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To think you should stay out of other people's bedrooms

(450 Posts)
Alligatorpie Tue 30-Oct-12 06:27:48

pil's were just visiting ( for 10 days) and I lost track of the times FIL came into my bedroom. He normally has a problem with boundaries, and after being with dh for 15 years, i am used to it.

Either I was in there, or the dc's were, so to my knowledge he doesn't go in there alone, he doesn't snoop around, he just talks to whoever is in there.

But I would never go into another adults bedroom - we stayed at pil's house for six weeks and I don't think I ever went in their bedroom.

AIBU to think you should respect some spaces in other people's houses? Or is this normal behavior? and no , I didn't confront him.

ToothbrushThief Tue 30-Oct-12 06:38:22

Ugh I'd hate that

My bedroom is my sanctuary (granted it doesn't look like one...) but others coming in, feels like an invasion of privacy

I frequently have found my mum wandering through it though and suspect she opens cupboards and drawers 'curious to see how much space you have/ looking for a tea towel ....' I hate it

Tbh you'd be best leaving a black basque and stockings on the bed with a whip for FiL .It might frighten him off

ripsishere Tue 30-Oct-12 06:42:04

Or a black rubber incredible hulk strap on cocky.

FeersumEndjinn Tue 30-Oct-12 06:46:57

Each to their own, but I don't feel the same way. When I'm showing visitors around the house (e.g. family or Uni friends, some of whom may be coming to stay) sometimes people seem reluctant to come into the "master bedroom" but this seems odd to me - I guess the whole house is my "santuary" to some extent. I also have no problem popping into my parents room to borrow my mums hairbrush or heair dryer if I'm staying and forgot or didn't have room to pack one. Of course I would stay out of the master bedroom in a house where I didn't know the people I was visiting very well, so I guess the taboo is there in my subconscious but just to a lesser extent.

AitchDee Tue 30-Oct-12 06:55:01

If I ever had visitors or anyone to stay I wouldn't mind them going in my bedroom. To me it's just like any other room in my house.

Moot point, because no one but me, my husband and children are ever here.

BloodRedAlienReflux Tue 30-Oct-12 06:59:57

No I wouldn't be bothered, but if your FIL creeps you out, I guess that would explain it?
So is he a bit letchy or are you a bit tetchy?

ZombTEE Tue 30-Oct-12 07:04:41

I wouldn't do it in my inlaws bedroom just as they don't come into mine, but I wander in and out my parents all the time.

My mom and I still like to cuddle up in their big bed, grandchildren sometimes included, and watch TV. I'm 43.


TrudiRed Tue 30-Oct-12 07:14:19

I agree with this. I do go into my mum's bedroom but not really unless there is a reason and she knows I'm in there. But I feel uncomfortable with anyone other than very close family going into my room - perhaps because its always a mess! I found a friend of DH's watching TV on our bed once during a party (strange man!) and I was really uncomfortable with that. I don't think he did much more than turn on the TV but it was still a bit odd. I don't let anyone go in my kids bedrooms if they are not there either - if other kids come round while they are at school for example. Bedrooms are private places imo.

bedmonster Tue 30-Oct-12 07:15:49

I don't mind people coming into mine at all, always wander in and out of my Mums bedroom if I'm there but don't tend to in PIL house.

Alligatorpie Tue 30-Oct-12 07:34:08

I like the whip idea!I am not sure dh would tho!

Maybe it bugs me because it is a tip most of the time they are here as we move everything from the playroom to make a bedroom for them.

He is a lovely man, not creepy at all, but he does drive me nuts with his lack of boundaries ( he will ask if I've gained weight, or tell me he liked my hair better before I cut it...)

I go in my mom's bedroom too, maybe I am more comfortable there.

higgle Tue 30-Oct-12 13:02:57

I go into my mother's bedroom and play with her make up ( she has nicer brands than me) just like I did when I was 15. She is 86 and I am 56.

MissKeithLemon Tue 30-Oct-12 13:12:45

I'm another one who has no problem with bedroom visitors as it were grin

I think it all depends on how most of us were brought up ourselves tbh.

I often find ds and several of his friends in my room watching something on tv, and as long as normal house rules are applied (tidy up after yourselves, general politeness observed so no little boys in my knicker drawers) I have no problem with it. My bed is massive compared to the dc's and I guess they find it more comfy to lig out on.

I have no problem going in my parents rooms either and they are both re married so they are the bedrooms of my step parents too. My step mum has a fabulous wardrobe full of dresses and she often sends me up to look for something to wear to a party or what not. Both my step sisters rifle through her wardrobe without being offered and I don't think my dad minds/cares one bit.

Boundaries in my family are very close in general though, we are a family of kissers and huggers all round grin

ScaryBeardyDeadyman Tue 30-Oct-12 13:18:12

rips I think an incredible hulk strap on would be green and probably reserved for angry fucking.

ScaryBeardyDeadyman Tue 30-Oct-12 13:20:27

I've noticed that my fil does the same. He just wanders in to bedrooms uninvited and without knocking. Never found a way to deal with it, he's just a bit oblivious to a need for privacy!

mrsfuzzy Tue 30-Oct-12 13:21:03

enter only if you want the weight of my doc marten on your backside!

weegiemum Tue 30-Oct-12 13:29:55

MissKeithLemon you have knicker drawers -plural!
Respect! I've never met someone with more than one knicker drawer!!

MissKeithLemon Tue 30-Oct-12 13:31:03

Ha ha Weegie - they are tiny drawers though to be honest unlike the knickers inside them blush

motherinferior Tue 30-Oct-12 13:31:21

No problem here either. I'm quite nosey.

Ithinkitsjustme Tue 30-Oct-12 13:35:25

I'd hate that - no-one but no-one enters my bedroom without my express permission, and that includes my DC's. (I do allow DH in though grin). There have been times when I have used my DPs room to get changed at their house but only if it is the only space available. Not something I'm comfortable with. I think that you either need to live with it or speak out though, he can't be expected to read your mind.

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 30-Oct-12 13:43:24

ScaryBeardy that comment was rather hmm I don't like the idea of "angry fucking" and think anger and sex should never be equated actually. So it wasn't a funny comment. But rather horrible.

ScaryBeardyDeadyman Tue 30-Oct-12 13:46:51

MrsC my apologies that you're offended by the comment. It was based on the fact that Bruce banner only becomes the incredible hulk when angry and is incapable of acts other than those borne out of anger when in said state. No offense intended at any point.

MissKeithLemon Tue 30-Oct-12 13:48:53

I thought it was funny tbh hmm

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 30-Oct-12 13:50:02

Good for you MissLemon.

I didn't.

But I appreciate the explanation from beardy

MissKeithLemon Tue 30-Oct-12 13:53:18

Good. Glad you understand the joke now.

I was letting Daddyman know that his humour was not so out of kilter that everyone needed the punchline explaining wink

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 30-Oct-12 13:55:20

No. I did understand it. I just didn't like it.

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