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AIBU?

To wonder if other people sometimes feel out of their depth at work?

21 replies

Farnyworth · 30/10/2012 19:09

Sometimes I just wonder what the heck I am doing?

I have just started a new job after ML, at a new company (same industry and essentially the same role as previously).

I love the job and everyone seems really nice but now and again I have an attack of feeling like a phoney.

I feel like everyone seems really knowledgeable and the new role I have (which is a promotion in comparison with my old job) is way beyond me.

Do other people feel like this sometimes or am I just actually rubbish?

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cogitosum · 30/10/2012 19:11

I think everyone feels like that at points. As long as your not getting totally stressed you'll be fine. Also don't be afraid to ask for help and support (within reason) as IMO most people love talking and so are happy to explain stuff!

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Chubfuddler · 30/10/2012 19:15

This is not my beautiful wife, this is not my beautiful car...

Imposter syndrome. It's common.

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Autumnchill · 30/10/2012 19:18

I constantly feel that one day they'll realise I'm not right for the job and I've been over promoted (this is after 13 years!).

Today has been a fire fighting day, tomorrow hopefully calmer. We all feel overwhelmed at times.

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griphook · 30/10/2012 19:20

I'm always waiting to be found out, ifyswim. In reality I'm good at my job and well qualified for it

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cogitosum · 30/10/2012 19:23

Actually sometimes I think it's a good thing. What I do I find easy(ish) so I feel it's simple and anyone can do it. When I look at other departments or colleagues what they do seems really complex so I feel that they must be much better than me but actually it's because they understand what they do iyswim

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LunaticFringe · 30/10/2012 19:23

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Raspberrysorbet · 30/10/2012 19:24

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Farnyworth · 30/10/2012 19:25

Have just wiki'd Imposter Syndrome, I am shocked there is such a thing - I don't think I am clever enough to fall in to that category though Grin

I wonder too if men feel it as much or are they generally more confident in their accomplishments/not arsed if they are wrong anyway !

I am going to try and do some reading tonight on a few pointers and maybe I will speak up a bit more if I need to ask a question (maybe). Or maybe I'll just keep my head down til retirement - in a squillion years! [hgrin]

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Farnyworth · 30/10/2012 19:28

Now I am think everyone round the table at meetings is blagging it really.

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Raspberrysorbet · 30/10/2012 19:31

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Binkybix · 30/10/2012 19:33

I get this ALL the time. Even when I do well and am told I have done well I assume it was luck and that I'm going to get found out. Everyone else just seems to much better and more capable...

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Autumnchill · 30/10/2012 19:33

I always wonder if blokes feel the same. I know female heads of department where I work all feel the same.

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ChristmasKate · 30/10/2012 19:36

I thought it was just me, I have good and bad days but do have a feeling that some one is going to discover I'm incapable even though I'm not!

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aldiwhore · 30/10/2012 19:42

I always feel like a phoney and I'm quite low grade, general admin.

My best mate feels like a phoney and she's senior management.

I try to make up the cofidence deficit with sheer hard graft, I and my mate, seem to do well on that philosophy!

I'm returning to work after an 8 YEAR ML... you can do the job, and you're better equipped for the 'unknown random complications' than you ever were before children.


I do think blokes feel the same, in a different way. I think anyone who has young children and feels the pressure of the need to provide feels world heavy a lot of the time whether paid employment or not.

I know my husband was 'weird' (a different weird to me which meant I didn't pick up on the subtlties of his behaviour sooner) for a while, he said it was all based in the pressure to be the one who decides the difference in comfort or homelessness. (Which was all I needed to get back to work part time at least, the rent is paid....)

He has also been in his business for 25 years, he's brilliant at what he does, but he has wobbles every now and then, big ones.

YANBU. I'm doing an application for a job I know and have done before (vacancy arisen in my old office) and yet, even though I know I can do the job blindfolded and upside down, I don't believe a word of what I'm writing! It feels like a huge con, but that's life 'dharlink' the world's a stage.

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FreudianLisp · 30/10/2012 19:45

YANBU. I feel your pain.

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Chubfuddler · 30/10/2012 19:51

I also think everyone in other departments must be really clever to know all that stuff about property or probate or family law - it somehow doesn't occur to me they know fuck all about my area of law.

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Shenanagins · 30/10/2012 19:57

I feel the same but by recently talking to others realised that i am not the only one.

seem to recall Anna Wintour saying she felt something similar when she took over vogue. so its not just us mere mortals!

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Curtsey · 30/10/2012 20:03

Yes. But I realised a couple of years ago that really most people do feel like this: like they're blagging their way through their working life and are just waiting to be found out.

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limitedperiodonly · 30/10/2012 20:08

I think most people are crap at their jobs but never say and don't think anyone notices. The ones who are good are people with occasional doubts like you. And me, of course Grin

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HoleyGhost · 30/10/2012 20:44

I think it is normal, but can't wait for it to change. So I am trying to learn all I can and be more assertive.

At some point this might translate into confidence

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Rollmops · 30/10/2012 21:13

Oh yes, for nearly 20 years I had a secret giggle every time I had a meeting at CEO level, getting ridiculously large sums of money, heck, GDPs of small countries, spent on my ideas etc. They never found me out, you know.... heeeheeee.

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