1 house the elderly lady opens her door and lets the dog out and it jumps the wall and wonders the street till she calls it in.

we were just passing the house and dd2 was in her pushchair eating a biscuit and dd1 was walking ahead, whehn the lady opened the door and the dog jumped the wall right infront of us and dd1 froze on the spot by a gateway, the dog ran to the pushchair and shoved its nose at dd2, so i pushed my hand in the way and told it to get off, dd2 was saying go away doggy, then the dog started licking her hand and trying to lick her face, so i shoved it out the way and stood between the dog and the pushchair. old lady finally gets to the wall and says dont worry hes friendly. dd2 is now crying, i said they dont like dogs and he is licking her and can you get your dog in. she said its weird they dont like friendly dogs and what am i going to do about it. i said im doing nothing, but i dont want my children licked especially whilst eating and to get her dog in now, which she did but tutted at me and told me id got my hands full.

wibu to think its her dog, her problem. i now feel i cant walk past there incase the bloody dog is out again.

Bogeyface Thu 01-Nov-12 13:40:57

YANBU.

Dogs shouldnt be wandering the streets like that, and as for licking....thats just disgusting.

midori1999 Thu 01-Nov-12 13:43:18

She's an idiot. Tell her that if you see her dog out again you will call the dog warden who will collect it and she will have to pay to get it back. Then tell the lazy woman to make the effort to walk her dog!

SoleSource Thu 01-Nov-12 13:43:25

Yanbu.

Dog's never bite and if they do it is never their fault.

sooperdooper Thu 01-Nov-12 13:44:48

YANBU, I love dogs, I have a dog but I always keep him under control and I would never allow him to run up to a child I/he didn't know and get that close, it's totally irresponsible

BeatTheClock Thu 01-Nov-12 13:45:12

Yadnbu. Some people will never understand that we don't all want dog slobber on us or our dc.

'Don't worry he's friendly/won't bite blah blah..' The mantra of the irresponsible dog ownerhmm When given the chance I always sa 'No, but I do'.

familyfun Thu 01-Nov-12 13:45:50

she looks in 70s and hobbles down path so perhaps cant walk it, she is being lazy though just opening the door knowing it can jump out onto the path.

dd2 could easily hev grabbed/hit it and hurt it and then it could have bitten her.
there is only 1 dog warden in our whole borough so its an empty threat

Popsandpip Thu 01-Nov-12 13:49:04

YANBU as you don't need dogs who aren't under control all over your kids. However, it could have been a great opportunity to introduce your DDs to a friendly dog, under your supervision, so they could become more familiar with them. I think the old lady was insinuating that you should be doing something to ensure your girls aren't afraid of dogs. I agree with her - but wholeheartedly support you in that you need to do it when it's right and appropriate for you and your family. Sounds like the sooner the better to get them over the hump though.

ScaryFakeNails Thu 01-Nov-12 13:51:05

yanbu about the dog being out, it shouldn't be.

However I do think you need to work on getting the children and possibly yourself a bit more used to dogs and trying to overcome your fear as you're obviously passing it on which I would assume is something you don't want to do.

I'm not blaming you at all but the situation would have been quite different if you weren't all afraid of dogs. Also dogs are about and being scared of them to the point where you don't want to walk down a certain street in case its their isn't necessary.

GlitterySkulls Thu 01-Nov-12 13:52:29

i'm a dog owner, i love my dog, & i can't stand people who just open the door & let the dog go.

apart from instances like yours (annoying people/ unintentionally frightening children, which is of course not nice or acceptable) i'm always afraid something happens to the dog (car,another unfriendly dog, someone who will hurt it) & don't understand how these people can just let them roam unsupervised.

yanbu.

familyfun Thu 01-Nov-12 13:53:42

i know she thinks its my kids problem, and it is a problem that they are scared of dogs but i will help them get over it at their own pace. dd1 now just freezes, keeps hands up and waits for them to pass. dd2 is restrained at dog height out infront of me in a pushchair so is still scared.
ils have a dog and we are showing the dds the dog through the window and talking about the nice dog etc but i cant let them meet this dog as ils allow it to jump all over furniture and anyone on furniture and i will not have my dds jumped all over.
dd2 also hates loud noises so any barking makes her cry.

familyfun Thu 01-Nov-12 13:55:45

i am not afraid of dogs, i grew up with a doberman, mongrel and 2 staffies from birth till i was 20 and loved them/played with them/walked them etc.

i now dont have a dog as i dont want the hair/dog poo in garden to clear.

catgirl1976 Thu 01-Nov-12 13:56:00

YANBU that dogs should not be runing aorund lose. It's bad dog ownership

However, you should work on the fact that your children are scared of dogs rather than just accepting it.

technoduck Thu 01-Nov-12 13:57:23

I have a dog myself but would never let her run lose or run up to children in that way. I always keep her on a lead anywhere where there are children and if I'm told that Someone's child doesn't like dog I will make her sit and wait until they have passed us. What is it with little old ladies having dog they can't control?

midori1999 Thu 01-Nov-12 14:01:49

I have loads of dogs, literally loads of them, grin I love dogs, I even own a Golden Retriever jumper, ornaments etc.... grin

However, it is stupid to just let your dog wander off alone and ignorant to let it approach people you do not know, even if they are other dog walkers. I might be walking my dogs quickly before heading off out somewhere and be already dressed, my own dogs don't jump all over me and I sure as hell don't want anyone else's dog doing it!!!

