A quick one: WIBU to ask to bring a meal forward?

[CharminglyOdd]

A joint birthday meal for three friends. About ten or twelve of us going. Just had the email with place/time (after I'd agreed to go) and I now remember why I didn't bust a gut to go to the last one (had logistics problems). Table will be booked for 9pm.

Culturally everyone else (apart from DP and maybe one or two of the others) eats later in the evening but DP went to the last one and he said no one turned up until 10pm apart from the British people and then they got kicked out at midnight by the very annoyed staff who by that point were desperate to go home.

I get up at 5:30am every morning for work and am in bed by 9pm so I can get up in the morning. I eat (and get hungry) at 5:30pm. This is my weekend off but I still have to roughly stick to the timings as it takes ages for my body to 'break in'. I really didn't think they would set the meal so late and I know they will turn up late - it's always at least 30mins after a meeting time.

The table hasn't been booked yet. WIBU to ask to move it earlier to 8pm (therefore realistically eating at 9pm)? Otherwise I'm going to have to go for dessert only, which is rude but I just can't eat that late. I probably won't even be awake enough to eat! [hgrin] I do understand that it's not my birthday meal, which is why I think I may be being U. OTOH I always try and consider everyone when I make group events and would try and find a compromise if someone felt the way I do about this.

[DameEnidsOrange]

Could you volunteer to book the table? Only to find out that they don't take bookings as late as 9 so you have helpfully booked it for 8pm [hgrin]

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

There's no harm in asking the organiser, as long as you do it in a way that says you understand if it can't be changed and you don't ask with the expectation that your request will automatically be met.

Otherwise, you either do the time that suits most people going, or you decline the invite.

[CharminglyOdd]

Sadly it's the birthday girl making the booking. The restaurant they want is lovely but, culturally, very British so I anticipate them getting kicked out at after midnight (just spoken to DP he said it was half twelve and there had been no one else there for an hour) again.

DP says it's okay just to go for dessert. It's a shame as I like the restaurant but apparently it was made clear last time that 9pm was too late so if they're doing the same I guess there's nothing to be said.

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

I don't understand why you'd just have dessert? If you're just having dessert you will be there for the end of the meal and up late anyway.

Couldn't you just have a small something earlier in the evening and have the meal with them, even if you just had something light?

[FutTheShuckUp]

I dont think its the done thing to agree to go somewhere and then try to change the time to suit you.
Either go or dont if the timings dont suit.

[mollymole]

Can you have a light snack around 5.30 and then eat a smaller portion of the meal

[bedmonster]

I'm not sure I follow. Is it basically that you don't want to eat late? Can't you just not go if its going to mess with your mealtimes?

[CharminglyOdd]

I haven't asked. Just replied and said we are going - spoken to DP and we'll turn up and make an excuse about having been hungry and eaten but are ready to eat pudding whilst they eat a meal (will be a nice preview for them [hgrin]).

Not going will be seen as more of an insult than turning up and eating just pudding. We'll probably also make our excuses earlier than we'd be able to if eating a full meal. I don't know about everyone else but it takes a while for me to feel comfortable after eating and to let my food go down, hence why I don't want to eat late. I can sit there and doze slightly in and out of conversations and we'll leave when I really am about to sleep. Neither of us have enough money to pay for a meal we're not going to eat/enjoy so pudding is a compromise.

Thanks for your input - it reined in my first impulse which was to fire off an email asking whether she was mad to consider eating near to midnight! That's a joke! [hgrin]

[bedmonster]

It does take me a while to feel comfortable after a meal but for the sake of a special meal for 3 friends birthdays i'd just get on with it It can't be every week that this happens. You'll look very odd turning up, eating pudding then leaving again, I think that's more of an insult than just telling the truth to be honest.