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To think she's not 'sullen', she's just 8 months old.

(57 Posts)
deemented Tue 30-Oct-12 11:49:24

My sister met my youngest daughter for the first time over the weekend. She's 8 months and because she didn't smile on command, apparently she's a sullen child. Forget the fact that my sister is a complete stranger to her, and she was surrounded by other strangers - my neice and two nephews as well as my Aunt, nope. She's sullen hmm

Oh and my two year old will grow up not knowing if he's Arthur or Martha because he has long curly hair that i won't cut and likes to wear a pink hat. Apparently i will confuse him and he won't know which side he bats for.

<mind boggles>

I now remember why i live so far away from my family!

HorraceTheOtter Tue 30-Oct-12 11:52:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EarnestDullard Tue 30-Oct-12 11:52:26

I'll join you in your boggling. Your sister sounds like a loon, and you and your children are probably better off for not seeing much of her if that's the kind of nonsense she spouts.

deemented Tue 30-Oct-12 11:53:52

It was more of a 'Who the fuck ARE these people, and why are they passing me round like a game of pass the parcel and forcing me to drink strawberry milkshake?' kind of look, tbf.

SofaKing Tue 30-Oct-12 11:55:09

I don't think it's your eight month old who is sullen!

Eight months is one of the clingy ages and my eldest ds could not be put down by me without crying, let alone smiling on cue for strangers.
My sister was told the same about her ds as you have been about yours, and cut off his beautiful golden curls. He is now 19 and has just grown them back, because his girlfriend of four years thinks he looks great!

CatsRule Tue 30-Oct-12 11:55:16

Families....aren't they great!! Not!!

My 8 month old ds is very smiley but hr often stares and checks people out before smiling...often he just chooses not to grin

I think your 2 year old is too young to be confused about that kind of thing just yet. It's comments like that from adults who cut childhood short and make children grow up too quickly!

Enjoy living far away from these kinds of people!

HorraceTheOtter Tue 30-Oct-12 11:59:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

roundtable Tue 30-Oct-12 11:59:56

You should have told her she's just an excellent judge of character already with a pointed look.

People say the most ridiculous things about babies though. My mil said she thinks my ds at 11 months was going to be a bully because, like babies do, he gets frustrated and gets in a strop.

jaggythistle Tue 30-Oct-12 12:08:50

YANBU shock

it always confuses me when people say stuff like that about wee babies. like they're mini adults with stroppy moods.

the thing with the hair and the hat? just bonkers.

Lottapianos Tue 30-Oct-12 12:14:19

Absolutely bonkers. What a horrible thing to say about both of your children. YANBU at all.

Some people are such utter arseholes and there seem to be more stories about them on here this week than usual confused

Mathsdidi Tue 30-Oct-12 12:16:44

My dd2 is sullen too apparently hmm She's 2.5 and very shy (painfully so) so she doesn't smile or talk at strangers. This is fine by me, and even my parents are ok with her being rather stand-offish for a couple of hours when they come and visit. The inlaws don't like it though, they complain at me every time we see them that she is grumpy and sullen because she doesn't rush over and cuddle them immediately. She might be happier to see them if they came to us occassionally (but I don't mention this as I would them have to clean the house to mil standards rather than my lax busy standards) instead of waiting til we go to them which ends up being 2-3 months between visits for an afternoon.

All people who think small children are sullen, grumpy or other negative words are completely bonkers. And your ds's hair sounds gorgeous, I wouldn't be cutting it either (I adore curly blonde or ginger hair on anyone)

Lottapianos Tue 30-Oct-12 12:22:38

'The inlaws don't like it though, they complain at me every time we see them that she is grumpy and sullen because she doesn't rush over and cuddle them immediately'

And what are you supposed to do? Poke her with a cattle prod when she refuses? Make her go and give them a cuddle (coz that's not unhealthy and extremely weird)? confused Arseholes. It's downright sad that some people have zero empathy for children. She's lucky that at least you are on her side smile Not every parent is.

