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To fake an orgasm everytime I have sex with my DH?

(34 Posts)
Screamfromtherooftops Tue 30-Oct-12 22:37:02

My DH has a really low sex drive so when we have it it is a nice surprise.

I have never had an orgasm by my husband since we have been together 6 frustrating years

He also is not good at sex at all and has a very small penis. Everytime we have sex I have to fake an orgasm, I feel like I need to do this because I hope it would boost his interest in having it because he worries about his size.

I always compliment him and say that I enjoyed it when I really am left frustrated and wanting more --Because it lasts 5-10 minutes maximum-

I have talked about stuff that I would love him to try with me but he says that he would feel 'Dirty' doing it and never wants to.

So, AIBU to fake an orgasm everytime?

Is he selfish for not trying harder to bring me to one?

Screamfromtherooftops Tue 30-Oct-12 22:38:08

* because it lasts 5-10 minutes maximum

ChaosTrulyReigns Tue 30-Oct-12 22:39:57

Does he know he needs to try harder if you're faking it?

Tryharder Tue 30-Oct-12 22:39:59

Out of interest, what prompted you to marry him?

MsHighwater Tue 30-Oct-12 22:40:54

I feel for and I can't tell you how to deal with it but your sex life is not going to improve if only one of you knows that there's a problem.

PfftTheMagicDraco Tue 30-Oct-12 22:41:41

How can he try harder to bring you to orgasm? As far as he knows, you are having one! He doesn't know that there is anything wrong because you are lying to him.

GrimAndHumourless Tue 30-Oct-12 22:41:58

well

he is not being selfish because he believes you are satisfied, YABU

Howevs - he IBU to not be responsive to your efforts to mix it up a bit

fluffypillow Tue 30-Oct-12 22:42:21

Stop faking it, and talk about it. It's the only way things will improve.

IRCL Tue 30-Oct-12 22:44:44

YABU.

He thinks he is pleasing you so to him there isn't really a problem.

If you want things to change then a good chat is in order I think!

oohlaalaa Tue 30-Oct-12 22:47:01

I don't think you can admit that you've been faking orgasms for last six years. That'd be too hurtful. But perhaps stop with the faking, and give him some tips?

Screamfromtherooftops Tue 30-Oct-12 22:47:03

Dont get me wrong he really is my soul mate but after sex i have told him that I wanted him to carry on and he said that he was too tired More than a few times

I just feel like I have to fake it everytime or it will make him want it less, I have talked about it with him plenty of times that I want to 'Mix it up' but he flat out refuses.

AKissIsNotAContract Tue 30-Oct-12 22:53:17

Can't he get you off during foreplay? Hands? Tongue? Or even choose a position where you can sort yourself out while he's fucking you?

Screamfromtherooftops Tue 30-Oct-12 23:22:45

I have tried to get him to do things that would help me orgasm but he just doesnt know how and gets bored easily so he doesn't try as hard.

I have suggested everything but he always says 'Im not doing that, It's dirty.'

I have also talked him through it in a way by telling him if I want it faster, slower or lower etc. but he has to stop every 30 seconds or he would be finished and that would be the end of it.

I have tried to make foreplay longer and more satisfying but he doesn't enjoy having to stop every 30 seconds because he would cum early.

Its so frustrating.

Ruprekt Tue 30-Oct-12 23:27:15

Have you used a vibrator? You could use this for foreplay, then he could get more involved and then finish off with the vibrator.

You have to stop faking it or he will think you are satisfied.

You are sparing his feelings all the time and for the last 6 years but what about your feelings? Stop covering for him.

You need to tell him what turns you on and that it is not dirty but gets you going. Try dirty talk and dont stop.

I would be well peed off.

Ruprekt Tue 30-Oct-12 23:28:50

Does he only like missionary or will he try other positions?

He could do doggy style whilst you masturbate with a vibrator.

Dannilion Tue 30-Oct-12 23:31:08

oh gosh Screamfromtherooftops, judging by your recent posts you are not having a ball are you... hmm

McHappyPants2012 Tue 30-Oct-12 23:34:08

Be honest with him, show him what makes you come.

Sex is great fun and there is so many ways to explore each other

saintmerryweather Tue 30-Oct-12 23:36:28

my ex was like this, a selfish twat when it came to sex. he never went down on me because it made his neck hurt and he didnt like the taste. so i suggested different positions and bought differemt flavour lubes to use (he picked them so he couldnt say he didnt like them). he then said he didnt know what to do so i suggested we watched some porn or looked on the internet (this was dirty). i was with him for a year and a half and he never made me orgasm, not even close. after a while i figured out it was because he didnt care if i was happy in bed as long as he got his end away. it was the main reason i broke up with him. however i never faked an orgasm, i made sure he knew i hadnt come, to try to get him to find new things to try (like i was doing for him). stop faking!

AKissIsNotAContract Tue 30-Oct-12 23:41:13

Sex is supposed to be dirty!

If he really believes sex is dirty then it sounds as though he needs to talk to a professional. Was he raised very religious? Does he masturbate? I'm not expecting you to answer those questions but they might give you an insight into where his feelings come from.

Fakebook Tue 30-Oct-12 23:42:48

What? I thought you had a bf and you'd only been together 3 years. Why are you lying? hmm

Ruprekt Wed 31-Oct-12 00:12:52

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

pumpkinsweetie Wed 31-Oct-12 00:20:32

Lying never gets you anywhere!
Yabu, he thinks he pleases you and knows no different, unless of course you point him in the right direction!
You will never find ways to reach orgasm if you carry on with this charadesad
Don't tell him you haven't ever had an orgasm, it will ruin him but no more faking and point him in the right direction from now on!

ErikNorseman Wed 31-Oct-12 06:46:07

Trolling fail!

safflower Wed 31-Oct-12 06:59:34

trip trap tripped up here!

TantrumsIsTheREALPumpkinKiller Wed 31-Oct-12 07:04:51

Oh FFS what's the point?

Why do people get off on getting people to give helpful advice when they know it's all bullshit?

I will never understand this.

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