OP have you heard of Pets As Therapy? You may be able to arrange for your DD to meet one of their dogs to help her get over her fear? Or perhaps you know someone with a quiet dog who would sit nicely and not be over friendly for your daughter to get used to? (not over friendly as in not pushy/too enthusiastic)

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Thu 01-Nov-12 14:04:17

Report her to the dogwarden anyway, she is clearly neither a responsible nor a capable dog owner.

familyfun Thu 01-Nov-12 14:05:40

their uncle has a small dog that doesnt jump/bark as he is old, the girls are fine to go in, sit down and dd1 will stroke him, dd2 just watches but neither are scared/crying.
dd1 is much less scared now bigger so i think she will grow out of it, as may dd2 when she is older.

catgirl1976 Thu 01-Nov-12 14:16:00

They might not grow out of it if you have a dislike / wariness of dogs.

Some of your comments suggest you yourself really don't like dogs, so it's probably going to rub off on them

panicnotanymore Thu 01-Nov-12 14:18:33

YANBU allowing her dog to slobber on your children is completely out of order. I have two dogs, they are always on lead around other people. It is just good manners as dogs are dirty, smelly and slobbery and most don't keep their noses out of other people's business.

If it happens again be assertive and don't let her make you feel bad. You aren't at fault. She is, and I bet deep down she knows that. People are most defensive when they know they are at fault.

familyfun Thu 01-Nov-12 14:21:19

im not scared of dogs as ive said, i find them dirty tbh now that i no longer live with them, i dont want to be licked and as im always touching my dds i dont want to stroke a dog whilst im out as then my hands are dirty.

i dont want my dds to be scared, but i dont want them licked and think if this woman just put her dog on a lead and controlled it, i wouldnt have a problem.

what should i say to her if i see her loose the dog out again whilst we are passing?

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Thu 01-Nov-12 14:22:50

A dog just wandering the streets without supervision could cause all sorts of problems and accidents. What if it bit somebody? Got hurt? Run over?

panicnotanymore Thu 01-Nov-12 14:35:59

OP, my tactic when I had to walk to work across a park, and got fed up with muddy paw marks on my work clothes was to carry an umbrella and hold it across the dog's chest to keep it away. Owners who don't listen don't change their tune. Decent dog owners would be embarrassed and apologetic after the first incident and wouldn't need to be asked. I really hate bad dog owner as the rest of us are given a bad name. I dislike dog mess on the path, and loose dogs running about as much as the next person, and would be mortified if my dogs were responsible.

GalaxyDefender Thu 01-Nov-12 14:49:40

I sympathise entirely, OP. Until recently I couldn't walk down the road to my parents house (had to go a much longer way round) due to people doing exactly what this lady did to you. Unfortunately, the dog in my story was a vicious little yappy terrier thing that would do everything in its power to bite you - it eventually got taken away for doing just that to several children and an older lady.

A lot of dog owners just find it hard to accept that there are people out there who aren't mad about dogs. I like most dogs (just as well, MIL's a dog breeder!) but I don't like strange dogs coming up to me and touching me, even if they're "friendly". If it happens again, seriously, report her, or at least tell her that you're going to do so because a loose dog whose owner cannot control it is a potential danger, both to itself and other people.

Flatbread Thu 01-Nov-12 14:52:13

A dog just wandering the streets without supervision could cause all sorts of problems and accidents. What if it bit somebody? Got hurt? Run over?

In rural France (at least the part I live in) dogs wander around the streets all the time. Many have their favourite cafes for a snooze.

In the morning and evening, you can see some doddering old dogs shuffling off for their evening walk on their own, presumably their owners cannot do the walk anymore.

We have had loads of dog visitors and they usually hang around for a while and then go home or on their next social visit.

No major problems or accidents, that I have heard of in the last six years. Have seen some poor moggies run over on the busy main roads. It is really sad when that happens.

That is not the culture in UK, but I don't think dogs allowed some freedom is necessarily such a bad thing. Should say I have never seen any 'dangerous' dog breeds, usually sheepdogs, labs, small mutts etc. I might feel differently if there were growly, aggressive dogs around.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Thu 01-Nov-12 14:52:53

YANBU

I have giant dogs that I love to bits, but I never let them near anyone unless they've asked to stroke them. I think it's part of being a responsible dog owner

Also I'd worry that a dog let put to wonder around would be at risk of traffic and might poo on the pavement without it being cleared up, so I think the neighbour is being very very unreasonable

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