RobinSparkles Tue 30-Oct-12 12:24:15


My 20 month old will glare at strangers, in fact even people who arent strangers come to think of it. She's been like that since being tiny and is very shy with adults. She won't smile or laugh at adults who chat to her or if she does it's very rare!

She LOVES other children though and will laugh and play with children, even ones that she doesn't know.

Your baby isn't sullen, she's just a baby!

merlottits Tue 30-Oct-12 12:25:17

I've got 2 young DD's close in age and my family are horrible about one of them. My youngest is the smiliest thing, will go to anyone. My other DD is serious and takes a little time to warm up to people. They are both bright and engaging and lovely girls. My mother goes ON AND ON about my more serious DD as being 'strange' and 'hard to like' and speaks in a big loud voice to her sister "YOU ARE SUCH A LOVELY FRIENDLY GIRL AREN'T YOU?" as if we're all so stupid we don't know what she's getting at.

People can be utter wankers about small children.
The irony is - my serious DD is exactly like me as a small child so hardly a complete freak...I don't think.

Thumbwitch Tue 30-Oct-12 12:27:13

YANBU. Your sister has ishoos. Ignore her.

RobinSparkles Tue 30-Oct-12 12:27:15

DD won't cuddle her GPs either! She'll cuddle my mum but she sees her everyday. She'll cuddle MIL and FIL after we've been at their house for a few hours (or they've been at ours) but she's always very shy initially.

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt Tue 30-Oct-12 12:27:26

What an utterly horrible thing to say about your much loved daughter. What breed of fuckwits look at a child and call her 'sullen'.

Mumsyblouse Tue 30-Oct-12 12:29:42

At eight months, my daughter had really strong separation anxiety, and not only wouldn't smile when given to family and friends, but would scream and cry loudly. She couldn't cuddle anyone til she was over a year old. It was torture, as of course everyone wanted to cuddle her and pass her around.

She just wasn't that kind of a baby (my second was).

Babies differ, how rude of your sister to comment.

Convert Tue 30-Oct-12 12:29:42

My 1 yr old does an impressive disdainful glare and has done since she was about 6 months. Ignore the idiots.

schoolchauffeur Tue 30-Oct-12 12:30:28

My DD had a very impressive "Paddington Stare" reserved for quite a few people until she was about 4! She also used to actually raise her shoulder towards people as if hiding her face and frown- her nursery called it her "scrunched up pirate face"! Now aged 17 she is an absolute charmer who is still quite reserved, but open, smiley and friendly and gets on with anyone.
Ignore them all!

Mathsdidi Tue 30-Oct-12 12:31:56

Lotta I am most definitely on her side as is dp and our childminder, so the people she sees regularly don't pressure her to be 'outgoing' or 'friendly'. Dp's nephew is incredibly shy as well (although he's taken a liking to me for some reason grin) and mil tells sil exactly how she needs to deal with him, which mostly involves handing him to people and letting him get on with crying as 'he'll get used to it' sad. Sil isn't as confident with her parenting or as stubborn as I am and always seems to just do what mil tells her about dealing with her children.

sue52 Tue 30-Oct-12 12:33:20

I've never met a sullen baby, I have met plenty of people equally as ridiculous your sister who sounds a bit barking tbh.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Tue 30-Oct-12 12:33:20

I can't believe she's 8 months already!! Where the feck does the time go??

How are things going with your MIL??

Franky, your family is batshit grin enjoy not living near them!!

TravelinColour Tue 30-Oct-12 12:35:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottapianos Tue 30-Oct-12 12:35:45

'My mother goes ON AND ON about my more serious DD as being 'strange' and 'hard to like''

What a very sad way to refer to your own grandchild! I could well imagine my mother being the same when my sister has a baby. Have these people ever heard of nurturing and accepting children for who they are?

'People can be utter wankers about small children' - so true grin and sad

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